12.03.02
Please give
it up for Sally L., GAME NIGHT chieftan, and owner of HEARTTHROB, by Milton
Bradley ©1988.
<<APPLAUSE>>
HK: Sarah, what IS Heartthrob, the game?
SL: First and foremost, Heartthrob is a game for white people! Choose your ideal
mate from a cast of 60 super white guys! Narrow down your choices by asking
hardhitting questions like, Is Bobby a motormouth? Does Greg always forget to
zip up his pants? Is Dex really responsible for 90% of the graffiti in the girls'
bathroom? It's survival of the FINEST in this game of natural selection!
HK: Who would you rather dance
with, Dex or Greg?
SL: I would rather dance with Greg. You made a good argument about him looking
"fun to dance with." Besides, even though Dex is pretty hot, I don't go for
the black trenchcoat type.
HK: I see. Do you find that white, homosexual men can
also play this game? Or is it only for white, heterosexual women?
SL: I think that anyone who is interested in dancing, dating, or going steady
with a white man who wears a bandalero tie has an advantage - and probably a
little more fun. But anyone can play! Heartthrob is a game that allows players
to explore what they value in a relationship. For intance, Jake is a beautiful
man who looks great in a cowboy hat - but I just couldn't be with someone who
everyone calls "gearhead." Maybe Trevor has a unibrow, but I think its cool
that his little sister is teaching him how to dance. Those are my values.
HK: Wow, I have a feeling this game could help a lot of people sort out their
OWN values, right SL?
SL: Definitely! It also helps you learn more about what your friends are looking
for in their ideal partner. For example, I learned a lot about your taste in
men, Jenny. Who knew that even though you are mostly gay, you'd like dancing
close, real close, with a hottie like Skip who is active in the boyscouts? That
means almost as much to me as winning - which I did. BY A LOT. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
HK: Will this game be featured at GAME NIGHT, the Sequel?
SL: You bet! Vegetarian chili and the new snack set I bought in Ohio will also
be prominently featured. It's going to be the best GAME NIGHT ever.
HK: Parting thoughts?
SL: Heartthrob is easily the best game about gender politics that I ever bought
at a Thrift Store. You'll love it!