Condi and I were slow to our respective posts this morning and now feel rushed (Condi may have even picked another fight on the space train —- you know the mouth on her sometimes), but I want to send space mail to you both quickly to let you know that we’re thinking about you as the ceremony nears, and, for as long as you both are on earth this week, we wish for you nothing to do, absolutely no new papers to edit; no requests for information; no shipments to make, because you probably have a few final details to arrange, for which we also wish you success and good fortune.
We are excited to attend the upcoming events, to sit and talk with the friends you’ve kept hidden from us in other quadrants (or kept Condi hidden from them —- the mouth on that one!). Please also know I have promised Condi that I will not bring a handmade sign to the ceremony that might embarrass you —- all the letters I cut out of space paper are neat and orderly, and I think you will be pleasantly surprised by what I’ve been able to do with a few simple lyrics from Jay-Z and the Beatles.
Finally, we had hoped to outfit the longest wall in our spaceship with a count down clock, like the giant deficit clock in Times Square, with its numbers in a large, red LED readout, but after some price investigation and a foolish and manic bidding war on the eBay, we found the cost prohibitive, so Condi rigged the alarm clock on our night stand to count down the remaining space time until the ceremony. We stayed up all night watching the numbers change, mesmerized, and so we were slow to our posts this morning, but let me quickly tell you: there are sooooo many minutes remaining before the events that you will be able to complete everything -— no problem...
The technician turned the volume down on the receiver and turned to her
colleague, who had just entered the building after smoking a cigarette outside
the lobby. As the cold draft that followed him inside settled across the
room's tiled floor, he stared at her, his coat still hanging from one arm,
and he asked her, “Who else has heard this?” She mouthed, “No
one.” He shook his head, uncertain what they should do with the transmission
intercepted by their TiVo, and then he said, “This shouldnt go in the
report, should it?” The technician rolled her eyes and replied, “Not
unless you want-—” but she stopped when a loud tone emanated from
the speaker on the counter, and they heard a second transmission:
...I have no more space food. I have circled the planet for 26 space days.
If I only had a banana, I would eat it. I would eat all the bananas I could
get, if I werent strapped into this seat. I never thought the zoo would
look so good to me. I would also eat nuts; I like nuts, especially walnuts.
Walnuts are delicious....
by: Erik Francis Gillespie