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12.29.05 We played a fierce game of Cranium the other night. First team Jesse and I crushed the competition. Then I drank too much of that there Merlot, and smoked too many cigars. Pictured: Jesse, Sean and friend Matt. Sean is in big trouble today. If he doesn't shape up, I'll be forced to use the internet to embarrass him into acting right.
12.27.05
Here's my brother Sean playing my brother-in-law's* didgeridoo.
*Is your sister's husband your brother-in-law? Please write if you really know the answer to this seemingly simple question. 12.21.05
Finally, Frederick County has a winner: county's
largest case of animal hoarding (Bob) Dresden, where work is nicer than home. A photo tour of the Transparent Factory in Dresden (Joel) An add for my mom's extensive mental list of all the ways kids can
find to die. Killed
by a Toy (Dave) Some of us can now breathe easier. Except we don't live in Canada. Canadian court lifts ban on "swingers" clubs: Group sex among consenting adults not a threat to society, it says (Marla)
Dick Cheney visited Iraq and informed American soldiers that he was not Jessica Simpson. The Iraqi military announced that they had captured Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, but accidentally released him, and 24 top officials from the Hussein regime, including "Dr. Germ" and "Mrs. Anthrax," were released from jail without charges. The Pentagon also launched 1-800-CALL-SPY, a hotline that allows U.S. citizens to report suspicious activity directly to the military. In Houston, Texas, a receptionist named Kristina Roberts was suing her boss, Jorge Garcia, for ejaculating on her as she worked. Garcia insists the ejaculation was consensual.*
A Florida owl was found to be high on marijuana. For the second time this year, someone stole the life-sized Jesus from a nativity scene in Cincinnati, Ohio, although this time they left behind baby Jesus's leg. EBay was selling 85 toys a minute. Police in New Windsor, New York, destroyed a snow penis. An increasing number of U.S. women were having their hymens reattached. "It's the ultimate gift," said one woman who underwent the surgery, "for the man who has everything." *IM with Marla m.a.r.l.a. says: 12.20.05
Bob is also busy at work. Writes he: "This is actually pretty funny. It makes gay vibrating phone jokes when you choose the 'gay elf' option." Call the following number: 1-888-353-7667. It is (allegedly) Virgin Mobile's IVR for Christmas. Marla, workaholic. gay gaiety: did
you see this write-up on elton john's bachelor party? "Shirtless waiters
wearing black ties and riding boots served guests flutes of champagne.
The nightclub, once a strip club known as Raymond's Revue Bar, features
an auditorium with red leather and banquette seating, a bar decorated
with Swarovski crystals, chairs dipped in rubber and sculptured glass
walls."
12.19.05
Rebonga says, "so this is that guy who writes about america's next top model, project runway, being bobby brown, movies, various dance music, and his cats. i lurve him. here’s a link to just his cat entries. Winston is the ewok-resembling cat and for someone who’s not particularly jazzed by the felines, i like looking at his freaky-cute pics an awful lot. it’s funny when they bathe him. sample line, "if you're thinking 'cat love, how gay,' you are both correct and jealous."
IM with Miss Zulkey: Claire says: 12.16.05
Useful map of our house, by Dave. This is lifted straight from the pages of Deb Duncan's new internet concern, ROVER the WATCHDOG. Rep. John D. Dingell (D-Mich.) recited the following poem on the House floor Wednesday concerning House Resolution 579, which expressed the sense of the House of Representatives that the symbols and traditions of Christmas should be protected. Preserving Christmas has been a frequent topic for conservative talk show hosts, including Fox News's Bill O'Reilly. 'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the House Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,
Katrina kids were nestled all snug in motel beds, In Iraq our soldiers needed supplies and a plan, Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell, Wait -- we need a distraction -- something divisive and wily,
"Silent Night," "First Noel," "Away in a Manger", This time of year we see Christmas everywhere we go, What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy, At Christmastime we're taught to unite, So on O'Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter, and those right-wing blogs, 'Tis the holiday season: enjoy it a pinch, So to my friends and my colleagues I say with delight, . . . Happy Holidays. © 2005 The Washington Post Company Our best luge couple, Mark Grimmette and Brian Martin. Doubles
Luge, gayest sport ever! Yay.
(^.^)/~~~ Speaking of cute, Northampton friends Michelle Bellici and Kathy LeMay just returned from Michelle's show at the Florence Biennial. Some pics below. The Opposite of Cute: Hillbilly Andy says, "Fuck...another one. I hate assholes in SUVs." Ford Plans Even Bigger SUV for 2007. "Ford Motor will put a stretched version of its Expedition SUV into production next April at the Michigan Truck Plant in Wayne, Mich., where it builds the regular Expedition and Lincoln Navigator SUVs. The longer Expedition had been known internally at Ford as 'the Everest,' but the company realized that name, in production, would connote monstrous size. At a time when Americans are fleeing from large SUVs due to high gas prices, Ford wants to be more subtle about releasing and naming such an enormous model." Marla on the Beat Beat: Cellphone technology rings in pornography in USA. So. Lame. "We have short clips where you direct the outcome; where the girl is looking at you and talking to you," he says, "and that is something that TV and print cannot achieve." Ron Jeremy and his 1-cm penis. Don't touch that dial. Slow City Beat: Shelby says, "hey - we got written up in this new DC art/entertainment blog thing." He adds, "also - our tea is for sale at Murky Coffee now." The Cassettes: Steam Punk in a Slow City State of Mind. Speaking of Italy, "In a world that continues to get smaller, faster, and crueler, some communities around the world, notably at least thirty-three towns through Italy, have initiated an idealistic reactionary movement. Many self-professed 'slow cities'are placing cultural priority on the simpler things in life, harkening back to an idyllic time before omnipresent fast food chains and the explosion of information technology. The Cassettes are a D.C. five-piece that reflects this world view through a completely contemporary lens." Ms. Bellici poses with elettrica;
and with wife.
12.13.05
The last time I had no regrets, freshman year at Ohio State, at the Michigan Avenue House, 1992. In retrospect, I probably should've been regretting that outfit. The Enya poster says "this lesbian has recently made some New Agey friends," while The Cafe at Night tells visitors, "here is a young woman who has successfully completed Art History 101." The psychedelic Cat in the Hat shirt indicates that there's acid in the freezer.
12.12.05 Coincidentally, the last time I told a bus story, poorly, I was also having a terrible work week, due to the absence of the web O&M manager. I do not like doing his job. It ranks somewhere below pushing wheelbarrows full of rocks uphill in the rain all day, at the county dump, in 1995. What a year. My mom's already mentioned a few times how excited she is for her church's Christmas Eve service in the "new sanctuary." I am interpreting her enthusiasm to mean I am expected to attend. The bad part of this news: church, that particular church, Pastor Craig. The reason it might be just almost tolerable: Pastors Al and Kathy (and the worship team!) will be "leading the worship." They are my sister's parents-in-law. And they're cool. I'll never be able to reconcile these facts. How to get out of Christmas-related Christian obligations, by Bob. "So, I'm talking to my old man on the phone last night, and he invites me to this XXXmas eve thing at his church, where they 'read the scripture,' etc. I bowed out by saying, 'well, I'd have to pack a suit and I really don't want to and, besides, I hate to tell you this, but I never learned to read.'" Geoduck (GOO-ey duck) with rider. The official mascot of The Evergreen
State College. 12.08.05
- Taco Snow ALLEGED NEWS: We've gotten a bit away from current events around here, in favor of home movies (themes: cupcakes, cats), baby pictures, television, and not much else. So let's see...try not to get shot and killed on an airplane this holiday season...actually, try not to get shot and killed or blown up or beaten pretty much everywhere. Stay indoors. Be afraid. Danger lurks everywhere. And your Washington Nationals may or may not get a fancy new stadium, or an owner, but they did trade former face-of-the-organization Brad Wilkerson and backup Terrmel Sledge for another big bat/striker-outer, Alfonso Soriano. And...Indie Bands Jump on Brand Wagon. And speaking of The OC, do check out TVW/OP's recap of last week: The Lame Plan. And, joy, say this two times fast, Project Runway returns, now bitchier than ever. SOMEONE'S BRIEFS: The NFL All-Criminal Team. And, Betty Bowers' Christmas 2005 Newsletter. And bundle up kids, because here comes the DC smoking ban.
12.07.05 Speaking of bad ideas and Maegan, she is convinced that this stupid new technology will result in a population of fingerless people. Cigar cutters will be next year's weapon of choice for the discerning mugger. More good gift ideas: dog sweaters, camera phones, and pornography. Before venturing out to the club, we all gathered round the telly, as they say in jolly gay England(!) to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. A Charlie Brown Christmas is 40 years old. Which means, before I am scheduled to die it will be ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD. The networks didn't like it in 1965, because it was slow-paced, religious, eschewed the laugh track, and was scored with jazz, of all things. In 2005, what with the commodification of everything, the WAR ON CHRISTIANITY and an attention-challenged, jazz-hating, fingerless populace, I guess it's a miracle A Charlie Brown Christmas still airs. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It's run by a big eastern syndicate, you know. - Lucy Van Pelt
Our condolences to friends Jill (Sherman) and Jennifer (Birdy) and Eric (Underblog), whose dad/dad-in-law died yesterday. Birdy and Sherm penned obit soon. 12.05.05 Right now I'm at home with Anisha and jaimehotdish, watching the Law & Order guest starring SHANE. Speaking of, have you seen you seen the previews for MOST DRAMATIC SEASON YET!? Woohoo! Jill Rogers has made her first film, a 49 second tour de france called Salvador Dali as a Catnip Mouse, starring her cat, of course. Lesbians. Click it.
Tomorrow Brian Minter joins the 30+ club. Come out to the Black Cat to catch him posing as a rock and roll keyboardist, then join him for pitchers of beer all night. He's paying. 12.01.05
- Happy Birthday, Ed! My motorcycle's running and I've been riding it through the park and around the neighborhood, completely legally, except for the lack of operating permit, license and registration, inspection certificate, and insurance. It's really fun, and so far I have not been maimed or killed. 11.30.05 It was recently suggested to me that only a hopelessly immature loser would live in a group house at the advanced age of 32. Now, you are probably aware of the obvious advantages of communal living: everything's cheaper, people cook for you, the free and easy sex, but... ...Did You Know?Group House Residents don't worry about that strange noise in the night.
11.27.05 Look at how cute my family is....."instead of sunday game night, we all made our south park characters together," says sister Jess. Listen to Meredith Bragg + the Terminals (including Brian, and three new Terminals) play Tuesday at the Kennedy Center Millenium Stage, 6pm, Free. Afterwards, head over to the Black Cat for the smooth stylings of Beatallica, with top notch fill-in DJing by Señor Ding Dong. Watch this ridiculous video of me pitching a cupcake to Brian. By house documentarian, Edward Johnson.
HK Proudly Presents... The O.C. - Southpark Crossover Special
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11.21.05
- more SP pics tomorrow....tonight at Wonderland: crazy Balkan dance
party!
Naturally,
Brian has become HK's go-to guy for lesbian pop culture news.
lesbians
on the tv
apparently America's Next Top Model is down with the lesbians:
"Given this history of invisibility for butch lesbians, the fact that Top Model includes an openly gay contestant who is not traditionally feminine in appearance is nothing short of incredible. This is one of the first times that Americans will have the opportunity to have a woman who actually looks queer-and who openly expresses her sexuality-in their living rooms every week."
"Even more importantly, Tyra Banks and the other judges on the show are openly supportive of Kim's non-traditional appearance, and have consistently praised her "masculine" look from the first time she appeared, during a first-episode posing challenge when Kim and another contestant are asked to give a "supermodel sexy" pose. In a side-by-side contrast that must have been planned, both Kim and the other contestant wear neckties, but Kim wears pants while the other girl wears a miniskirt."
"When openly queer judge J. Alexander assesses their poses, he approvingly describes Kim's pose as a "very masculine sexy."
this is a good article, except it a) it never mentions Kahlen (hello?), and b) it refers to Miss J as being "openly queer", instead of "unbelievably gay"
love...
brian
Right here in Clarendon, Virginia: As
protest, church launches commitments-only policy. "To protest
Virginia's laws banning same-sex marriage, [Church Pastor David ] Ensign
and the church's governing council decided that Clarendon Presbyterian
will no longer have any weddings, and Ensign will renounce his state
authority to marry couples." Heads up from Marla, as with the excellent
ad placement above.
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11.18.05
- Emerson House kitchen
I'm really phoning it in this week.
Here's a 5-second video Ed took at work. He calls it Ass
Play
.
The world can't have too much of this:
11.16.05
Brian's doing such a nice
job up the road, I figured I may as well let him write my blog, too.
Regarding that fauxnogamy story of the other day....
i just read that 'new yorker' article about swingin'
and here's why people hate new yorkers:"To our pleasant surprise, however, there is absolutely nothing skeevy about Siege and Katie. They're smart, funny, polite, hip, attractive, self-deprecating, and affectionate with one another. And that's the most disconcerting thing of all. Call us snobs, but it's easy to dismiss suburban swingers who show up at orgies with a Tupperware container or Bay Area hippies missing the irony gene. But when a couple like Siege and Katie decry strict monogamy? It makes you wonder, How old-fashioned, socially programmed, and ass-backward am I?"
what a bunch of self-righteous hipster bulldoodle.
translation: "i disapprove of certain forms of human intimacy, unless it is practiced by the specific kinds of people i am personally attracted to (note: they must be affluent and white, and must not challenge my ideas about male dominance in personal relationships). then i write a 7-page article about how cool it is, and how it is the 'new' thing, and even though i clearly know nothing whatsoever about it except what i have been directly exposed to, i have no problem assuming that my experiences are universal."
love...
brian
Feeling lesbicoustic? I've been listening to this song on repeat
for an hour: Roadside
, Chris
Pureka. And oh, my, the girl is CUTE.
Song c/o Ms. Bolen, who knows her guitar chicks.
VICKI
(DJ Roulette) SAYS, Those royals from the other side of the pond
have come and gone, so now it's time to celebrate our queen -- Latifah,
aka Dana Owens. Roll out the purple carpet, because this Wednesday (tomorrow)
at Aroma (3417 Connecticut Ave. NW) I'll be spinning some soul, funk,
jazz, hip-hop, reggae, and more, all in her honor.
Will you hear Queen Latifah if you come? Probably not. Should you recognize and honor her place in hip-hop as a pioneering feminist voice? Always -- "Ladies First," anyone? Should you watch "Living Single" now that it's in syndication? Aw yeah aw yeah -- back to back at 3pm and 3:30pm on the Oxygen (Oh!) Network.
"Dance For Me" starting around 9:30, up until close.
Signed, DJ Roulette
Tune in tomorrow, when I might actually update this place myself.
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11.15.05
Plugging housemates' dj nights day.
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Taking The P*ss Marx Cafe
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11.14.05
Ouch.
I'm so sore from the first annual group house homecoming football game,
even my feelings hurt.
My sister sent this picture of baby hedgehogs. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
11.11.05
SEE! The personality test that's sweeping
the nation!
My staff has been pouring over these numbers for days, and we've finally
concluded that you people are a bunch of godless hedonists. Without
futher ado...
Least Dependent: Anisha. Loves you; does not need you.
Presidential Physical Fitness Awardees: Dave and Edward. 90%
fit.
Lowest Female Cliche scores: Matt, and the lesbians: S.Bolen,
Marla, JM.
Highest Female Cliche: Shauna wins, with 90%.
90/10 Award: Shauna, who won or lost almost everything.
Everything in Moderation: Constance, Marci, and SSB juuuust right.
The Joy of Sex Awards: Matt & Shauna! Bova! Marla! S.Bolen! Are
thinking about sex right now.
Most Romantic: JM. Shauna. Least Romantic: Constance!
Awww....
Grandma and Grandpa Caution: Edward and Sherman.
Most likely to be accidentally offended: Maegan, Sherman, Shauna.
90% hypersensitivity.
You're so vain: Shauna, ok. S.Lyon, ok. And....Ed?
Conflict Avoiding: Anisha. Conflict seeking: Shauna. Bova.
Gay and Italian, look out.
Least Paranoid: Matt, S.Bolen, JM. Least Hedonistic: Les
and Sherman. Least Mystical: Les and Matt.
Stability Award: Dave. Unstability Award: Oh, Shauna.
MOST RELIGIOUS: With a whopping 50%, Edward and Maegan. Huh.
Most likely to behave recklessly: Bova, Shauna.
Least likely to jump from a great height, unless persuaded by me
to do so: Meagan.
Least Likely to Shut the Hell Up: JM, Bova, Shauna.
Most Accomodating: Constance, Edward, Marci. The nice people.
Be sure to take advantage of them.
Screw The Man: Dave. 90% anti-authority.
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big dave |
Ranger Ted |
Les |
Constance |
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Edward |
Shauna |
S.Lyon |
Maegan |
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Bova |
S.Bolen |
Anisha |
Abby |
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Brian |
SuSuBelle |
JM |
Marla |
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Underblog |
Matt |
Sherman |
Marce |
11.09.05
Today's real update is going to take a while, because good things take
a while. (There's still time to send in your personality test if you haven't already.) Meanwhile, please enjoy this
amazing short film/Honda
ad , from Underblog,
who also sent along "The backstory (quoted from fellow moto geek)..."
"[Honda] claims, their words: There are no computer graphics or digital tricks in the film. Everything you see really happened in real time exactly as you see it. The film took 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again. The crew spent weeks shooting night and day. The film cost six million dollars and took three months to complete including a full engineering of the sequence. In addition, it's two minutes long so every time Honda airs the film on British television, they're shelling out enough dough to keep any one of us in clover for a lifetime. Honda executives figure the ad will soon pay for itself simply in "free" viewings (Honda isn't paying a dime to have you watch this commercial!). When the ad was pitched to senior executives, they signed off on it immediately without any hesitation - including the costs. There are six and only six hand-made Accords in the world. To the horror of Honda engineers, the filmmakers disassembled two of them to make the film. Everything you see in the film (aside from the walls, floor, ramp, and complete Honda Accord) are parts from those two cars. When the ad was shown to Honda executives, they liked it and commented on how amazing computer graphics have gotten. They fell off their chairs when they found out it was for real."
AND...The
Masturbation Synonym Generator, from Bova. Texans
skeert of fairies, UB. President
Bush's Walkabout, mw. Dave says, "Here is a comic you should read.
It's short and enjoyable." The Adventures
of Dr. McNinja. SLyon's new favorite website: Fametracker.
Ranger Ted says, "Revenge of the roasted kitten." Man
who said cat's behavior persuaded him to kill gets 50 years. See also,
Two
Drunken Moose Invade Home for Elderly.
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11.08.05
Speaking of Sierra Leone, Far
From Africa's Strife, a Young Writer Struggled to Tell a Child Soldier's
Story. It must be nice to have Jamaica Kincaid as your senior adviser.
This is extremely upsetting, from SLyon: Afghan
Poet Nadia Anjuman Beaten to Death by Husband. Motherfuckers.
Abercrombie & Fitch to pull tees after "girl-cott." Um, what kind of stupid kid do you have to be to wear shirts that read:
Who needs brains when you have these?
Blondes are adored, brunettes are ignored
I make you look fat
While we're on the topic of beatings and dubious Girl Power, this must be the best sports story of the week, TO be damned. From Ms. Marla, "fantastic!" Panthers cheerleaders arrested in bar sex incident. And here are their pictures.
Neighborhood Update: Underblog has discovered the dark secret of my hometown, Arlington Ohio swingers. And here's a bit about Emerson House's hood, Brightwood. A D.C. Window On Ebb and Flow Of White People.
Know Thyself. Take a personality quiz. My results indicated I'm "overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity." Psh. What do they know? Right? I said, am I right? Hellooooo........
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11.07.05
- morning news.
I've met someone, and I think it might be serious. He's from Sierra Leone.
Now, I know what you're thinking....Sierra Leone is a very dangerous country.
A country of child soldiers and amputees. Of warring warlords, and youth
gangs, street violence, looting, and arms trafficking. But you know what
else Sierra Leone has? Diamonds. Lots of diamonds. And I love diamonds,
almost as much as I love men. And Wilfred, he's romantic. I met him on
Friendster. I know what you're thinking, again....whatever happened to
Michael from Gambia? Well, Michael
is no Wilfred.
Hi Dear,
I am Mr wilfred, I passed through your profile it was so lovely and sweet and i feel you are the only one missing in my entire life, viewing your profile alone, i see the source of my life and i know that coming to you will creat a great happiness in my living, so i felt we could start from friendship, who knows, something greater may come up in time to come if you don't mind, for more of my introduction and to let you know more of my self. you can contact me with my e mail adresse.
Permit me to drop for the moment, i hope to hear from you soonest.
from yours truly one.
Wilfred.
11.04.05
- hey, have you seen my wallet?
Maegan wrote some haikus to celebrate the return of The O.C. She would
hasten to say they are not her best work. Because that's how she is. Enjoy!
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The O.C. taco-kus, by Bullet. #1 #2 #3 Do not forget hope Use your past, your strengths #4 #5 * * * * * * * |
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I was searching my inbox for this creepy site SLyon sent....some crazy woman with a squirrel she likes to dress up...but I didn't find it. I did, however, find creepy entries. Here they are, in the spirit of BWA, who said, "One aspect of my belief in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things is the idea that wisdom, of a certain secret sort, might be distilled from the relentless information flow. By carefully examining the data and extracting seemingly-unrelated items, enlightenment may be found." Let's get enlightened.
wow... - … Real Dolls are creepy, the kind of guys you wouldn't
want to be alone with. But not all. Many are simply lonely -- some tragically
so. Others are disfigured or infirm…
that one's a handful - … in a moony creepy way.
*argh* - … being friendly. not creepy. *sigh*
triumverate - … cuddling wasn't creepy at all.
zoo - … ultra-cool and creepy - she looks dead or something.
match.bob - … and not as creepy she's straight. and sweet.
and not actually possessed.
switching towers - … yeah, it's totally creepy and empty.
it houses "server farms."
anybody up for this argento flic on friday? - … wears a very
creepy doll's facemask and becomes homicidal, soon drives Roberto to a
near breakdown.
secrets. - … it's pretty cool/creepy.
john wayne - … good...and not creepy
Borf - … you get that creepy song I sent?
what's up? - … is it creepy that i sometimes allow my mind
to drift around the characters?
fecalgram - … be big brothery creepy, but it's actually often
hilarious. fecalgrams are cool, but after a lot of reading, i find they
are not real pooh.
it's uterus, not uter-you - … it's a little creepy. actually,
i think it was that drum circle.
This and That: 
Mayor:
Cut thumbs off graffiti 'punks' "The mayor of Las Vegas has suggested
that people who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs
cut off on television," from SSB. Zulk says, ta-da! Pets
In Uniform. Slyon says, zing. On passing legislation that would
require the meat packing industry to label meat with country-of-origin
stickers:
"We can drive a remote car on the surface of the planet Mars, and we can't stick a label on a piece of meat, for God's sake?" - Sen. Byron L. Dorgan (D-ND)
Brian says, righties getting back-sassed:
this remark from a rightie who didn't care for the rah-rah chickenhawk
bullshit on the ann coulter site today:
>Did you mean "I've talked to hundreds of soldiers that have served IN Iraq, both during and after they were there, as well as talking to real Iraqi citizens", or did you mean "I've talked to a few people in my circle of friends that are ex-military, a few of which have kids in the military who parrot back whatever their parents want to hear, and I get my information about the Iraqi public opinion from soundbites on the news, as well as from people on the Ann Coulter newsgroup who almost always completely agree with me."
>You know, just to consider the source, here.
(he's an iraq vet who criticized the war and said most soldiers he knew didn't support it anymore)
most of the righties on that thread got all defensive and started talking about how their dads were in the military and they WOULD have been in the military, but they just missed the bus, or something.
love...
brian
11.03.05
- every day the paperboy brings more.
Food
Stamp Cuts Are On Table: House Plan Would Affect 300,000. "House Republicans
are pushing to cut tens of thousands of legal immigrants off food stamps,
partially reversing President Bush's efforts to win Latino votes by restoring
similar cuts made in the 1990s. The food stamp measure is just one of
several provisions in an expansive congressional budget-cutting package
that critics say unfairly targets the poor and disadvantaged, especially
poor children."
Argh. I hold the (unpopular) belief that unfettered legal immigration is unsustainable, SO HERE'S A GOOD IDEA! LET'S MAKE POOR PEOPLE HUNGRIER! This administration is absolutely grotesque. Shaving dollars off school lunch programs for disadvantaged kids, off child support enforcement, foster care support, etc. etc. Thanks, GOP. Fuck over the kids while making our walks through Columbia Heights so much safer. When I was getting food stamps, I was working my ass off and making three bucks an hour, which is probably about what these people are dealing with, plus kids.
Bob says, "I hate my workmate laura. This game is why: Crimson Room."
Let's have a song. Your
Ex-Lover is Dead ,
Stars.
Everyone's favorite SHERMAN turns 51 today. Proprietor of no home-like place, HK team member, pardner of Underblog, and, oh yes, famous writer and illustrator. A moment of appreciation for Jill, seen here in open space.
11.02.05
Summer, 1992: I'd tripped and crammed and boozed and whored my
way through my freshman year of college, so the details — of how
it came to be that my friends and I, months removed from snow
white suburbia, were now living in the Baltimore ghetto — are
a little muddy. As muddy as that sentence. It was the hottest, poorest
summer of my life. All we had in abundance were vermin, cassettes, and
old Playboys. Some good artifacts came out of that time, though, like
the photo below.
FOUR-LEGGED FRIENDS BEAT: Jumpy Enough to Chew a Chair? Try DogCatRadio. "A new Internet radio station for pets aims to keep the loneliness at bay while owners are out," nytimes, SLyon. Also from Ms. Lyon, Study: Mice sing mating song. "Songbirds may be the Sinatras of the animal world, but male mice can carry a tune too." This guy's getting all kinds of laid: Teen heads to Mexico on horseback, RT. Also from Ranger Ted, Honda unveils vehicle designed for dogs. "Concept car allows owners to interact with pets while driving." Here's the "wonderful openhearted wagon" site. Will your Corgi fit?
KINKY SEX BEAT: Hey, look at not so buttoned-down DC! We've got "Dark Odyssey: HAPPY HOUR... for the sex positive BDSM, Spiritual and Lifestyle communities." At VIDA. If I didn't get Tristan Taormino's newsletter, I wouldn't even know about, hee hee, Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire, the New Year's weekend party/convention. Goodness. Where Are The Gay Pro Athletes? sfgate.
REJECTION IS FUNNY BEAT: Debs wrote a funny little piece for Jest which they rejected: It's Halloween. You're Female. What Are You Going to Wear? Also, Harriet Miers Withdraws, What do you think? The Onion.
look
what you started
Jenny Miller to brian
http://thingstodo77cents.blogspot.com
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brian minter to me
how did i start THAT?
love...
brian
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Jenny Miller to bminter
like this.
http://repressyourself.blogspot.com/2005/10/asleep-me-is-even-more-crazy.html
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brian minter to me
oh yeah.
i guess i did start it
or, rather, the handsome and witty simalcrum of me that resides in kittenpants
mind started it
love...
brian
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My scanner is back in business, which means you'll be seeing a lot of old pictures of me. They'll be funny, though.
(Click It. And Turn Your Sound On.)
Check the daily specials for more to see and do. Gotta work.
10.31.05
- Rolling over like the Redskins day.
Dude, You Smell Like A
Hummer, sfgate, from Birdy. Brian says, "please
enjoy the website of Prussian Blue,
a pop-singing duo of cute 11-year-old girls except it turns out that they're
NAZIS!" And Brian with the D-update: Subject: girl-on-girl action
on AMTP. "on the news season of america's
next top model they decided to have an out, sort-of-butch lesbian
instead of making us look for secret clues like last season." From slyon,
"yet it's always so hilarious when muppets do it..." Woman
falls after dangling from hot air balloon.
So, the new nominee is pretty awful, big surprise. Scalito's biography, notable opinions, sbolen.
From Sherman, "down
where the drunkards roll...
Richard and Linda Thompson. my favorite sad song about drunkards."
Marci, my sister Jess, and friend Angie came to visit. Jess let me put that Smurfy streak in her hair. And here's an alternate, slightly funnier pic.
10.28.05
- Happy Indictment Day!
BWA at US Newswire says: "If you're interested, we have an actual copy
of the 22-page indictment 
against Libby."
Brian also writes, "Approval ratings for all 100 Senators, from voters in their own states. Rick Santorum comes in DEAD LAST. I guess being a gay-baiting Bible-thumping jerk is still bad for business in some places." Yikes! Body hanging from tree mistaken for Halloween decoration, ala bob....to bravely go where no man has gone before...George Takei, 'Trek's' Sulu: I'm gay, from slyon and bobbay.
Erik "Mr. Cupcakes" has bought some airtime. Go ahead, Erik.
In case you missed my recent appearance on "Charlie Rose"…It's OK; dont feel bad. It aired on a Friday, and no one watches Charlie Rose on Fridays. I appeared with Jonathan Alter, Newsweek Senior Editor and columnist, and Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Cheney's chief of staff. Here's an excerpt:
Charlie Rose asked me, "Why are you running the Marine Corps Marathon on Sunday, October 30? Are you raising money to cure some disease?"
"No," I said, "it's a Peace Run."
Libby scowled and said, "The event is sponsored by the Marine Corps! Dont you support our troops?! Why do you hate freedom?" He grinned, and Charlie Rose leaned across the table, extending his giant hands, and said,
"O Snap! That gotta hurt, yo."
He had just interviewed Chris Rock the day before.
I paused, however, because although I recognized Libby's cynical attempt to discredit the position shared by the majority of US-Americans, rebutting that specific rhetorical attack is difficult. Libby was trying to trap me. And I felt trapped, until I heard a voice in my head remind me to speak truth, to always speak the truth, plainly and directly into the face of a liar, in the face of corruption and hubris and incompetence.
If you are a lawyer, speak truth in the courtroom; if you are a teacher, share the truth with your students; if you are a reporter or celebrity or hip hop artist, or even an injured part-time athlete, with access to mass media, speak the truth in front of every camera that is pointed at you.
And I said, "The current Bush White House and Congressional Republicans proposed an across-the-board 2% cut in the 2006 budget for the Veterans Administration, which means $600 million less next year to assist our physically and psychologically wounded soldiers, while spoiled rich kids receive further tax cuts. Why do Republicans hate veterans?"
"Well," Libby said, in a moment of candor, "the President has other priorities." Then he turned to me and asked, "Why are you on this panel, anyway?"
"I dont know," I said. "But Scoots, look: vets in this country need to be paid more. So I'm going to try to run the Marine Corps Marathon on Sunday and carry that message: Pay vets more."
I looked to Jonathan Alter for support, because he publishes a national column every week, and so I hoped he'd say something about corrupt Republican leaders and Scoots' imminent indictment and possible jail time, but he just looked at the table and then reminded viewers to set their clocks back one hour at 2 a.m. on Sunday. Charlie Rose then pointed with his giant hand to the door of his studio and asked me to leave.
I said, "You hit on my girlfriend." [ed. note: true story]
He said, "Which one was she?"
So, with a wrecked back and recently busted knee, I dont know if I'll be able to finish the Marine Corps Marathon this Sunday, but I will try to run it, slowly, and I'll be wearing a red T-shirt that reads PAY VETS MORE. If you see me, please shout, "Peru!" Seriously; it makes me feel good.
My MCM race group (the second of two groups: the slow people) begins at 8:45 a.m., and I hope to finish in about five hours, by 1:45 p.m. Click here for MCM information and a course map: www.marinemarathon.com.
Hey, if you live in the DC area and kindly come out to cheer on Sunday, at the finish line we all can get together for a group hug, and I may puke on you, and then you'll think, "Oh, I have a law school memo to write." It'll be a great day.
JHotdish writes, "i thought you might appreciate this comic that jacob made last night. it was inspired by my preparing for winter and wolfie deciding to sit his fat ass in my box of sweaters and wool hose."
10.27.05
What were you doing at 9:30 yesterday morning? If your answer was "getting
born," you might be Parker Warneka Johnson.
Congratulations, baby! And mazel tov, to James
and Mary. And Uncle Edward! (More
Baby News at...Bears
Will Attack!)
So, Ms. Miers will not be our next Supreme Court justice, which is....good news? Eh, sorry, no. Here's Wonkette: Miers Withdrawal: The Story so Far. And here's AFJ's statement. And PFAW's: Miers, White House Surrender to Ultraconservatives.
Sheryl Swoopes came out, instantly becoming the most high profile athlete in a team sport to do so. Silent no more: WNBA MVP Swoopes opens up about lesbianism, SI. "The only thing that outshines the exquisite diamond on Sheryl Swoopes' left ring finger is the glow on her face as she discusses the love of her life." There's an L-Wordesque angle to this story, too. Swoopes' coming out has tie-in to endorsement deal, ESPN. In other lesbian news, goodbye, Butchies.
Here's a downer: The
Phrases of Grief: To Deal With Tragedy, Joan Didion Ventured Beyond Her
Famously Polished Prose, wapost. And here's something my O&M manager
just sent me, between mountains of work: He
was injured...injured bad .
10.26.05
- magical potpourri day
The Chicago White Sox won the longest game in World Series history at
2:20 this morning, EST. The Sox are up 3-0 after the 5 hour, 41 minute
game. The Houston Astros are pissed because MLB made them play the game
with their retractable roof open, enforcing the Astros' own policy of
popping the lid when the temperature's below 80 degrees. Houston's home
field advantage is somewhat diminished when the roof's open, because of
the din fans can create in the closed dome. Anyway, today's Whine Sharing
Award goes to catcher Brad Ausmus: "For Major League Baseball
to change that, it's a: ridiculous, or b: they are American League fans.
I think it's ridiculous for Major League Baseball to stick their nose
in somebody else's face. Bottom line, it's ridiculous that Major League
Baseball tells the Astros how to prepare their stadium for the World Series."
The Perspective Award goes to third baseman Morgan Ensberg: "We
want it closed because we feel we have a distinct advantage if it's closed.
But I'm a 30-year-old man and I can deal with it. It's not like they stole
my dog."
The SLyon Files: This fire truck is blowing my mind, The Onion. White House to Onion: Stop using seal, CNN. "it's official: we live in Ridiculousville, USA." Kidman, Fare Game, wapost. little girls will attack: Girl, 8, Credited With Year's 1st Bear Kill.
...good weather for air strikes is a good mp3 blog maintained by, seriously, two DC teenagers. Got to by way of My Old Kentucky Blog. Obviously from McSweeney's, with the goddamn annoying 21-word all caps title: SELECTIONS FROM BOOKS REMOVED FROM MY SMALL CANADIAN UNIVERSITY'S LIBRARY COLLECTION THAT, WHILE ENTERTAINING, WERE NO LONGER CONSIDERED RELEVANT TO THE UNDERGRADUATE CURRICULUM.
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Two great tastes that taste great together, from SLyon: "i just remembered i was going to send out this recipe a long time ago - three ingredients! you can't mess it up. plus, it's vegan, if you like that sort of thing..."
Beer Bread
Here's the easiest loaf of bread you'll ever make. The beer gives it a deep yeast flavor. If you like, add your favorite herbs or seeds such as sesame, millet, etc., or even a bit of shredded cheese.
3 cups self-rising flour*
3 tablespoons sugar
1 (12-ounce) can of beerPreheat oven to 375*F (190*C). Lightly grease or spray a 9 x 5 x 3-inch loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray.
Combine all ingredients, mixing well.
Pour into prepared loaf pan and bake for 1 hour. Makes 1 loaf.*Or you may substitute with 3 cups all purpose flour, 3 teaspoons baking powder and 1 1/2 teaspoons salt.
Please enjoy Rebonga's excellent Led Zeppelin jack-o-lanterns!
10.25.05
EDWARD says, "OLD ASS CAR.
an old farmer showed us his 1902 Oldsmobile today. that shit is 103 years
old. notice the 'steering stick.' it has valid plates and still runs."
Every once in a while the classic rock station (The Capital of Classic
Rock! 94.7! The Arrow!) will play a new song by an old band. One that's
not terrible. Terrible, like, the new Bon Jovi song, Have
a Nice Day. Sample lyric: "When the world gets in my face, I
say, Have A Nice Day. Have A Nice Day." Oh, god. It's awful. But sometimes
an oldie will release a good record and we all get lucky. Like Mark Knopfler's
new song: Postcards
from Paraguay ,
from Shangri-la.
Mark and Dire Straits hold a special place in the hearts of the gays of
a certain age and proclivity for the classic rock. They wrote the melodramatic
lesbian fave Romeo
and Juliet, covered later, unfortunately, by the Indigo Girls, and
from the same album, Les
Boys. More gay sensibility than Tom Jones? Definitely.
From roomie Kristina, AKA K La Rock:
TURNS THREE!You are invited to the First Ladies DJ Collective's third anniversary party! Help us celebrate this Halloween weekend with resident DJ's hijinx, sally-go-round, K La Rock, and Arthur Loves Plastic. Don't forget to get there early for cake and KARAOKE!!! We play it, you sing it! Send your karaoke requests to info@firstladiesdc.com. Performers can win gifts and prizes (as well as the love and adulation of all your adoring fans). I'll be there playing everything from M.I.A. to DFA, Missy to L'Trimm, Jay-Z to Tribe (along with some 80s electroboogie, baile funk, and dancehall thrown in too for good measure).
Friday Oct 28
10 pm - 2 am
Black Cat Backstage $5
1811 14th St. NW
www.firstladiesdc.com
10.24.05 - Squirrels by Rebonga
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Save the Date!The First Annual Group House Homecoming
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Here's
the deal:Emerson House will be dividing up the group houses into two
big teams, which will then face-off in a friendly game of touch football
on the evening of the 12th (5pm-6ish). If you don't want to play, just
come along and be a cheerleader for your team (costumes and team spirit
encouraged!). And there's gonna be a half-time show! We'll then go back
to EmHo and have a Homecoming Party (formal wear if that's your thing,
informal if it's not). Please RSVP to let us know if your house is attending.
PS - you can still play football and dance even if you don't actually
live in a group house, of course.
Get Awesome,
Emerson House
Zulkey's got a column in the Wall Street Journal. How about that. The White Sox: Go Ahead, Ignore Us.
10.21.05
- Happy Birthday Matt!
This morning I dreamt about monsters. Big, dirty, flying bird monsters
and bug monsters. We'd stopped off at an exit to get some road food, and
I saw these giant, grotesque bug monsters and bird monsters on the piers,
and in the trees, and then stuck to the car windows. But everyone decided
to get out and make a break for this restaurant anyway. And it smelled
really bad there, like a landfill, and we were running, dodging hideous
beasts from the sky. And you were there...and you were there...and you
were there....
The Asshat Report, with special correspondent, Marla: i-am-asian.com, wherein McDonalds waxes eloquent on the hipness of our Asian Pacific Islander friends. "We're hanging on to our great traditions while we move to the beat of the times." | Sen. Gregg wins $853,000 in Powerball. Millionaire dickhead plans to make improvements to his mansion. | From the Florida or Germany file, Elderly man drives with body in windshield | WHITE HOUSE "REASSURANCES" ON MIERS | A Palpable Silence at the White House: Bush administration nervously anticipates CIA leak probe indictments that could sideline top aides to Bush and Cheney. Chat: Washington Post national political reporter/Washington Sketch columnist Dana Milbank on DeLay, Wilkerson, Fitzgerald, Miers, etc.
From Jeff: "This is both sad and hilarious, depending on how you look at it." From Metafilter: "'Yo Butt Aint Made For That!' Unintentionally hilarious sermon given by sassy black preacher who blames lesbianism for his sons inability to get a date for the prom. Rev. Willie F. Wilson of Union Temple Baptist Church is well known for being a polarizing figure. However, it appears that rampant lesbianism has not impaired Hamani Wilson's dating life."
my boss is stupid and ill-tempered
from slyon to me, bminter, spellmad
woe to the unassuming secretary who just emailed the "DC-Library" group with a reference request using the term "BTW." my boss called me in a rage, "what does this even mean?! is this some of that TEXT MESSAGING? this is completely inappropriate in a Law Firm." i gently explained that in 2005, BTW means, "by the way" and the secretary didn't mean any harm.
now my boss is going to lodge a complaint with HR about inappropriate use of text messaging.
An
Ohio man named Wayne Green was suing a police drug dog for illegal search.
"They've got a mean ol' dog," he explained. "You know what
I'm saying?" The dog, Andi, signed with a paw print when served with
the complaint.
JM
says:
I
have been summoned for jury duty tomorrow. Fortuitously, our dear Marla
was also summoned, and it has been reported that knowing another potential
juror may get one sprung from the duty. We'll see. I do not enjoy arguing
with strangers, which is why I had planned to wear my Robin Hood costume
and call myself Hate Crime. Should I escape the duty, I would like you
to know that I'll spend the remainder of the day riding my motorbike
Bitty, unless you are my friend and boss Jaime, in which case I would
like you to not know.
