05.04.04
Hark! I hear a stirring and heartfelt ovation for Wendy and Shauna, our first Interview Week interviewees. And interviewers! You too can receive a big round of imaginary applause by interviewing someone and sending the results here. Without further ado, HK proudly presents our favorite editor, Shauna! and the third-grade teacher we all wish we'd had, Wendy!

Hey! Me and Wendy Jane-interviewed each other. Here are:

The Same 5 Questions They Always Ask.

Shauna "Sassaby" Miller:

1. What would you do if you were a ghost?
- I would sneak crazy fortunes into cookies for nervous people to find on first dates, like, "She's off her pills," or "You are related."

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
- Yes, but only in the movies.

3. What's the closest you've come to being arrested?
- I couldn't have set that fire in the girls' bathroom! I was in detention the whole afternoon.

4. What are you doing tonight?
- Trying to explain a dream i had the other night where I was in a big, mirrored elevator and no one was wearing pants.

5. What's the weirdest thing you do when you're alone?
- I eat mustard. OK?? Yes, I am pathetic

Wendy "Shortcake" Dunlap:

1. What would you do if you were a ghost?
- I would dress in a pretty frock, find a witty ghost friend, and space and time travel. Maybe i'd let people channel me sometimes and solve mysteries.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
- Would it be ethical to fake an organism? I'm not a biologist.

3. What's the closest you've come to being arrested?
- Parking garage...Dave's ne'er do well but good-hearted, fun-loving friends...snarky police officers who judge ID pictures...

4. What are you doing tonight?
- I'm watching Gilmore Girls then doing some more literary stalking of Ms. Patricia Highsmith

5. What's the weirdest thing you do when you're alone?
- I try not to be alone