My sister Jesse swears by those little pocket microscopes...she just killed a mosquito and whipped one out. The little bastard's got a blood-filled proboscis, looks something like this:
"This photo was taken from sea wall on Bayshore Blvd. in Tampa this morning. The dolphin chased the fish into the wall. This is the last known photograph of that fish alive."
Terrestrial
The parks that line the bay are also where to watch the people, people-watching being the apparent occupation of the subspecies Old Bench Dudes. On view: parades of funny dog-and-owner pairings, scandalous/puzzling outfits, the gamut of exercise programs, whole tanneries of leathery ladies, black, white and brown guys fishing or clamming, and...more. And men playing two-on-two beach volleyball, which is no walk in the park:
We got to hang with Debs and Brian last week. Brian's from the area, so there was no need to show them nice things. We went to the divey bar and played pool. Debs, being the documentarian, doesn't get a picture.
The only way we didn't all lose every time was by playing each other.
Three more things
If you are interested in large-scale outdoor sculpture, you might look at Maegan's dad's progress on his new piece, "Tilt," at Bill Wood Sculpture.
We Skyped with the parents in Kampala for mom's day. It was fun! Look, there we are on the bottom left, and there they are in their apartment in Africa. There was some weird glitch with the audio, so we couldn't hear them at all, and we sounded like helium-huffing puppets to them.
It was difficult to get Mike in a picture because he kept wandering off to get crafts to show us — stuff they're collecting from the locals to sell as part of their Africa trAID program. They had beautiful baskets, comically large wooden utensils, scary dolls, pretty dolls, masks, bags, fabric and carved animals, an awesome diorama (photo 4), and a frightening stuffed black figure nailed to some sticks. "That was jesus," typed mom. They looked good and healthy and were obviously enjoying their South African wine. Cheers!
I haven't touched the old Romance Comics site in ages, but the thing has a life of its own. For my next trick: making real world romances get so much mileage out of so much neglect and so little work. Stay tuned.
Stage:
A couple months ago I neglected to post photos from the play My Comic Valentine: A Comic Book for the Stage, which was great, and they used the books I'd posted for their source material. It was reviewed in the post here. Many bravas to Carmen Wong, Lane Pianta and the various actors who put on a truly imaginative, comic, and touching show. They even used my essay in their program, which was swell, and briefly reminded me of a time when I used my brain.
Here they are performing a deodorant ad. Photo by Stuart Garwood.
Audio:
Today I got an email from one Sage Tyrtle, a Torontonian (you can tell by the way she spells "dramatising"). She and her minions create and perform these great audio pieces for her site, QN Podcast. She says, "Hi Jenny, I wrote you ages ago to say thank you for all your Romance Comic scans, as I'd created an audioplay dramatising the most appalling of them *grin* — it's finally up." Romantic Secrets. Can't wait to go digging around that site.
Visual & Literary:
I was psyched a couple weeks ago to get an email from Nava Atlas, writer of vegetarian cookbooks, and now author of two tomes right up my pop-cultural, ephemeral, romantical and feminist alley, Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife, and a limited edition (I'll let her speak), "altered romance comic book (taking out the old dialog and replacing it with contemporary situations/observations)." She's posting some of her finished work and fleshing out new ideas at her new blog: Modern Romance Comix, "Another adventure in appropriation by Nava Atlas." This woman's got some projects...the blog to accompany her new book is naturally at Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife (she sent me the book, and it's wonderful, albeit, uh, realistic) and I'm liking this spot, too:
A Long Way, Maybe, "A blog that ponders whether women have come a long way, baby, or just a long way . . . maybe."
Hope Nava doesn't mind my re-appropriating her regular grind, pressure packed art here.
There's more, so much more, but I've got iced tea to drink, and not-computer stuff to do. If you ask me, today I jogged slowly for a miraculous 30 minutes, saw that my stepdad has joined Facebook and befriended my girlfriend and not me, and learned that I will soon be parting out Goldie, my '72 Honda CB350 on eBay. Yeah!
My sister's heavily edited piece ran in the Trib Saturday. It's good, check it out: Learning how to photograph hope, by Jesse Miller, special to the Tampa Tribune.
I hear that my friends recently submitted "Like" to a FOUND Magazine contest, and it will win, if FOUND knows what they're doing, because "Like" is the greatest bit of flotsam that ever washed up on this shore. I found this letter in some old stationary I purchased, and it's no "Like," but it does document a little girl's cold in North Carolina, 1958.
Lamb Chop in Action, from Dan W., "For those of you who had better things to do on a Saturday night then watch the scrap booking segment on HSN – I uploaded the video to youtube. Had a little hiccup when cutting cloth. Its not really made for that and I'm not sure why they said it was. Also wished they had demonstrated with lighter paper colors for the camera because I think the line would have appeared more clearly defined for TV. All in all it went pretty well." YouTube link to Lamp Chop on HSN
Pet Portraits, from Dan C., "An old buddy of Jessica and mine from Brooklyn does some bitchin' pet portraits that you will likely dig: here. It's mainly dogs, but there are cool cats, like this one."
And necessity is the mother of invention. Your lack of fulfillment is but a fertile ground, a bubbling laboratory for progress! And invention! Today's subject is invention. They're inventing at Achewood this week:
"Be courageous. I have seen many depressions in business. Always America has emerged from these stronger and more prosperous. Be brave as your fathers before you. Have faith! Go forward!" — Thomas A. Edison
My friend Dan, too, is an inventor.
As Seen on TV: The Lamp Chop
From: Dan Weisberg
Subject: The Lamp Chop on Home Shopping Network
Dear Friends,
My new product, The Lamp Chop, will be previewing on the Home Shopping Network this Saturday, May 2nd at 2AM EST and then again at 8PM EST. It is live TV and the product presenter will be using the product to cut photos — her fingers just inches away from the blade. Could make for some compelling television.
Best regards,
Dan
St. Petersburg Shuffleboard Club
This morning I woke up at 6:30 and went for a walk. The air was cool and I think as summer heats up it's going to make sense to take advantage of every morning.
I got my Florida voter registration card in the mail yesterday. I can't wait to check out my new polling place.
Like Michelle Collins (who just surprised me by not being a fag), I was enjoying an idyllic spring day in the outdoors when I began receiving text messages Bea-ring the bad news: the Queen of the Golden Girls had died. When we got home that night, Coach and I partook in the new 6th stage of celebrity mourning, the YouTube Remembrance.
"Rock Hudson and Bea sing 'Sniff Swig Puff!' Easily the catchiest and most upbeat song about drug addicts ever sung. Two old alkies just ramblin' on about weed and pills and poppers and cocaine. The lyrics are simply genius, and also probably written by someone addicted to 'horse.'"
Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend
Last night my little gang went to see Ray LaMontagne at the lovely Tampa Theatre. The rock show crowds here are definitely, um, less inhibited than from whence we came. Trashier? Drunker? Jesse says "At least they dance."
Some photos: Beach camping with clams and The Heart Gallery event
Coach Varlas came to visit us in Florida. I figured she'd judge her short gaycay a success if we could maximize the outdoors while minimizing snakes. So we camped at the beach, went kayaking, and then, as a surprise, we threw in some bonus manatees. Here are some photos from her visit confirming that we did eat clams in the dark.
Sporting her new tie-dye
Yesterday my sister (and her coworkers and friends) pulled off another great event. Jess was a superstar. And AJ made some sweet videos, Chez made some delicious eats, and buddy Dan W. made some nice photos. You might notice, as Bob just did, the irony of Florida's gay adoption ban.
We refused to all look at the camera at the same time
Sorry I've been kinda MIA. I need to spend some time doing other things. Thanks for checking in. Love.
Good morning friends and lurkers. I hope you all enjoyed your day of celebrating the Earth. Yesterday I bounced my hooptie over the bridge to Tampa to attend an Urban Gardening summit at Inkwood Books. I was listening to my friend Tess's old mix, "Good Folk," when this song came on that a) is so deeply dorky I'm embarassed to ever let anyone hear it, and b) makes me tear up not just everytime I hear the song, but everytime they sing the chorus. So, with these mixed feelings here is Gentle Arms Of Eden by Tracy Grammer & Dave Carter. If you'd like even more of it, here's the painfully sincere video.
Moving on, you guys need to stop being such pussies. If you eat pork, you should know that it comes from pigs, and that pigs have heads. If you eschew hot dogs and ham sandwiches, you might still possess natural curiosity about the biological and culinary travesties of the world. Like watching the pornography of a different kind of pervert, or like babysitting, or finding yourself in church one day, it's edifying to observe how the other people live. Some of them have children. Some of them have poop fetishes. And some of them are badass enough to prepare the head that had to be lopped off to make your bacon.
I'd like to thank everyone who sent me alternative content to move the pig off the page; trust me, I have plenty of non-head material to post tomorrow!
From: Dan
Subject: Re: Headcheese / Pig's Head Photos Part I
While I was going through the whole process, two things went through my mind:
I'll put together part two as well. Post what you will.
Your Florida pics are great — it looks like y'all are having fun running in the sun...
Dan
Headcheese Part II
From: Dan
Hey folks!
When we last left the pig's head, it was sitting in a cute-but-disturbing fashion in a stock pot, kind of like Bugs Bunny, if Bugs Bunny had been split lengthwise.
Obligatory DC-related joke: it's highly likely that you'd rather watch legislation being made.
Here's the rest of the series:
After a couple of hours of cooking, the skull started to split apart. In order to make sure the nose "meat" cooked properly, I cut it off and dropped it into the pot. This revealed a set of British-looking teeth, which are clearly visible below.
Fast forward several hours, and you've got a fully boiled pig's head. Here's what several hours of boiling did to our pig's good looks.
The meat above was then removed (passive voice), cubed, and put into my disposable tupperware as a sort of poor man's terrine.
When it's all said and done, this is what's left of the skull. I could have been more complete about the flesh removal, but I sort of lost patience at 2:30 am. Please don't think less of me for leaving meat on the bone.
Hi! Because I advocate a mostly-vegetarian diet, and because I think Dan is the greatest, today's post will be about Dan's Headcheese. He was brave enough to make it, but too cowardly / discerning to post it publicly, which is where Heck's Kitchen comes in. As Chez said, "Damn, Dan is hardcore!"
Headcheese / Pig's Head Photos Part I (Warning: Graphic Photo Essay)
From: Dan
Hey folks,
I'm attaching these over email because I don't have the guts / temerity to post them to facebook or flickr. They don't, after all, call it "pigface book", do they?
Anyway, I'm working off of Fergus Henderson's recipe, which calls for a "1 pig's head, thoroughly rinsed." Basically, you boil it for a bunch of hours, shred the face meat, cover it with the gelatin-broth you just made (he calls it "liquor"), and then let it firm up in the fridge. The Templeman's scored me a pig's head at the DuPont Farmer's Market, because they've got it like that. Thanks Templemans! Unlike the one that they scored for themselves, this one was, thankfully, already shaved and cleaned, reducing both my prep time and my upcoming nightmares considerably.
So, without further ado, photos:
First up is mise-en-place. You've got a pig's head, some trotters, onions, celery, carrots, garlic, lemon, and some herbs.
As part of the cleaning process, they split the head. Here's half of the head sitting up.
Here's the "thoroughly rinsed" part.
And finally, here it is in the stock pot. I was concerned that the pot might not be wide enough, but as it turns out it's not quite deep enough. Who knew! As a result, the snout sticks out to remind me of the terrible thing I'm doing.
Will you soon be working from home? Your life is about to get awesome.
Unlike an artist, self-employed, or unemployed person, you are working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living. Yours is not the burden of creating a schedule, nor honing this skill they call "self-discipline." All you have to do is turn on your machine at 9 o'clock and leave it on until your proscribed COB. Now you don't have to commute, make chitchat with weirdos, or get dressed. Now you don't have to find a reasonably clean park bench on which to siesta; in inclement weather, you needn't crawl under your desk for a catnap.
Now, I know you, Bob, don't sleep during the workday, and I'm aware that you relish talking to the Mormons and bridezillas that have populated Office I Have Known You In. I suspect you enjoy the anonymous company of the stinky masses on the subways, otherwise you wouldn't live in New York City. I know you like the cameraderie of the rabble taking smoke breaks on the stoops and sidewalks, otherwise you wouldn't have sex with them. I know you don't garden, or ride a bicycle, or run unless you are being chased. In other words, our ideas of what constitues a nice day are so different that I'm having trouble with this guide. Let's try a diagram.
That didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but as you can see Bob, working from home will open a world of opportunities for you, like a noticeable lessening of harrassment by the deranged; a smaller daily sum of pigeons, alive or dead, that so oddly bother you; more afternoon delights, solo or with friends you find on Craigslist, and more fun at tax time.
Now it's noon, and time for me to get dressed and go for a run. Good luck adapting to your new life, and remember, don't do drugs on the clock.
Seriously though, you should probably go work from a coffeeshop a couple times a week.
Tomorrow is my sister Mandy's 23rd birthday. Hopefully Onstad believes reposting is the sincerest form of flattery.
HK Musical Review, by Tess in Portland, OR
"Chris Pureka absolutely rocked. Me, Art & about 200 lesbians & 6 gay men were riveted despite a start time way past my bedtime. She is going to go far."
There's nothing new under the sun, but there's plenty of old stuff, and if you buy that stuff, it's gonna come to own you. I know we've been over this before, but sometimes you have to have another harrowing and expensive experience to remind yourself that your goddamn stuff is more trouble than it's worth.
Look at the pretty, impractical vehicles that we drove to the beach. They very nearly left us there, too. The car is acting like it's got hydraulics the way it's jumping at the lights, and the bike's got all kinds of surprises, the latest of which is a refusal to upshift.
But whatever, the beach is nice. And I got an antique plate for the bike, which hopefully will inspire some sympathy from the cars stuck behind me when I'm stalling out at every light.
Speaking of money-pits and the people who occassionally get to enjoy them, I give you this pic message from Bova, "First day on the water. Yay!" (That's Ohio water, btw.)
PS. Is there something going on with teabagging pirates? It's so hard to keep up with the news down here. Paper's all philandering ministers, 12-car pileups, and giant snakes terrorizing old people and their small dogs.
I'll attempt to ride Goldie to Fort de Soto Park after work. It's only 16 miles, but there'll be rush hour traffic, some gusty bridges, including a draw bridge, a toll road, and me, a motorcyclist not bursting with confidence.
Yesterday, after Easter lunch hosted by the little Hurleys (Mandy and AJ), and during the group Easter stroll about the neighborhood, Nathalia found a part-petrified fish. I brought it home.
We spent the weekend hosting some family. Here are brother and sister Assad:
Today I got an email from one Sage Tyrtle, a Torontonian (you can tell by the way she spells "dramatising"). She and her minions create and perform these great audio pieces for her site, QN Podcast. She says, "Hi Jenny, I wrote you ages ago to say thank you for all your Romance Comic scans, as I'd created an audioplay dramatising the most appalling of them *grin* — it's finally up." 
by Tracy Grammer & Dave Carter. If you'd like even more of it, 
