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11.28.03
Good morning shoppers! Happy Black Friday. Here's
some kitten porn to soothe your weary, consuming soul. You've seen
it before, but a mysterious person "S" just posted it.
From the Morning News: Thriller.
"The allegations have set a fire in the media and a guilty verdict in
the public's mind. But the reason anyone cares at all in the first place
is the music. Writer and once-Michael Sarah Hepola recalls what his landmark
album means to her."
Guitarded:
Mp3s of guys making guitar sounds with their mouths.
Remember, as a great man once said yesterday, "How do you hold a cloud
and pin it down? You can't chart the movements of a unicorn, yo."
11.27.03
Happy Thanksgiving! We're off to the nursing home for a noon dinner.
11.26.03
Good morning, bloody yanks! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
From coast to coast, Republicans are taking money from the poor and elderly,
sending jobs overseas, encouraging massive, wage- and infrastructure killing
immigration, and running over puppies with their Hummers. Yes, you heard
it here first. If you gave a Republican a sack full of kittens he'd pop
their little heads off, litter them on the ground, suck out the marrow,
and shiv a fag with a rib. If he were a Compassionate Conservative he
would then donate the skins to the homeless. Let them wear furs!
 WENDY
(wd31) D. writes,
ps
i overheard an outrageous father/daughter conversation over dinner last
night. poor dave - i was terrible company cause i was so busy being nosy.
okay, so i heard the daughter (18ish?) telling dad in all seriousness
that this guy she knows who smokes pot? his knuckles turned brown. because
of the excessive weed smoking. so i hear the dad hemming and hawing and
he's finally got to set her straight. so, he goes, i've been smoking weed
for years. no way, says miss priss doesn't know shit but likes to talk
like she does cause she's 18. yeah, says dad, just last sat. night before
i watched the three stooges.
WHAT A SLICE OF LIFE!
thanks, wd. and now, pictures! Oh, first, Musto on
Michael Jackson. As you all know, it's me and Liz Taylor against the
world when it comes to Jacko, and boy am I tired of being asked for an
interview every time I turn around. Here's Musto: "Rude comments
about the state of Michael Jackson's face don't exactly raise the level
of discourse, but come on, when that mug shot hit the news, you had to
stop and shriek a little...But wait a Neverland minute! We need to separate
the blusher from the bullshit. I'm terrified that we may be turning into
a tabloid version of Brandon Teena's lynchers, making merciless fun of
any celebrity's gender nonconformity or fashion extremism."
And now, a little NYC photo album, care of Katie, Troy and Debs.
Three badass mother*honk*ers
Jaime and a Pig
Can you guess whose ass?
Upper
Arlington Golden Bears, Class of '91 (thanks, Debcentral!)
Last but not least, my house party is Saturday night, at the Emerald
Caverns. For directions and a shopping list, contact Chairman Meow.
11.25.03
What a shitty day. Also, it's cold. I just ripped my contact lens in half,
so now I'm stuck at work, half-blind and grumpy. Jacob got me a gift subscription
to Playboy, though, so that is the blessing I'll count today. Thanks,
Santa Wascalus.
From Professor Sallypants, NEW
JEAN TEASDALE, fucking finally, says she.
This here's my contribution: The
Museum of Anti-Alcohol Posters. In related news, Rhinestone
Cowboy in Drunk Hit and Run (Bob). Make sure you read the last sentence.
Last Plane to
Jakarta has a new format for me to steal, and dude finally wrote about
Hail to the Thief, which is fine by me, because I haven't even gotten
to hear it yet. Oh, and John and Lalitree say,
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat/please don’t kill
and eat him, he’s a real nice goose
Shalini was kind and sent stuff yesterday. Thusly I give you Shalini's
linkdump, unadulterated. "just because you asked ;) also, i should
mention that all of those are from metafilter," she says. 
Could
I Get That Song in Elvis, Please?
The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette
City
hopes talking trash cans will discourage litter
An
Empire Built on Bargains Remakes the Working World (cpunks/cpunks
user/pw)
Subversive Crossstitch
The Opus interview
What Should
I Do If The Internet Goes Down?
NGA Collage
Machine
BBC 50 Places to
See before You Die
What Part
of No Do You Still Not Understand?
Oh, and Columbia Heights is getting its own Guardian Angels. That's pretty
cool.
These pics are from friend Deb D's trip to Oaxaca for the Day of the
Dead. More or less. I accidentally deleted all the captions and contextual
information...let's see...this is the side of Diego Rivera's and Frida
Kahlo's house, though.
11.24.03
Don't know if I'll be able to update today. Send stuff, ok?
One of my friends in New York, Charles (Chas) Wilkin, is a graphic designer,
and he's interviewed in Metropolis magazine this month. Scrap
Book: Collages by Charles Wilkin. And here is his site: Automatic
Art And Design.
From Ms. Caryn -
this shit is going on in baltimore at the otto bar. check it:
Tuesday February 3rd
Suicidegirls LIVE Burlesque Tour
(presented by suicidegirls, pitchfork,
and buddyhead)
Sooo....the Sniper got the death penalty, the 'Skins lost again, Neverland
is crumbling, and the
Village Voice canned its sports section. Basically, nothing good is
going on in the world, except for the global warming that's keeping things
balmy, right up to Thanksgiving week. Got more good news? Please send
it in. Love J.
 11.20.03
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the transcendent MS. LAURA MARCUS! Pictured. Laura's
interests include: Make-up, crafts, soccer, peppermint patties, rats,
Tetris, and jennymiller.com. Drop the Young Ms. a birthday hello.
Speaking of Fine ladies, another sent a missive today, thanking ME for
linking to her site, rachelkramerbussel.com.
Sweet.
And....New York's youngest, most obscure Grande Dame in
now a licensed driver!
I almost forgot, live from London, Briton, candidate, and HK friend
Random reports on
the Dubya lovefest.
Oh, AND you really should go over to Shaliniland
and read about her evening at the karaoke bar.
Finally, I may be of a certain age, but these are the sorts of people
with whom I live, doing the sorts of things that happen in our home. Love,
jm
11.19.03
Good afternoon ELITE CLUB OF ACQUAINTANCES.
I'm busy. But, Matt Cowal sent the Texas Department of Criminal Justice
Final Meal Requests.
Excellent! Deb D. (and others) sent the Bush pants
on fire doll. From Jill M., The
Museum of Menstruation. Oh, here's something I can't go to, BUT YOU
SHOULD! Ahhh! Mirah and The Blow. The $1,000,000 question:
where are you going to be on saturday night, nov 22nd?
a. watching Tupac: Ressurrected
b. reading Pride and Prejudice aloud to your dog/cat/houseplant
c. listening to Mirah play at Shiloh's house
The correct answer is C!!! Go watch Tupac tonight so that you have Saturday
free to come see one of my favorite musicians play at my very own house!
$5 to get in. The show starts at 9pm. Go to morninglightrecords.com
for the details. There are 2 other bands playing, the Blow and Anna Oxygen.
And from sallypants:
11.18.03
Good Morning Alcoholics! Why, it is such a beautifully sinister day outside!
I love how the Washington Times' big headline this morning is "Massachusetts
OKs 'Gay Marriage'" emphasis on the little quoties. Bwahahahaha! The perverts
shall inherit what's left of the earth! 
But I think the reason DC's mood is so darkly lovely today is that George
W. Bush is far away! In the United Kingdom of Bush-loathing. Maybe he
won't return. Maybe he'll decide the life of the expat is good, and he'll
wile away his days entertaining cafe folk with tales of his Glory Days
of Crusading Against Everything You Love and Cherish. I think this Briton
would like to keep our little lunatic: 2:17
pm - Black humour as a pressure relief. "I need to let off some steam
or I might attack the television set."
Debs finally posted, and it's more than worth the effort of a click:
Where I've Been.
Attention Shoppers - From IWantOneofThose.com, and Random
of Mother England: The
L39 Jet. Yours for $338,598.31. From McSweeney's, by way of kottke,
The Dick and
Jane Reader for Advanced Students. Speaking of getting rid of Bush,
here's a Map
of the US showing who's donating to which party for the 2004 Election.
Chairman Meow wants to bring back the music section, so I'm going
to start with a song by Ballentine, who happen to be made up of housemates
and friends who won't sue me. Are
You Still on the Line is a really pretty number. You can find the
rest, here. Feeling guilty
about all your ill-begotten mp3s? Send them back! At sendthemback.org.
It's not a joke - it's brought to you by Parents and Their Kids against
Stealing™. No shit.
 In
other news, I would never write PARIS HILTON SEX VIDEO just to get more
hits. Even though I've seen the Paris Hilton Home Video Porn Movie a few
times is no reason to fill this space with references to free paris hilton
sex videotape references. I wouldn't do that. Also, last night, because
of my youthful housemates, I found myself watching the Britney Spears
E! True Hollywood Story, and while it did not contain FREE NAKED BRITNEY
SPEARS PICS, it did persuade me, for the first time ever, that she's not
bad. Anyway, check out the Britney
Spears' Guide to Semiconductor Physics. See also, Britney's
Wax Statue At Madame Tussaud's and the
Esquire pictures. (warning: not for at work) (unless you work at that
kind of place).
Lost son Brian J. Eskridge reports from a Seattle spro spot.
Subject: spotted in seattle
one very tall man with huge blonde mullet, ass-hugging levis and overly
large white high-tops. parked his 74 dodge pickup (with "got poi,"
and "drum circles save souls" bumber stickers) in the middle
of the street to dash into a local espresso joint and grab a hot joe.
bounced back into his rig while dailing a cell phone and laid some rubber
to punctuate his exit.
vrooom, vrooom! i love this town!
11.18.03
Good day, loved ones and strangers. Once again, the guy in the cube next
to me is clipping his nails. I can hear it over my KEXP stream. He must
have extra digits or limbs, for the frequency and length of this singularly
irritating grooming habit. STOP IT! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
On the other end of the scale are my housemates, who rule, because every
party they throw or attend becomes a dance party. Oh, they have other
good qualitites, but I'm too lazy to name them. But here's something cute:
Bears Will Attack,
the halfassed protoblog occasionally attended to by Mr. Brian Minter,
who noticed that my Hot Wheels pajamas are cool, which is obvious, but
still.
Should My Loved One Be Placed
in an Assisted Computing Facility? Deb D. From Ranger Ted: A
Case of Curiosities, your source for artful taxidermy of found animals.
And, Skulls Unlimited: The
World's Leading Supplier of Osteological Specimens.
What Do You Think? The
Anti-Abortion Campaign. This is surprising: Teenager
soccer phenom Freddy Adu will play next season for D.C. United. And,
Massachusetts Court: State Wrong to Ban Gay Marriage.
THE SCROLLING PI: The Yankee
Pot Roast Math Club's presentation of Pi to a zillion places. Can
you believe jaimehotdish has this tattoo?
11.17.03
Photoshop Challenge, forwarded by Bova - this is from my friend Pohaku:
Let's have a George W. Bush Photoshop contest. Here
is a link to a hi res picture of our president. Do your best work
and email it to me at poewing @ yahoo.com. My staff will pick a winner
dec 15.
Foodies, #1: The other night Nick and Sarah had a large and successful
housewarming party. A guest of this party told a story claiming nutrias,
the beaver-like imports destroying Louisiana, were created by gene-splicing.
Ranger Ted, present for this story, was so thoughtful as to not contradict
the teller, which is one big way Ranger Ted and I are unalike. Today he
sets the record straight: 
Nutria is Louisiana's
Newest Culinary Hit!
Nutrias: The Louisiana Department
of Wildlife and Fisheries
Foodies #2, from Jill: Due to the success of my first recipe I've decided
to send in another one. When I typed "tart" into Google images, these
are the pictures I got. This recipe
seems like a lot of work, and it is, but it's actually pretty fun
to make if you have plenty of time. j
Foodies #3, from RT: The Meatrix.
Awesome.
Foodies #4: The story of what happened outside The City Paper last week,
starring a hawk, a pigeon, and an SUV. Dave D. passed on the stills someone
got from, Parking
Lot Mayhem.
So, I am sick, which sucks, because I have to work and I've no energy
nor time to regale you with amazing tales of my productive weekend. Thanks
for sending stuff in, people. This here's from Underblog:
11.15.03
Go Bucks. Courtney,
Whitney, Rush - by Queen Cho. A
quick history of Bill Gates with amusing old computer pictures. How
to Talk to Your Kids About the Paris Hilton Sex Video, by BobFromAccounting.
11.14.03
TODAY we celebrate two very special birthdays! Mr. Brian Kall of
Philadelphia, and Ms. Deb Schwartz of Manhattan! WOOHOO!
Brian can be seen in this photo, celebrating his last birthday. A few
weeks ago Brian sent me a charming review he'd written of the new Holly
Golightly album, which I promptly lost. Don't let that dissuade you, dear
reader, from submitting original or plagarized work for consideration
for this unpublication. Usually I don't lose things. Except for my wallet.
And my will to live. Just kidding. I go on living just to see what Deb
Schwartz might post on the great Debcentral. Spanks for the memories,
Deb!
1.) Deb Schwartz
Interviews Herself - An Exclusive Interview with the Sweetheart of
Post Modernity 
2.) Deb Schwartz
Interviews Herself - Sunnyside's Post Modern Diva Grants DEBCENTRAL.COM
a Second Interview
3.) Deb Schwartz
Interviews Herself - Debcentral Dishes Dirt on New York's Youngest,
Most Obscure Grande Dame
4.) Deb
Schwartz - The Heck's Kitchen Meta Interview
So, I know you want an exciting update full of my unique thoughts
and visionary ideas, but, my boss knows I'm doing this instead of what
I'm supposed to be doing - luckily, she's moving to New Orleans soon.
No, I'll miss her and her boy Jacob, who taught me to play nine ball last
night. They are so nice. They even brought the pizza. So lastly for now...
From Ranger Ted: A Fijian warrior holds a traditional war axe during
a ceremony of apology for British missionary Rev. Thomas Baker, who was
eaten in 1867, in Nabutautau, Fiji. Descendants of Rev. Baker attended
the ceremony in the remote community high in the hills of the South Pacific
island of Viti Levu, where the residents say their community has been
cursed since Baker and eight Fijian followers were consumed 136 years
ago. (AP Photo/Samisoni Pareti) (November 13, 2003)
11.13.03
IT'S MULTIMEDIA DAY! But first, some shout outs are due. 
1.) Happy belated birthdays to engaged uber-cuties Shauna Miller and
Matt Cowal. What an oversight on my part, indeed. They each have reached
some lower-20s age that is too young for me to remember. Congratulations
to both of you, and Matt, thanks for getting my beer last night, and Shauna,
your bachelorette party is going to be the raunchiest that ever was.
2.) Happy 10th Anniversary to Underblog/Eric and Peeping Polly/Biting
Shrew/Jill! Famous in their own rights, they are also frequent zonkboard
loiterers/participants. Drop by on the right and express your amazement
at a decade of successful legal partnership.
3.) Bob, that was funny how you swept my hair off your floor from when
I got a haircut in your bedroom at your party and I didn't clean it up
and you were mad at me but I ignored you and then how you secreted the
yucky collected ball of hair into my bag last night for me to discover
on my ride home. You are a funny, vengeful man.
And now, don your cans and get ready for a VIDEO EXTRAVAGANZA!
These two are from Haypenny, by way, again, of The City of Floating Blogs:
WWII
Propaganda Film, and A
Public Service Announcement
From The Great Shalini: "before dave and lanette left for peru, we had
a few interesting nights at the kitchen table. discussion topics covered
morality, sex, property values, travels, death, cartoons of days past,
beer, siblings, stamp collecting, music and our own impending demise.
also, we watched some beetles make out. watch
the full video complete with director's commentary."
The World Famous: Chin2.mpeg.
"Whether you like the half nude Korean boys or you love the song, it just
doesn't stop playing. I, myself, just love the song. It's so zany! The
dancing is hilarious too." From CHIN2
- Oh how we love chin2.mpeg.
Some Stuff By This Guy JOSH ABRAHAM:
1.) Crayola
Crayons Included in its New Hollywood Box
b.) Some
Things I Will Try to Cleverly Work into Flirtatious Conversation, Should
I Ever Get the Chance to Speak with Beyonce Knowles
3.) The Second Worst Thing
About Hitler
Last and Least, Random Items: World's
Oldest Person Dies, (cofb). A
Guide to Dealing with the End of Friends (not ironic), via
the morning news. Old Standby, New Onion.
11.12.03
Hate Minister
Plans Monument Denouncing Matthew Shepard. (deb d.) Come see! the
"Monument dedicated to Matthew Shepard's Entry
Into Hell, which WBC intends to erect in Casper City Park as a solemn
Memorial that God Hates Fags & Fag-Enablers" at godhatesfags.com.
The Westboro Baptist Church is a prestigious outfit, run by a man who
should not be mistaken for a funny little closet fairy whose ass is begging
for some BIG GIANT COCK. He's a master picket organizer though, I gotta
hand it to him: "WBC to picket fag-enabler Hillary Clinton and the 9 fag-pandering
pervert dwarfs and the Iowa Gay & Lesbian Coalition masquerading as the
Iowa Democratic Party, at their Jefferson-Jackson Day Dinner - Nov. 15,
Veterans' Memorial Auditorium, Des Moines." YOU GO GIRL!
Andy Earles says, "there's
a new Sheriff in town. These things are in every Tigermart in Memphis:
Sheriff Blaylock's Double
Barrel Dispensing Machine. 'He's got you covered.' Uh oh.....a scandal:
Botulism Link Prompts
TDH to Warn Consumers Not to Eat Sheriff Blaylock's Chili." 
Speaking of Mr. Earles, he's got this on McSweeney's: COMMENTS
MY FATHER MADE TO THE TV.
Funny portrait of Dubya on the cover of the Nation: go
deep, from (dave e). Have
you seen Average Joe? Yeah, it sucks. Read this
chick Lindsay's bit on it. The
25 Most Provocative Questions Facing Science, from Matthew Tobey's
The City of Floating Blogs.
All for now. Love, Jenny "Wanna hear about the dream I had last
night?" Miller, Esq.
11.11.03
From: Ms. Jill McElmurry
Subject: in honor of winter coats
Message: You asked for it: Here's
an easy good-tasting recipe for vegetarian Black Bean and Chipotle
Soup that I make all the time.
Selected recent searches hitting Heck's Kitchen: jon gruden sexy pictures,
im sofa king we taught it, masturbation tips, legal things, officebots
for sale, miss saturn hula hoop, escort screening clients, 18th centry
exchange rate, rodeo cowboys deaf, ipod innards, wnba fanfiction, aliens
in the usa, escort screening clients, little lesbians, 1500 word report
written on the book titled malcolm x speaks, kucinich and toupee, uncle
ira singing, whiskey rebellion, and...the usual dozen abby wambach lesbian?
and thanks to Rich
Girls for many variations on jaime
gleicher ass pics.
Funny, from Haypenny: The
Unrelenting March of Reality TV Programming into the Infinite: A Preview
of the 2004 Reality TV Lineup. Also funny, also from Haypenny: Dale
Peck Reviews His Day.
Personality Tests,
from SimilarMinds.com, by way of TelevisionSolarSystem.
See also, The Life and Times
of DeckieHolmes - "Array of Shitty Musicians Honor Non-Shitty Dead
Musician."
Attention Loyal Readers and Others: Chairman Meow has gotten her arm
stuck under a boulder and won't be able to update until she's chewed herself
free. Meanwhile, it's your chance to shine. Send me stuff and I will post
it. Thanks.
11.10.03
Welcome to the first day of Winter Coats. What an interesting weekend
it was. For example, it has been revealed that Lance
Armstrong and Sheryl Crow are an item! Ew! In other news, the Bush
Admnistration is still evil. Also, if you saw Wet Hot American Summer,
you might enjoy kittenpants' Award
Winning Costume. Now, go rent The
Atomic Cafe, brought to my attention by sallypants, inc.
Shoot, I'm back on the 'Skins bandwagon. After listening to a nation
of meanies gleefully punch on our team all week, it was pretty satisfying
to see  Spurrier
and Company come up with a good win - looking somewhat unlike themselves,
with minimal penalties, no sacks on Ramsey, a decent pass rush, a gutsy
go-for-it call, and a trick play for the winning TD. Take that Cris Collinsworth.
Steve
Spurrier is as risky and unpredictable as a lottery ticket, Thomas
Boswell. Frustratingly inconsistent Lesberado tennis player Amelie Mauresmo
upset No. 1 Justine
Henin-Hardenne to make the WTA final. Here's an internet translation
of Amelie's most recent journal entry:
"Good day to all and to all! Désolee for this long absence… I will try
to recover me during my stay to Los Angeles for the end Masters of year.
But, before all, a small summary of this that it happened during these
three last weeks. After my defaite against Schnyder for my first turn
to Zurich while doing a non-game j’ai decided of not to cut. That would
have nevertheless being the case if tournament itself more better had
passed. I have therefore continued to train me and in the days that followed,
decided j’ai to go to Philadelphia... That appeared for me to be the best
possible preparation before going to the Masters. Ap PUBLICITE rès a tournament
beginning rather laborious, I ended up climbing in power on the two last
matches with notably this half one against Sugiyama and this unbelievable
comeback. I arrive therefore a lot of confidence here in California while
being anxious to begin. I will not await very a long time since I will
open the hostilities against Rubin as early as Wednesday, 18 hours for
me (three hours in the morning French hour in the Wednesday night to Thursday).
I hope that you will follow that closely! This new formula of hens
puts hot pepper to the competition. To me to pull my pin of the game...
To soon for new others… Ciao, Amelie."
No
women in this picture - kottke. List
of Organizations, People, and Anthropomorphic Endangered Species That,
for Funds-Soliciting Purposes, Purchased My Closely Held New Mailing Address
from the ACLU, Which I Recently Joined, Ironically, to Support Privacy
Rights, McSweeney's/kottke. Zulkey's guest diarist Amy Blair: "Why
I Get Out Of Bed And Go To Work Every Morning."
11.07.03
PARTIES * PARTIES * PARTIES * PARTIES * PARTIES *
PARTIES * PARTIES
Bob's and Caryn's Party Reminder: TONIGHT!
So what do ten-bazillion twinkling lights, beautiful fall-colored ivy,
cacti, bikers, bouncers, billionaire playboys, the beautiful people, sex,
drugs, rock n'roll, one dead sexy DJ, Brian Eskridge, copious amounts
of alcohol, and a giant glowing robot have in common? Most of them will
be at our party on Friday!
That's right motherfuckers, here's a little reminder:
Friday, november 7, from around 11 pm til the newspaper smacks the stoop.
1948 3rd st NW apt #3, washington dc 20001.
caryn and bob's apt. For more info, call 202.210.3450.
If you wanna bring more booze, it WILL get drunk. Please forward this
message on to all the other pretty people. See you then, sugar.
SOMEBODY'S TURNING OLDER
Get Out of Jail Free Birthday Party
If 26 is a prison, then Deb is set to be released on November 14th, 2003.
Soon Deb Schwartz will be turning 27. And soon, her uncle may be turned
loose from the mental institution. Since Deb & Brian are currently
living in his apartment, they will soon be moving.
Come help Deb and Brian celebrate the brief and fickle nature of life
and the grayer areas of sanity. We will accomplish together what we could
never do alone. . . .
WHO: Why, Birthday-Girl-Deb, of course.
WHAT: Get Out of Jail Free Birthday Party
WHERE: Uncle Ira's digs (*** East 86th Street, Apt. **)
WHEN: Friday, November 14th (Doors open @ 8pm)
WHY: Because life is short and the drink is tasty
HOW: Just go to http://debcentral.com/education/ed.images/getoutofjail/.
Print out the card and show it at the door. If you like booze, then bring
booze. If you like chips, then bring chips. If you like crack, knife fights,
and rabid pigeons, then this may not be the party for you.
for more information or to rsvp email contact@debcentral.com
FROM SARAH: THE RETURN OF GAME NIGHT
That's right ladies and gents! The Original GAME NIGHT. It's back.
This Saturday from 5 o'clock until the stroke of mysterious triple question
mark, 1908 6th Street is open for gaming. And now the stakes are higher,
cause momma's got a pool table.
As always, The Original GAME NIGHT will feature: Scrabble, Booze, Trivial
Pursuit, Heartthrob, Indoor Smoking, Battleship, Naked People, Twister,
Girl Talk, Taboo, Mad Libs, Pictionary, Beer, Ultimate Survival Game,
Life, and much more! And you best believe the Puzzle Table will be in
full effect, dawg!
New Editions: Pretty, Pretty Princesses, The Babysitters Club Game, Other
Weird Games people unloaded on us, and a fatherf*cking pool table!
How could you possibly resist stopping by before heading on to bigger
and better Saturday night plans? You just couldn't. So bring beer, snack,
or just your own cute self over to 1908 6th Street around 5pm THIS Saturday!
11.06.03
Today is Other Sites Have Good Stuff Day.
Queen Margaret Cho
All kottke:
The Morning News
Haypenny
Ms. Claire Zulkey
11.05.03
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
J. SHAFFER! Friend, housemate, boss,
lover, Jaime is all these things to me, except for that last one. And
today marks her successful completion of 26 solar orbits. Way to go, spacebot!
Tell Us the Truth
Tour, coming soon to a metropolis near you. Billy Bragg, Steve Earle,
Janeane Garofalo, etc.
This is a pretty hilarious Rush cartoon. Man, that guy sucks. RXush,
from Dunlap, via NORML, by campchaos.com. Also, New VICE!
Uh, once again I don't give a shit about the Reality trend of the moment,
which is, like, wow, Rich People. Last night I was forced to sit through
20 excrutiating minutes of those little idiot princesses and their useless
preening boy toys on Rich Girls. God. Who gives a fuck, and why? SEE them
roll their eyes dramatically! HEAR them mimic humans emoting! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
I'm SAD! I can CRY! You can tell by my revoltingly affected cadence that
everything I say is REALLY IMPORTANT! Hey little Hilfiger, why don't you
fall in front of an Escalade. That would be some Television. Read more
about The Fabulous
Lives of the Hilton Sisters, by Franky Pelvis, at kittenpants.
11.04.03
I think you'll like today's edition. First up, Mr. Bova, live from New
York.
From: bovabova
Subject: I'm gonna make it after all
So, I was jailbait-Martha Stewart for halloween. The costume was definitely
'conceptual' and relied heavily upon personality, which I found to be
in somewhat short supply. But I am writing to tell you about my day.
For reals: Got sideswiped by a woman in a Benz leaving the Holland Tunnel
this morning and we both drove on and laughed. Spent the latter morning
and early afternoon working on 8 different projects on three different
non-networked computers and one $10k digital printer. Took a break on
the beach in asbury park. Went to buy a sandwich from the hot Columbian
guy across the street from the studio--we blew each other in the back
room. He's married. Closed a $30k deal that will net me $2,679 (In February
:( ) Had a drink with my hot boss's, HOT husband at a gay bar filled with
the ugliest gay men I've yet seen. Drove home on the GSP and the NJP,
taking tiny nips from a bottle of cheap bourbon. My goal was not to get
drunk, but merely to toast good fortune. Exit the Turn Pike and, literally,
after searching the car for 20 minutes, handed the toll operator at the
holland tunnel $3.62 and a (semi-broken) CD player for a $6 toll. Came
home to a huge film crew blocking the street(s) 3 blocks from the apt.
and, 20 feet from the set, a randy gang of, again I'm not kidding, black
and latina chicks on crotch rockets. Then a young man with rampant herpes
sores on his mouth and nose made me a fuking delicious personalized tuna-salad
hero for $3.43
Wha? I have few options but limitless possibilities. I love this place.
cheers, B
From Bob, from Craig's List: 
Two-headed woman looking for a good time - w4m
Original
URL
Posted by: anon-18662649@craigslist.org
Posted on: 2003-11-02, 6:35AM
Thats right, we have two heads! So you/we could consider it a threesome.
We have only the one pussy but with our two mouths blowjobs are our speciality.
We need a guy who can handle the pair of us, must be sensitive to the
situation, and not mind us chatting to each other whilst your banging
away.
No picture no reply. 
Good Stuff: Sweet. Catholic-school
girls pummel 'flasher'. Thanks again, Bob. From kittenpants, So
Your Daughter Wants a Boob Job, by J. Daniel Janzen.Tristan Taormino
on porn bloggin: Peek-a-Blog.
Tristan also recommends: Rachel
Kramer Bussel's site is about the world of erotica, covering writing,
publishing and life news of those in the erotica and porn communities.
New Chick Tract: The Sky Lighter. Poor little Abdullah blew himself up for Allah, only to
find, gasp! All Who Follow Islam Will Be Cast Into The Lake Of Fire. Thanks
Jack, you crazy old coot!
Politicking:
The Committee to ReDefeat
Bush, DC launch. When: Tuesday November 4th from starting at 8:00P.
Where: The Spy Lounge, 2406 18th Street, NW, Washington, DC in the heart
of Adams-Morgan. What: This is the first Tuesday Night Democratic Club and
we will drink and watch election returns. Dean
MeetUp, this Wednesday. From the Apollo Alliance: Tell
the Bush Administration to Stop Sweet Deals with Halliburton. And, a
documentary from Move.org: Uncovered:
The Whole Truth About the Iraq War.
11.03.03
 I got nothing today,
but you're still in luck, superluck, because the brand katspankin' new
kittenpants is ready. This
is the way. I did what Ms. Ratliff told me to do, and went to googlism
and googlismed my name. Here is what the internet has to say about Jenny.
Finally, today's special is a kinda creepy confessional site called group
hug. See if you can find bovabova's.
jenny is having a baby
jenny is a very social woman
jenny is 30 years old
jenny is famous
jenny is a bonehead
jenny is red hot
jenny is the best
jenny is letting me post
jenny is paying for those credit card charges
jenny is waiting topless no more holes to fill on this hot slut
jenny is stalked mercilessly
jenny is queen of earth
jenny is waiting topless sports wagers
jenny is perplexed
jenny is a man
jenny is waiting topless licking lezzies titty
jenny is pierced and tattooed
jenny is a real inspiration
jenny is sooooooo cute
jenny is located within the depth contour marked on this map as "submerged
volcano"
jenny is a high school girl of 17
jenny is my younger sister and we both love to tell funny stories about
us
jenny is not liable for orders that are unfulfilled due to incomplete
or inaccurate information being supplied by a business or individual
jenny is on tour with la trumpet player rob slowik and the big apple circus
jenny is too ethereal
jenny is located in the beautiful resort of vlycha
jenny is a pro and she never lets the jeering of her male competitors
get her down
jenny is a mystery character
jenny is the admissions secretary dealing with all matters relating to
admissions in the school except those pertaining to museology
jenny is the daughter of an alcoholic; she has been surrounded by alcoholic
adults all of her life
jenny is still 100% engrafted
jenny is a grey tabby cat with stripes so modified that most of her coat
looks brindled
jenny is as normal as any ordinary youth is
jenny is one of the most famous airplanes of the world war i and barnstorming
eras
jenny is our foster child since december 2000
jenny is a lovely spot for a naturist holiday
jenny is an exceptional gymnast
jenny is a favorite of our visitors
jenny is currently studying towards a msc degree looking at reproductive
success of african penguins
jenny is a strong girl
jenny is painting a complete painting
jenny is looked after by an elderly neighbour
jenny is currently doing for you in parliament
jenny is poisoned by a poison cloud
jenny is one of the best bitches i own
jenny is awakened when her computer notes that it has lost the signal
from the cicada
jenny is at the moment my favorite jenny
jenny is a prolific tune writer
jenny is a psychologist and morgan has asked her to go down to the black
jaguar squadron near machu picchu
jenny is always ready with a word of encouragement for lenny
jenny is a chatterbox who never seems to run out of amusing things to
say
jenny is a veteran stage performer
jenny is wearing a blue pokka dot dress
jenny is a member of the computer society
jenny is open to freelancing
jenny is a great friend of the family
jenny is going through her daily routine of yoga practice
jenny is an austin resident living in the travis country subdivision
jenny is a character who'll speak her mind and can take control of a situation
jenny is a necro saturday night
jenny is a second year just for kix staff member and has been dancing
for over 15 years
jenny is the prize he's stalked for years
jenny is a drama by michael thomas tower
jenny is tied up and gagged in a very short tight skirt and tight top
jenny is featured very often in people magazine; jenny is also featured
in almost every issue of entertainment weekly
jenny is her hero
jenny is married to johan tham
jenny is an urban legend
jenny is black and superstacked
jenny is also a very active member of phi theta kappa
jenny is a loner who thinks kids are barely half human
jenny is neurologically ok
 10.31.03
All Sports and Pictures, for Halloween. Yay!
James
is good! And everyone's happy. Cleveland's not winning, but who cares.
He's putting up numbers, with style, sharing the ball, with style, saying
all the right things, and with a smile on his face. Here's a rhetorical
question: When your potential is unlimited, can you ever really succeed?
Like everyone and his mother, I have hopes for LeBron. I hope, for example,
he stays happy and never endorses a Republican candidate. But our hopes
are nothing compared to those of Nike and Coke, Cleveland and the NBA,
to name just a few minor institutions with a whole lot invested in a kid.
Speaking of, can competing be fun when failure is not an option: Rushin,
on schadenfreude and the vanquished Boss's bores - The
Fish That Ate Gotham. And...The queen of drag racing hangs 'em up:
In three
weeks, a legend exits.
Happy Halloween! Love, scary dead corn lady.
10.30.03
Eyes
Wide Shut: The Bush illogic continues: the worse things get in Iraq,
the better news it is. Maureen Dowd, from Bob.
Cho's blog: So Fucking
Typical. And, Lily
Tomlin won the Mark Twain award the other night, and all the cool
kids were there.
The following is a sampling of quotes from the Redskins about newly signed
tackle Darrell Russell, who admitted he filmed two of his friends, both
convicted felons, "having group sex" (Post's words) with Oceania
Vaillancourt, a then-27-year-old Bay Area property manager at the home
of another Raiders player. She said she was drugged and raped, and while
her criminal case was dismissed for insufficient evidence, her civil suit
is still pending.
The spin has just been charming. Like Kobe Bryant, Russell speaks of
his trials and tribulations as if he were the victim, not the creator,
of his own troubles. With these guys, it's always about them, never
the women whose lives they fuck up. Coaches, owners and fans talk about
"giving Darrell a second chance," when in fact this guy has screwed up
over and over. And also like Kobe, you get the impression that his supporters
don't so much believe in his innocence as simply don't really care. And
while I'm briefly on the topic, look, it's obvious Kobe is guilty. An
innocent person would be screaming bloody murder about their innocence
in the face of such a horrible accusation. Also, women don't just throw
rape charges around willy-nilly. This thing will be one, long, ugly character
assasination that will make Bryant's accuser's life hell for at least
a year. So let's just cut the crap. OJ did it, Kobe did it, and Russell,
too repugnant for even the Oakland Raiders for chrissake, will be paid
$780,000 this year to be a fat guy for the Redskins.
"From what I know of him, he's a good guy. He's had some unfortunate
situations, but everyone deserves a second chance." - defensive end
Renaldo Wynn.
"Everybody I talked to said, 'Coach, if we can sign this guy, let's
sign him.' He's never been convicted of anything except having ecstasy
in his system, which got him suspended from the NFL." - Coach Spurrier
"We may take a bad hit P.R.-wise. But he's not been convicted of
the charges made against him. There are a lot of players in this league
who had a lot more serious charges against them than what he had. It's
pretty serious [but] he's not in jail, is he?" - Coach Spurrier
"I don't know Russell, never met him. All I know is that he's one
convincing dude if you just listen to him." - Michael Wilbon
And more Wilbon, making god knows what argument:
Almost everybody who met him found him to be bright, not just smart
but literate, well-rounded, engaging. It appeared early on that he was
a player who in short time would slide into the role of team leader.
So what happened? Well, here's also part of who Russell is: He wanted
to be a baller in the New Jack culture of sports that sucks up so many
talented bright athletes. It was enough for him to "represent"
the flash that symbolizes that culture, and in the process hide or even
deny his intellect and quick wit.
It's a near epidemic in Black America that bright and educated young
men feel somewhere between uncomfortable and ashamed of their academic
and intellectual talents.
Russell is one of the masses who get caught up in this foolishness,
and he wound up paying dire consequences. He put himself in bad situation
after bad situation, thinking it would somehow validate his hipness
or perhaps give him street cred.
Whatever. And finally, Russell on Russell.
Q: What have you learned?
A: I don't really have all day to talk about that, but I've learned enough
to be a great football player and a great person, which I already was
but just improve on that.
Sweet! In good news, the Wizards soundly beat the Bulls last night. It's
so refreshing to be done with Jordan and Collins. Last night UMD's Juan
Dixon, Steve Blake, and Lonny Baxter were all on the same court again,
too. Pretty cool.
10.29.03
A kittenpants halloween story. Subject: People (and boxes) totally
suck.
Um, how is one supposed to get a box from 11th ave and 23rd to 2nd Ave
and 12th? Oh, really? you think so? Wrong. I bought 2 boxes from the Uhaul
place down there, conveniently located across the street from a strip
joint and the West Side highway and wondered briefly if i'd be able to
get a cab home. it didn't occur to me that my new box wouldn't fit in
a cab and that cabs don't stop for ladies with big boxes and that this
total bitch would completely jack my cab in front of me, leaving me there,
holding my box and completely unable to stop her. She will pay. Anyway,
then carrying the box more than 4 steps means dropping the box and then
it's raining and you're hanging out on a street corner with strippers
and hookers (and frankly, what's the difference) and the kind of guys
that pay for strippers and hookers and it's dark out and no one has a
car to come pick you up and all you wanted was the best halloween costume
ever that requires a large box and then finally, when you've called a
friend who has no means of helping you, but you just need someone to think
of something and you are crying hysterically on a street corner at night
by a Dunkin Donuts, a nice cab driver slowly says:
"honey, let me see if we can't get these boxes in my trunk."
And you really want to marry him. SO he puts the boxes in his trunk and
uses an old tshirt to tie the trunk down and you think, "I love you, sir."
and he takes you home in the rain and it's quiet in the car and when you
get home you tip him $15 for saving you from pathetic box despair because
he really really didn't have to help, and he did and how great is he -
the exception to the rule. And then you eat a taco and buy stuff from
a sex store called "the birthday suit" and despite what your mom says,
this will be the best halloween costume ever.
you know, if you read this again, replacing "box' with another word,
like "vagina" or "underpants" this post is a lot funnier. xo, kittenpants
Rank: Sexy
Halloween Costumes, from Zulkey.
Can you match the pumpkin with its ghoul? Ghouls below. I feel a little
sad today. Maybe it's because I'm listening to this sad song, Hummingbird
by Kris Delmhorst. And here's another one: Broken
White Line. Unsad lesbirock by Bitch
and Animal can be found at cdbaby.com.
Contest: Create a TV ad that
tells the truth about George W. Bush. Bush in 30 seconds submissions
will be judged by Eddie Vedder, Margaret Cho, Jack Black, Janeane Garofalo,
and Gus Van Sant. My dream cabinet.
It's hard being famous: Courtney
Love Turns Herself In On Felony Drug Charges. And, Nelly
has $1 million worth of jewelry stolen. And regarding yesterday's
item on the Redskins, the Post reports that Coach Spurrier doesn't want
to sign the rapist, and is in general against employing rapists, but most
Redskins officials feel otherwise. Sally Jenkins on the the "lunatic impatience
and excess" of owner Dan Snyder: Snyder,
Spurrier: Redskins' Men Of the Hours.
Friends of the House, as written up in the Post: The
Carlsonics on Tour, Singing if Not Signing. And here's a funny review
of them at punknews.org.
A band my dad likes: The
Waifs. Writes he: "Hey, Julia found a great new album by a neo-folk
Australian band called The Waifs. It's a sister singer-songwriter team
with a fantastic guitarist behind them. Quirky, punchy and visual writing
propped up by accessible, blues-based acoustic guitar arrangements. And
one of the sisters plays a mean, gut-bucket harmonica. The songs are engaging
and smart, with a smoky groove." Rolling
Stone review.
10.28.03
I hereby declare the end of my Redskins fandom, as they are currently
wooing free agent DT Darrell Russell. "During his suspension, Russell
was charged in January 2002 with drugging a woman with GHB, the so-called
date-rape drug, in San Francisco and then videotaping two friends who
allegedly raped her. But prosecutors eventually dropped the charges against
Russell, citing insufficient evidence." Yay, go 'skins!
World Beard and Moustache
Championships, Carson City, Nevada. Nov. 1. Thanks, Jill.
William Caxton’s
two editions of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, probably printed in 1476 and
1483. Pretty cool - every page scanned...in college I took a class
just on the Canterbury Tales, in Middle English, and you know, they are
bawdy pilgrim stories. Recommended. In other bookish news, Amazon
has an amazing new "search inside the book" engine, which the Author's
Guild is
pretty pissed about. kottke.
 In
NBA, Hype Blows Eternal. More LeBron, by Rachel Nichols.
What's up with Google?
some interesting stuff about the workings of our big encyclopedia.
CREEPY CLOWN
UNDER THE BED'S TELEPATHIC MESSAGE TO CHILD IN BED , AGE FIVE AND A HALF.
McSweeney's.
Millionaire:
I don't recall details of cutting up friend. CNN. "You were drunk
while cutting up Morris Black?" prosecutor Kurt Sistrunk asked. "I
hope so, yes, sir," Durst responded.
And today's special is Paper, from New York. Because they really, really
believe New York is really, really important.
Today's Willie Nelson song: Angel
Flying Too Close to the Ground.
10.27.03
Superchicas - ANCHOR
WOMAN: Tina Fey rewrites late-night comedy, by Virginia Heffernan.
The New Yorker. Peaches
with Cream Gets on Top. Paper.
By
Any Name, Champions. Boswell, Post. Postseason fishwrap.
New
Jersey Couple Held in Abuse; One Son, 19, Weighed 45 Pounds. NYTimes.
The parents who decided to starve some of their kids to death - the best
part of this sicko case? "The evangelical church attended by the Jacksons,
who are born-again Christians, is in Medford, about 20 miles away. Congregation
members said they could not imagine that the Jacksons had starved their
sons. 'There is no way on God's green earth that this happened,' said
Frank Jacobs, 50, a member of the Medford congregation, the Come Alive
New Testament Church, who said he has known the family for 15 years."
Evangelicals. Aren't they charming?
On the Jersey turnpike. By moi. More later.
10.24.03
EXTRA! EXTRA! Special no-frills installment of HK. Zulkey
interviews Reverse Cowgirl. Ranger Ted. Markoff's
Haunted Forest Rules. YOU WILL BE TERRIFIED!
 Lisa
Moscatiello writes: "Hello! This will be a career first. This Sunday
at 8:00 PM on MSNBC, if you happen to be watching the National Geographic
show "Creepy Healers" about leeches and maggots, you'll hear me singing
about four measures over a scene of maggots crawling around and then devouring
a squirrel or something."
The
House of Good Cheer: In Praise of the Tavern, Modern Drunkard, via
Bob. "The perennial comic strip Andy Capp has recently been
banished from the Washington Post as an evil influence, and small wonder."
Jaime and Jacob loved Proof. From the CP:
David Auburn's sharply written, solidly built drama Proof explores the
intersections of genius and madness with a sureness and subtlety not many
others have mustered. And in Arena Stage's warm, well-modulated production,
director Wendy C. Goldberg and a splendid cast bring an uncommon grace
to Auburn's Pulitzer Prize-winning script. Catherine (Keira Naughton),
the lank-haired, studiously blank-faced young woman sitting on the run-down
back porch of that Chicago row house, has just turned 25, by which age
her dad--whose number-crunching gift she seems to have inherited--was
feeling the first stirrings of what would become a full-blown, career-ending
psychosis. So the fact that she's worrying aloud to the old man that he
might have passed down the insanity, too, is more than a little significant--especially
because he's been dead for a week. Naughton negotiates the challenges
of a complex character without once stepping wrong; Susan Lynskey is tart
and funny as Catherine's no-nonsense Manhattanite sister; Michael Rudko
finds the perfect mix of frustration, resignation, and irony for his damaged
professor; and Barnaby Carpenter makes the goofy-handsome mathematician
who's been going through her dad's papers winning. After that researcher
demonstrates, with considerably charming awkwardness, that he's as interested
in the late professor's daughter as his notebooks, she brings with her
the very thing he's been hoping to find: a groundbreaking new mathematical
proof of astonishing complexity, evidence that the dead man's last lucid
period culminated in one final explosion of genius. Or is it? The proof's
authorship quickly comes into question, it's to Auburn's--and Goldberg's--credit
that the outcome remains very much in doubt until the last few minutes.
(TG) Arena Stage Kreeger Theater, 1101 6th St. SW. Thursdays-Saturdays
at 8 p.m.; Sundays & Wednesdays at 7:30 p.m.; matinees Saturdays & Sun.,
10/26, at 2 p.m.; Tue., 10/28, at noon. $36-$41 to Nov. 23 (202) 488-3300.
Also, beware of the sun.
10.23.03
Berkeley-based Trix McGinnis contributes high quality cultural artifacts:
"Schwarzenegger does
Japan. Even Arnold has to make a buck, I suppose," says whoever forwarded
it to her. Really bizarre clips of the governor hawking Japanese beer and
nicotine drinks.
A fairly exhaustive grid of rock star deaths. This is a good
one my sister found while looking for Elliott Smith info: The
fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be
shortened.
Constance reports: "thought you'd like to know that the
elegant universe is being adapted for tv. in new york, it will premiere
on pbs this tuesday. check local listings for showtimes!" The Elegant
Universe is book by Brian Greene about string theory. How
small is a string? Pretty damn small. Says Greene: "The fundamental
particles of the universe that physicists have identified — electrons,
neutrinos, quarks, and so on — are the 'letters' of all matter. Just
like their linguistic counterparts, they appear to have no further internal
substructure. String theory proclaims otherwise. According to string theory,
if we could examine these particles with even greater precision —
a precision many orders of magnitude beyond our present technological
capacity — we would find that each is not pointlike but instead consists
of a tiny, one-dimensional loop. Like an infinitely thin rubber band,
each particle contains a vibrating, oscillating, dancing filament that
physicists have named a string."
jaime says: i'm sure you've seen something like this before,  but
it's so fricking fun! http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html
JM says: yay. nerd alert! jaime says: "i like to eat salmon" turns out
to also be "a sattelite i'm ok on" JM says: that makes perfect sense JM
says: arnold schwarzenegger is also "A CZAR RED GREW HEN LONGS" jaime
says: very very appropriate. jaime says: "i am a project manager" = A
JAMAICA GERM ET PORN JM says: haha JM says: A CZAR NERD EGG SLEW HORN
jaime says: even bettah! JM says: i'm a codebot = BAD TAO CEO I'M
JM says: ok im done. jaime says: shit's goooood!
Lastly, Dribbleglass
(deb d) and sign a petition
to roll back FCC media ownership rules, from Ms. Over and out, pretty
young things. Thanks for tuning in.
10.22.03
There's so much bad today. Sorry. Elliott
Smith killed himself. Pitchfork, and MTV's
version. Sad. Bush, of course, will sign this: Senate
bans late-term abortion. Fuckers. As everyone knows, this is basically
an emergency procedure used to save the life of woman or child. But whatever.
The Bushes can't keep their fingers out of anyone or anything. Can you
believe Republicans claim to believe in less government? This is
surreal: Transcript
of John Allen Muhammad's opening defense of himself.
In Sports, there's still good baseball going on, but basically
everyone's being arrested, indicted, subpoenaed, or drunk-crashing borrowed
motorcycles into poles while
popping wheelies outside Las Vegas strip clubs. But here's some stuff.
A
Pioneering 'Rat' Pack at VMI: Freshmen on School's First-Ever Women's
Sports Team Endure Torturous Traditions. Post. You
Gotta Carry That Weight. SI on Lebron.
Not Bad Stuff: Gallery
of Birth Control Pill Packaging. kottke. And Eat
like a pro: Tribune restaurant critic Phil Vettel tells how to make the
most of a meal out. From Mart: Kung Fu re-mixer is a must see time waster! 
Speaking of Santorum, Dan Savage says (via Bob) "For everyone out
there following the santorum saga, I offered a case of lube and a selection
of santorum-themed T-shirts from www.extraugly.com
to anyone who could get a comment from the senator on the new meaning
of his last name. (The senator won't take my calls.) The nice folks from
Down There Press want to sweeten the pot: They're offering a copy of Anal
Pleasure & Health, the butt-sex bible, and The Big Book Of Masturbation
to anyone who can get a quote from U.S. Sen. Santorum on lube-and-fecal-matter
santorum. Come on, Tucker Carlson, you know you wanna ask him!"
Best Stuff: New Shins album came out yesterday. Chutes
Too Narrow, Pitchfork review. And here's the first song, just for
you: So Says I. Subpop.
10.21.03
Today we are rich in illustrator friends doing cool stuff. Aren't we
lucky?
- Biting Shrew/Peeper Polly/Jill McElmurry's latest book: Our
Nest
- Rachel Cox, illustrator,
makes nifty t-shirt for Mates of State.
- Pretty awesome illustrations by Bova's
friend, Po
Photographers! Create
the new face of a classic. The Guardian is sponsoring a contest to
make a new Penguin book cover for these here classics: The Master 
and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov, The Go-Between by LP Hartley, Nineteen
Eighty-Four by George Orwell, and The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles. Go
win yourself some money.
Stuff: I Love
Bacon. Silly photo site. (jacob). New Get
Your War On. (underblog). Sesame
Street embarks on Middle East peace mission, the guardian, by way
of electronic infitada.
One John Lustig, passing through my romance comics site, writes: "I don't
know if you've heard of Last
Kiss, but basically here's the skinny: Years ago, I bought the rights
to one of Charlton's one romance comic book series, FIRST KISS. For the
last few years I've been doing a LAST KISS comic book and comic strip
series in which I use the art from FIRST KISS, but with funny new dialogue.
It's sort of the Mystery Science Theater of romance comics--or the What's
Up, Tiger Lilly? of romance comics if you're a Woody Allen fan."
Be sure to check out his readers'
contributions section.
10.20.03
Margaret Cho! Margaret Cho! Margaret Cho! Margaret Cho! Margaret Cho!
Margaret Cho! Margaret Cho! Margaret
Cho's site, and Selections from Margaret Cho's blog: On
Rush, and On
the Sanctity of Marriage. Go see Margaret Cho if ever you have the
chance, or rent a video, at least. Love MC MC. 
Pastor Jack, Spirituality & The
Tom Jones Connection. This guy performs exorcisms using the music
of Tom Jones. Click to see a photo of Jack being fellated by a congregant.
From Deb D.
David Harris Ebenbach sent a nice email to HK, and added: "Anyway, in
the spirit of connecting Bush-haters to Bush-haters, I thought you might
be interested in my website, www.davidebenbach.com,
or at least the WriteImpact section of the website. I'm a writer, and
I've been sending Bush poetry and short stories since his inauguration,
as a monthly attempt to send him something eye-catching that flies in
the face of his worldviews. That's what the WriteImpact Project is."
Check it out, and thanks Mr Ebenbach.
What REALLY Happened to the Cubs.
"Lucky Black Cat" Not Around for Game 7, By Chris Jones.
Chicago, Illinois - The monumental collapse of the Chicago Cubs during
the NLCS has been blamed on the "fan" interference play that occured in
the waning innings of game 6. Another theory has been circulating in the
court of public opinion recently. It is being called "The curse of the
absent cat", and is obviously a more likely factor in ending the usually
charmed Cubbies season one game shy of the World Series.
According to published reports, during the first six games of the series
the once reliable "lucky cat", Gaipan, had assumed it's usual "lucky spot"
on the upper,  left-hand
portion of a bed belonging to the cat's owners, while facing the television.
Gaipan's owners, speaking with anonymity brought on from shame and a sense
of responsibility, remain confused by the cat's unusual behavior. "Throughout
the first six games of the series, Gaipan seemed so in tuned to the gravity
of the games being played and would superstitiously watch them from the
same spot on the bed," said "Julie X" of Chicago.
"Chris X" echoed the sentiments of his domestic partner, "I would think
that a black cat would understand the principle of superstition better
than most people, but apparently not."
It appears Gaipan had other plans for the evening. When summoned to it's
lucky perch for the pivotal game, Gaipan was nowhere to be found. After
repeated calls of "Here Kitty, Kitty!" and "Gaipan, meow, meow, meow!"
the usually reliable good luck charm  did
not appear. After the game was over, and the Cubs were eliminated from
the playoffs, Gaipan emerged from a nearby closet yawning and stretching
after taking a Rip VanWinklesque four hour nap. Holding a press conference
from just outside its litter box and speaking through an interpreter,
Gaipan issued a public statement. "You know man, sometimes a cat just
needs it's sleep. I feel bad about what happened with the Cubs, but Jesus
Christ, seven fucking games! That's too much for even an unemployed cat
to deal with! In game 5 I felt a twinge in my hamstring during the seventh
inning stretch, and I sensed that I might not make it if this thing went
seven games."
Cubs manager, Dusty Baker appeared confused when reached for comment
on the "Curse of the absent cat" theory. When asked by a reporter for
the Chicago Tribune to comment on whether Gaipan the cat might have cost
his team the National League pennant, Baker responded, "What the fuck
are you talking about?"
Gaipan has already been offered a made-for-TV movie deal, as well as
an offer to host a reality show on the "Animal Planet" network. Meanwhile,
Gaipan has hired a personal trainer and is preparing for the college basketball
season. "My owner, Chris X, or whatever he is calling himself, is a huge
Kansas basketball fan so it looks like I will be called upon to provide
some luck for their games - what a crock of shit!"
10.17.03
Does it seem like the world's getting more chaotic by the day? Maybe it's
because the people running things are completely insane. General:
We're in a 'Spiritual Battle': Says 'Christian army' fights Satan, Muslims
worship 'idol', Newsday.
The Cubs and the Sox. Sigh. Blah blah blah. At least we don't have to
read about the "angst-ridden" Bostonians and "long-suffering"
Chicagoans for a while. Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, writes:
"At long last, the suffering is over. Florida Marlins fans, that
hardy group of loyalists who stand proudly from Fort Lauderdale all the
way to, uh, North Miami Beach, can walk tall this morning. Their six-year
trip to hell ended in paradise Wednesday night, with a 9-6 victory over
the Cubs, and the National League pennant. It's hard to explain what this
means to South Florida, especially since the Dolphins reported no major
injuries at practice Wednesday. An entire half a generation has felt the
Marlins' pain since 1997. Olderbrothers can commiserate with younger brothers
about the torture. How do you quantify it? How do you explain what it
means to have endured Todd Dunwoody and Brian Meadows and Dan Miceli,
in the long drought between trips to the World Series?"
See also, TiVo
time warp, from kottke. Ozz-Chart,
from Last Plane to Jakarta. I dig the Episcopalians, and I hope they emerge
from this brouhaha all right: U.S.
Episcopalians, divided over gays, welcome outcome of emergency summit.
This stuff is amazing: Kariwanz
Fetish. Speaking of fetish: An
historical survey of juvenile corporal punishment in Great Britain.
So, not only was I ignorant of the fact that wedding guest Animal
was a celesbian, I also had no idea that June, the other woman pictured,
is an even greater famous lesbian, a womyn's music pioneeress from back
in the day, as they say. Here is the Bio
of June Millington. Thanks, Interloper.
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