2/19/09

And they're closing all the factories down!

For real. So long Saturn and Hummer!

We're driving up to Allentown to pick up the car today. This'll be my 6th of the BMW-variety, and third ragtop. But I have a special feeling about THIS one.

Here's some San Francisco alley art, from Marlz.

And introducing, Sawyer!

Etc.

• 99 Sense is back in funny business. Says she, "n this dire time of recession, it appears that some potentially important people have been looking at my blog, and I am now fielding print and radio interviews. crazy. So I had to get off my ass, and get back to sensing. 99 Sense is officially back. I die hard, but always come back with a vengeance."
• A solicitation from a Conversations With Mud led me to complete this survey of lesbians for someone's doctorate. I'm pretty sure the author's trying to establish that young lesbians partake in more high-risk behavior than regl'ar girls. So if you're a D (only!) and want to feel great about yourself, help someone with their thesis today!

2/17/09

Serious boys at war

Funny thing: Last night, after tossing back some saki with Japan's Finance Minister, I stumbled over to meet some friends at a restaurant I dislike for reasons I'm too lazy to figure out, called Busboys and Poets (oh, wait, that's the reason). Always, there is a 20-minute wait. Always, they send you to the inhouse bookstore, where you wander around looking at titles like, More Than An Athlete: Poems by Etan Thomas (your Washington Wizards' less-than-a-center). You hope maybe this time the hostess won't seat your party on beanbags surrounding a coffeetable, or perched on the edges of footstools to lunge at TV trays.

Well, maybe it's not that bad. But it's sure not the great Thai treat Chez and I found last week, called Siam House. Siam House is so perfect that even the couple breaking up at the next table stayed only long enough to pique some interest. We felt unequal parts sympathy and relief when the distraught dude played this card from a weakening hand: the collection and return of their menus to the server. "WHY SHOULD I SIT HERE AND EAT WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME?" But the doomed couple, she quietly aware of the existence of others, he past caring, stayed miserably companionable long enough to order and recieve their carryout. That means the food is good. And breaking up is hard to do.

But the coincidence was, while at the bookstore I picked up two novels, one by Annie Proulx and another by George Pelecanos. I've never read Pelecanos, despite his being DC's best known, most prolific contemporary writer. But more than that, he writes detective novels, and more than that, he was a writer and producer for "The Wire." The book I've just started is called Hell to Pay, and it's set right here in my own neighborhood. There are pitbull fights on Crittenden and Oglethorpe, a guy to track down at Roosevelt High, a harrassed hooker to check in with at 13th and L. And the Delafield Mob! They are rolling around in their Caprices, high and armed, just one block from dear old Emerson Street. Yeah!

So I put that down because it's dinner time, which is for newspapers and magazines, not paperbacks. And I pick up my issue of Harper's and finish this story about Tolstoy which I'm surprised I like because I don't care about Tolstoy (I remember kind of liking Chekhov, though), and start this piece by a Benjamin Busch called, "Bearing Arms: The Serious Boy at War." Busch is a Marine, and as a child his hippie parents wouldn't let him have a toy gun, so he built his forts and waged his intricate battles with swords and rifles pieced together from pipes and wires. I strongly relate. From the hours spent strategically positioning legions of plastic army men to shoot each other. Guns fashioned from Legos, Lincoln Logs, and bananas. Etcetera. Finally one day, my dad's mom, my Grandma Inzani, gave me a cowboy capgun and holster. What I remember for sure is that my parents quickly confiscated it, and I spent weeks, probably years searching for it in my grandma's basement, where last it was seen. The fact that many years later I have an almost identical toy gun that belonged to my deceased brother is some small consolation (for the lost gun, of course, not the lost brother).

In the end, though, I think Benjamin Busch's point was something like, guns are meaningful and magical, but the Iraq war isn't, and, also it turns out the guy Busch played Officer Anthony Colicchio on "The Wire."

That's all! Thank you and goodnight.

2/16/09, I'm working on Presidents Day afternoon edition

Facebook going to its own head

You already have mixed feelings about Facebook. It is fundamentally creepy, inherently puerile, essentially lame. But you linger on....because you are a stalker. For "professional reasons." You have no blog of your own. And it's sort of fun. But, Facebook'd better quit this shit: Revised Terms of Use Gives Facebook Perpetual Rights to User Content. In brief: "The revision grants Facebook complete, perpetual ownership of content uploaded or added to Facebook — including the rights to sublicense said content." Related, at The Consumerist: Facebook's New Terms Of Service: "We Can Do Anything We Want With Your Content. Forever." From Stockyard Queen.

Important Things

• Suzanne in Cali says, "Have you seen this!?!?! best youtube video of 2009. so far." kittens inspired by kittens Yes!!
• If mixed species acts are your thing, you will like this cavity-sweet fawn and kitten mashup , from sister Jesse.
• From photog lesbro in Tampa, Dan Weisburg's pics of the Florida State Fair. Jess also sent them, subject: "Florida, the state with the prettiest name. (But, not-prettiest people. )" Article on the Freak Show at the Fair, NYT.

Poobah eating fire at The Florida State Fair. © (whatever that means) Dan Weisburg

PS. to Dan, and everyone: Heck's Kitchen now reserves the right to reproduce your works on dental dams and urinal cakes and sell them, forever.

Tomorrow: Something about Benjy's new record and My Comic Valentine: A Comic Book for the Stage

2/16/09

Gulf Coast Countdown

We're moving to St. Petersburg, Florida at the end of March. To prepare, I've bought another Bimmer, pictured here in an environment it will never see again.

Partytime

Lisa Marie Thalhammer's Michelle Obama.

The artist.

The only party guests complying with party-theme directions.

Same as last time.

More later.

2/12/09

Bah

While my mom lives a life of deprivation in Uganda, I sit on a soft pillow enjoying electricity efficiently delivered to my fingertips, eyeballs, and anywhere else I might apply it. Beside me towers a veritable yet metaphorical mountain of chocolate, while my mom rejoices at finding a dusty chocolate chip in the pocket of some jeans she forgot she packed. In Uganda, people subsist on starch and cook with tin cans and banana leaves. Here I take one bite from a Turducken and throw the rest to the cats in the alley. Ugandans speak impeccable English. Here, we willfully deconstroy it at Achewood Wonkette DeffoTotes! Achewood! Coach!

I wish mom would update her blog. She sends us crazy long emails detailing what's happening there, but has no time to bloggy post? Sheesh. I'm going to start making stuff up.

Yesterday, some sort of "governor" offered my stepdad a goat for my mom. The deal only fell through when Mike, ha, just kidding! The deal was done. Mike says mom is a princess now.

Did you bring any boobs at all?

Great little story: Drag Returns to Southwest With Ziegfeld's Reopening, by Shauna Miller, at DCist. "The drag queens are here to help you get drunk, get laid and to entertain the children," [Ophelia Bottoms, a.k.a. Charles McWilliams] says brightly. "But I'll make sure you get outside to puke, instead of the middle of the floor."

2/11/09

Fish Phlog, with Elizabeth Bishop

I caught a tremendous fish / and held him beside the boat / half out of water, with my hook / fast in a corner of his mouth. / He didn't fight. / He hadn't fought at all. / He hung a grunting weight, / battered and venerable and homely.

He was a bluefish, caught at Whole Foods. We put him in the sink.

--the frightening gills, / fresh and crisp with blood, / that can cut so badly-- / I thought of the coarse white flesh / packed in like feathers, / the big bones and the little bones, / the dramatic reds and blacks / of his shiny entrails, / and the pink swim-bladder / like a big peony.

All that came out, plus two smaller fishes. Chez is muttering, "...vegetarian for a reason."

I looked into his eyes / which were far larger than mine / but shallower, and yellowed, / the irises backed and packed / with tarnished tinfoil / seen through the lenses / of old scratched isinglass... I admired his sullen face, / the mechanism of his jaw.

Earlier plans to make fish head soup are scotched as gag reflexes reach their limits.

The fillets were good. Peanut Butter gets the head.

- 30 -

PS. New Secretary of Agriculture talks to WaPo's Food folks: Q&A: Tom Vilsack, The New Face Of Agriculture. "In a perfect world, everything that was sold, everything that was purchased and consumed would be local, so the economy would receive the benefit of that. But sometimes that stresses the capacity: the production capacity or the distribution capacity. Especially since we don't have yet a very sophisticated distribution system for locally grown food. One thing we can do is work on strategies to make that happen. It can be grant programs, loan programs, it can be technical assistance."

Next on HK: Is there deadly nerve gas in the air you're breathing? Are your children's teachers convicted sex offenders? Tune in this afternoon and find out!

2/10/09

Julia Child's Ghost

A few weeks ago Chez and I rode our bikes down to the American History Museum. The Lincoln and inexplicably popular First Ladies' Gowns exhibits had lines out the door, but we managed to get down to the basement and see Julia Child's kitchen. Strangely, we ran into our friend Dan and his dad there. Even stranger, when I transferred my photos to my computer, look who popped up.

The Docket

1. It was a Fuck You Friday at Achewood
2. Deffototes made bread, bought a gently used kitten poster
3. Ambrose Manor is getting their Mardi Gras on

Time to make the donuts.

Weekender

Leftover Digest

1. Sandwich Duel, Part 23 (versus Ellen), Chris Onstad (Achewood guy) at The New Yorker.
2. Achewood: restaurant industry achewood
3. I love when Deffototes makes a boring new shirt, and drives extremely fast, and goes to BiscuiTown and also I learned something about keyboards.
4. Marlz says, "check out these headlights." She also sent this nice little piece, The rise of 'douchebag', where I learned the colorful Hungarian peasant insult, "Oh God, stop slapping me in the face with your cock all covered with shit from fucking Jesus."
5. Miss Mess contacts Tech Support

Speaking of Miss Mess, it just finally feels like the right time to post these school pictures of her, circa 1994?

PS. Feminists for Animal Rights :)

2/6/09

Composting made easy

1. Open back door, throw food

2. Varmints

Nighttime

I got a new toy

2/4/09

Bongzilla edition: A swimmer in hot water

This is how to work a water pipe, kids!

Michael Phelps was over here at Emerson House the other night, and I've got to tell you, the boy has some LUNGS, and an appetite, too. I hope posting this picture doesn't get him into trouble.

Big Bong Theory, Sally Jenkins at WaPo, saying who cares, everybody does it (and by the way, I'm friends with Lance Armstrong) and just as predictable is the blowhard Michael Wilbon all freaking out about it because HE never smoked pot and because HIS buddies, like Charles Barkley, have to pay consequences for throwing guys through plate glass windows and driving drunk. He manages to bring Mike Vick into it, too, as if killing puppies is similar to partaking of the "marijuana pipe."

I think I will stop caring about sports now.

At the fancy cancer benefit

Last night Shauna and I attended Turn Up the Heat! A Celebration of Women Chefs, a benefit for the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance. What I learned about ovarian cancer is don't get it. Chez's dish was delicious and pretty, and Wendy Rieger continues to be awesome.

At left, the nice Rogue Ale lady. At right, Vegetate's Sam and Chez plate Ojibwa Wild Rice Pound Cake, Roasted Path Valley Carrot Puree, Spinach and Chick Pea Ragout, Cranberry Chutney and Toasted Pecans.

What chefs do: booze and schmooze. I love Wendy! Shauna said, "She's like the hottest mom of your friends."

1. Bob sez, Lego New York. I like how the creepy Verizon building is included.
2. He also sez, "You'll love this." A Man and His Ink: Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett can tell his life story, both the good and the bad, through his tattoos
3. Ranger Ted sez, "Check this out." Earl Scruggs & Steve Martin - Foggy Mountain Breakdown
4. He also sez, Friendly Montana Neighbor Buffs, pretty pics of bison in Yellowstone.
5. And Coach sez, "people need to vote on this, i mean, i know the fray was awesome at 9:30 and all, but . . . " nbc4 golden locals: black cat vs. 9:30.

2/2/09

Evening edition: A dog was in hot water

This weekend we traveled to Columbus, Ohio for my dad's girlfriend's surprise 50th birthday party. We stayed at friend Bova's place to avoid detection. There, Caesare made the birthday cake.

me: i almost had to kill a dog this weekend
rebecca: what happened?
me: i was dipping strawberries in chocolate and chez was spreading buttercream...

me: and i kept hearing this sound and i turned around finally and this jack russell we were staying with was eating the cake
she ate quite a nice chunk of the cake

rebecca: uh oh
me: i thought chez might cry, but then it was funny-ish. and then she repaired the cake.

rebecca: oh, so this was not an old yeller situation where you were going to have to shoot a dog
haha
me: aw
rebecca: i was really picturing you with a shotgun, tears running down your face
me: no
hahaha
man, that would be awful
rebecca: and then some miraculous recovery
i'm glad that didn't happen!
me: mmm...very literal
rebecca: well. i almost had to kill a dog.
me: you did?
rebecca: sounds like you almost had to kill a dog.
me: oh
right
sorry
rebecca: heh
me: i guess i wont tell the story that way
rebecca: tis a wee bit confusing :)
me: oh well. it sucks to make a multilayered fancy cake and then the damn dog eats part of it
rebecca: indeed. i can understand why the dog was in hot water.
or in the doghouse.
for a similarly hyperbolic intro, you could say, a dog almost ruined chez's life this weekend
me: i'll think of something

Afterword: The party was great, the guest of honor surprised, and the cake was a hit. No dog died.

Morning edition, wherein the heterosexuals send lesbian news

Return this afternoon for the tale of a cake and a Jack Russell terrier.

01/29/09

From the offices of Madge and Larzipan, a Special Announcement

Heck's Kitchen is pleased to tack to the bulletin board this epideictic, by Coach's distinguished colleague Madge.

Coach of the Year!!!

Let us praise, laud, glorify, extol, bless, exalt, and adore our very own Coach. For today She has brought us forth from slavery to freedom, from sorrow to joy, from mourning to festive day, from darkness to a great light, and from subjection to redemption. All that AND she was named Employee of the Year. Laura is one of the most modest people I know, but her skillz are anything but. Today we found out that there is indeed justice at the world's premier education organization. (Yes, that's what we are. It's in our vision statement.) Our workplace is not without its dysfunctions, but to quote a colleague, "No matter what happens all year long the group gets it together and does select the right person for the overall winner!!" So here's to Coach, who finally got a trophy of her own!

We're so proud.

Miriam: You can also post that great fag/vegetarian story i sent if you need content.
me: i will
haha this pic is pretty great
Miriam: note that they describe him as a "married triathlete"
me: yes
Miriam: because how could he be gay if he's a triathlete?

-#-

Rebecca says, "oh fer cryin' out loud."

It's just an honor to be nominated...

Thanks for the shoutouts, Wednesday's Child (common dorky comics interest), Deffototes (he also misses Achewood), and Mr. Benbrook, who was awesome enough to send us scans of some of his old work. He thinks they seem dated now, but I love them. Especially the one about Steve.

01/28/09

Infinite patience produces immediate results

Re: the long absence of Achewood.

Patience

Patience is
wider than one
once envisioned,
with ribbons
of rivers
and distant
ranges and
tasks undertaken
and finished
with modest
relish by
natives in their
native dress.
Who would
have guessed
it possible
that waiting
is sustainable —
a place with
its own harvests.
Or that in
time's fullness
the diamonds
of patience
couldn't be
distinguished
from the genuine
in brilliance
or hardness.

- by Poet Laureate Kay Ryan ("D"-California )

Women, and what it is they might want

Much gratitude to everyone who responded to yesterday's whine with advice and anecdotes. I heard the tale of a father who inadvertently accelerated his daughter's coming out by hitting on her girlfriend. I learned that at least one bartender deals with such incidents as part of his profession. It was pointed out that I could choose to be flattered, or acquire a less attractive partner. I think the lesson here is that I should never change.

Katy Otto Wants to Turn Your $ Into Something Special

The busy and fantastico Katy Otto (subject of an official Heck's Kitchen interview in January '03) is hustling to make happen a showcase for her label, Exotic Fever Records, this year at SXSW. They've raised one-quarter of the amount they need so far.

01/27/09

I'm sitting here sick in the living room while Chris and Edward play the football video game

You probably think the Lesbian Life is all talking laughing loving breathing fighting fucking crying drinking riding winning losing cheating kissing thinking dreaming...if you watch the L Word, which finds a new shark to jump every episode. But it's not all great tits and forward fashion over here. No, there is a dark side, where indignities and annoyances lurk around every corner. Let me ask you, straight reader: When a dude is out with his girlfriend, do other dudes brazenly flirt with her? Attempt to interject themselves in the conversation and monopolize her? If this does occur, is it customary to offer the dude three steps toward the door?

By the way, Wonkette mentioned this Cory Oberndorfer show at Flashpoint a bunch of us managed to make for the free PBR. I met these random nice people who asked me to take a picture of them. I hope they find it.

Dudes checking out my girlfriend. Or possibly that other dude.

Oh yes, the art.

Heavy Metal DC

Glad I'm not trying to grow a brain around here: High Lead Levels Found in D.C. Kids, wapost. "A new study concludes...In some high-risk neighborhoods, the number of toddlers and infants with blood-lead concentrations that can cause irreversible IQ loss and developmental delays more than doubled after harmful levels of lead began leaching into the city's drinking water in 2001."

More later.

01/26/09

Sheer pre-code hotness

One Lane Pianta, whom I've still never met, was kind enough to ask me to help put together this romance comic-themed production (based on my antique internet archive). I declined rather than threaten my perfect record of starting then bailing on projects, but I can't wait to check out what he's done:

01/23/09

Hey Mikey! He likes it!

The Corn Refiners are mad as hell, and they're not gonna take it anymore! I mean, they'll keep taking your $40 billion in subsidies, thanks, but everyone'd better shut up about High Fructose Corn Syrup, which is as healthy as cigarettes were in the '40s. This Cheeseslave blog's got the ads and the parodies, if you like: Videos: High-Fructose Corn Syrup Commercial Spoofs.

Speaking of cheese and what's good, here's some comfort food porn, ala Chefz. That's mac & cheese and the best beans that ever were baked. I'm having a delicious flashback.

For people who like things:

1. Watching Out For Those Dykes - The Essential Bechdel, at Forbidden Planet. Bechdel's hanging 'em up for a while, at least, and in the meantime has released the anthology The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For, which follows the great Indelible Alison Bechdel and acclaimed memoir Fun Home. From Coach.

   

2. Also from Coach: obamanon, pics a many.
3. And, from Coach: "i pledge my wood surfaces, not the glass ones: gina gershon pledges to advance stem cell research! we're saved! this totally had me cracking up, Hey, Hollywood Movie Stars, Obama Thinks You All SUCK (Wonkette). to her credit, demi moore pledges to smile more, and we all know how impossible that is with her reconstituted face."

If only Coach would do a little more, this blog would rule.

01/21/09

Obamanation

Huddled masses.

We rallied our party-weary selves out the door by 10:30, hopped on the 14th Street bus (full of hungover people), disembarked at Thomas Circle, and were on the Mall by 11:15. No problem.

Cold and sunny. "The forecast didn't call for sober," said Dave.

Leaving the Mall was another story. In the photo below are some of the 1.8 million people on the Mall at about the time we arrived. The white things are buses, arranged to corral people in and out on the only two roads by which you could enter/exit the area. That little gap between those two buses was the only way out, and when Obama finished and that poor poet started, we all soon found ourselves packed shoulder to shoulder for a very long time. We were an actual captive audience for the crazies with the megaphone and Chick tracts, who had something very pressing to say about baby-killing women, man-on-man action, and general sinnery.

An hour and a half of historic shuffling was to follow.

But otherwise, awesome! Two hours and a very short distance later, bartender Chris served us a round of beers at the packed Lucky Bar, then we stopped for a slice at Alberto's.

Pose for your giant slice of cheese.

And then housemate Chris picked us up off the streets.

Hobos

The night before we walked down to Dupont Circle for an extremely earnest Saging Ceremony, hosted by Kate Clinton. I couldn't take it. Also, people threw shoes at the blow-up doll.

Effigies not on fire = yawn.

I thought this was cute.

And now, from the people:

Marlz, San Francisco: "Signs of change are everywhere."

From Rebongaz (with that guy Bob): "Solipsistic inauguration day in New York. What Ball?"

01/19/09

Photo by Edward, 11/18/09: "it was too erect for me to get the whole thing in the shot"

01/16/09

We have to do it in the Facebook, with the Twittering

Highlights for Grown-Ups

What do you do when you're far from home and stylist? So far from home that you're actually in a dirty hostel in Moab, Utah, or perhaps in Africa? That's when you have your highlights done by your partner, however unqualified. When Caesare did mine, we were watching Baby Mama, which wasn't as funny as I'd hoped, except for the part where Tina Fey is scrubbing the bleach out of Amy Poehler's hair, scolding her about vanity and chemicals, and Amy's all "I was blonde when I was ten!" and Tina yells at her some more, and Amy says, "You don't understand, you're a brunette!" and Tina says, "So are you!" Anyway, when you're my mom in Uganda, you have my stepdad pull your hair through a cap, and your friends come over and drink wine and take pictures.

Roundup

• "On May 26, 1996, Mariana Cook visited Barack and Michelle Obama in Hyde Park as part of a photography project on couples in America. What follows is excerpted from her interviews with them." A Couple in Chicago: The New Yorker
• From Deb D., Marines doing the cha cha slide in iraq
• From Stockyard Queen: Amazon review of The Secret
• From Bob: Schroeder played real Beethoven, nyt. "More than an illustration, the music was a soundtrack to the strip, introducing the characters' state of emotion, prompting one of them to ask a question or punctuating an interaction."
• Dave Roth's preview of Steelers-Ravens AFC Champeenship Game
• From Marlz, from Harpers:
  
  Six candidates for the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee debated at the National Press Club, where they discussed ways to appeal to younger voters. "We have to do it in the Facebook," said incumbent Chairman Mike Duncan, "with the Twittering."
• From: Bob
  Subject: snuggie news and media opportunities
  
  "i seem to remember discussing this blanket w sleeves w you guys."
  
  The Snuggie -- that full-body cloak of sorts -- has been backordered since November. Why, we wonder, is the Snuggie so popular? Are more people staying home -- *and* turning the heat down -- to save money in this economy? This is set to be a bright-style business story and we are looking for experts in economics or marketing, who can deliver valuable, relevant information in a humorous manner. This story is specifically on the Snuggie and there are no sidebars or related ideas. Contact: Kristi Gustafson, kgustafson@timesunion.com

01/14/09

Inaugural Bawl

Politicals: First things first. When Obama inexplicably picked that douchebag Rick Warren to deliver the prayer at his inauguration, about a hundred million people sent me the story. Everyone was outraged! But I had to learn from of all thing's ROSEANNE BARR'S BLOG that Obama has also picked a gay bishop to pray??? Damn, people! That's news, too.

Complete transcript of Hillary's speech last night

DC Restaurants and Africa: As you may know, my mom and stepdad moved to Uganda three months ago. They've since learned a lot and I've learned a little: mostly, that place is so backwards that a lady would have to bribe the governor to get some feminine hygiene products. Tonight I called into the One City Ministries board meeting, as I, who would've guessed it, am a director of an African mission. Bob offered his PR services to the ministry following a conversation about why a Johnny-come-lately snooty wine & tapas place like Cork made it into this NYT article while a legitimately pioneering restaurant in a REAL dangerous D.C. neighborhood (murders!), aka, Vegetate, didn't warrant a mention, .

My mom sent her latest newsletter to the board today. I think it's ok to post it. Read about giant maggots that live in your skin!

Take It Away, Coach

Amy Sedaris Explains Teh Internets

The Greek Word for Headcheese: Coach says, "It's a pretty long video but totally reminds me of the y kan't jerri read episode of Strangers with Candy. plus, it's PBS, so you know you're learning something, too (like how to send a forward--say! i just did!)."

(Speaking of funny ladies, right now me and Chez and Dave and Chris are in the living room watching some history of Amercian sitcoms, or something, and they've covered The Simpsons, I Love Lucy, All in the Family, The Cosby Show, Roseanne, and Seinfeld, so far. Man, I love All in the Family, and Roseanne! I was just wondering what she was up to. She's got a crazier blog than Rosie O'Donnell, and an interesting item in her Wiki about gay stuff. Also, DC residents are slaves!)

L-Word Final Season Premiere, Sunday.

From Coach:
Subject: tranny loggins

"are you guys excited about the forthcoming L word premiere? i sure am! guess who's been keeping the fire burning for us all these lonely L-free months?"

New Mirah Song

From: Coach
Subject: mirah new mp3, short interview

Coach: hit the front page, son!

me: i like the song. every time i read a mirah review, phil elverum is mentioned by the second sentence. am i being crazy, or is this a legitmate annoyance with dude music writing world?

Coach: i think dudes want to be like, i know that mirah used to be in this little band called the microphones. kinda like that girl in the kills that used to be in discount. music nerd points?

Pun Contest!

From: Coach
Subject: ball-ternatives

things to do tuesday other than walking for hours and getting a u.t.i. in the freezing cold:

inaugural bawl: spend the entire day watching steel magnolias and the last five minutes of the real world brooklyn premiere

inaudible fall: spend the day jumping in a moon bounce

inaugural crawl: pop in unexpectedly on jess and dan and elliot*

intolerable rawls: insist that your loved one give you the longest bj of your life, soundtracked by lou rawls

inaugural thaw: make the most disgusting potluck with all that freezer-burned shit in your fridge.

me:

improbable yawl: assemble drunken crew to sail potomac to mall.

*

01/12/09

Obama gets out in the District.

Where the food at?

When we saw that the old sign, "WHO EATS FREE AT BEN'S: BILL COSBY. NO ONE ELSE," had been amended to read, "AND THE OBAMA FAMILY," we all wondered how long it would take for The Man to get down there. It was probably the best day of Mayor Fenty's life. DC expat Marlz, who is supposedly a gay but clearly has a thing for the president elect, was the first with the breaking news:

Nerd Alert

Bob asks a tough and interesting question.

Out Of Africa: Jimi's finally been sprung from Kokomo. He returns to America with advice for Palestinians: Underdawgs.