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LAST OF SEPTEMBER, 2004 This morning's best Google-search: kobe bryant transcript three eyed turtle. We're #1!
In Sports, the Washington Mystics had a surprising (well, shocking) late-season run and made the playoffs, but lost the best-of-three opening round to the Connecticut Sun, starring cutie rookie All-Star Lindsay Whalen. Our own rookie, Alana Beard, *poof* became a superstar as soon as Chamique bailed with her mysterious secret ailment ("Holdsclaw said she has a medical problem, but isn't being specific, other than to clarify that it isn't cancer, drug addiction or pregnancy."). If you didn't hear about any of this it's because the WNBA is hardly covered or broadcast. You know what creates interest? Coverage and television. Not the other way around - or else no one would watch hockey, instead of almost no one. Goodbye NHL! May women's basketball move to its proper season, and steal your section of the sports page. *** TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR EXTENDED COVERAGE OF YOUR WASHINGTON EXPOS!***
I myself am the sole scientist and subject in this experiment. And you needn't gripe, taxpayer, for this project has one but one private funder: me. (Your money will soon be handed over to Major League Baseball, for the privilege of adopting the woeful Les Expos de Montréal.) My experiment is entitled: Gambling on Football - It's probably not a good idea, but maybe I have a special talent. Stay tuned for data and results as I'm inclined to post them. At left is a Robin Hood model, AIRFIX HO-OO SCALE. I love Robin Hood. Not Peter Pan. On the Lesbian Front: First Cynthia Nixon gets with a real live dykey-dyke activist (her hair does resemble Mr. Dunlap's, as he pointed out). Let's do a head count:
Now Melissa Etheridge (who was a fine angsty rocker until she lost all her angst. See also Tracy Chapman), has a new sitcom in the works for ABC (of all places). Thanks for the tip, RT. Links, please.
From the famous Nancy: Saturday, Columbia Heights! "Yes, your suspicion has been confirmed, by no less than the Washington CityPaper. Yours truly, Lady Nancy of Pantsalot, has a table at the Crafty Bastards Craft Fair and Sale. I'm sellin' all kinds of fly stuff: things made from old audio formats things to store your new audio format personalized knitted stuff (commission directly from me!) pet toys handbags jewels of the costume variety hats notebooklets etc. Plus, there will be live music, good eats and other f***ing awesome stuff made by other crafty characters from around the way. October 2, 2004 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Columbia Heights metro stop flea marketish area at 14th and Irving. xo, Nancy."
09.27.04 At right is an actual skull of a unicorn, from Ye Olde Cabinet of Curiosities collection. Please send your best unicorn pictures to me. Here's someone else full of hate. *honk* offBroadband services provider NTL Group is reeling from an embarrassing incident in which callers to its customer service help line heard a profanity-laced voice message. The British company is attributing the message that replaced its usual recorded greeting to a malicious hacker or a disgruntled employee, according to published reports. The message in full, which contained a flurry of four-letter words, said: "Hello. You are through to NTL customer services. We don't give a f*** about you. We are never here. We will f*** you about, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just f*** off and leave us alone. Get a life." ***** 09.27.04 Happy Birthday Suzanne "SSB" Fox!That's a two-headed turtle for you, SSB. We saw it in Ye Olde Cabinet of Curiosities. And here's me being cruelly punished in the stocks. Photo by Sally. See, Renfest is cool. |
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09.08.04
I'm back from the PNW. This photo is of the entrance to a creepy B&B.
Would you want to have your wedding here?
CENTRAL OHIO CAMPAIGN CORRESPONDENT M. BOVA REPORTS:
Show me what you've got, patriots!
So to back up just a tad, I have an instructive joke that will fill you
in on the mythology of Uppr Arlington. Actually, I have two. The first
is in the form of a declarative statement: "You know what they say
about UA... Dublin is new money, Worthington is olde money and Arlington
is awholelotta money." And 2) in the form of a faux poll: "So
I went down to the Arlington Library on Tremont and asked Arlingtonians
the following question, "What do you think about African-Americans?"
9 out of 10 resonded favorably stating, " I LOVE African-Americans.
I want to own 100 of them!" (as told by Henry "Hank" Hess
circa 1990)
(Truth is, when J-Mil, Cupcakes and I were Golden Bears, there were five
(5)(!) African Americans at our high school--3 of them were siblings (part
of the Odita track team legacy) and I think one of the others was actually
a Haitian. Are they still 'African' or just brown?)
I drove down the street with my mom the other day and we saw 2 brown people
in the span of 45 seconds, half a mile from her house. One was a young
black kid who darted out from behind a parked car into the street, prompting
my mom to say, "Jesus Fucking Horatio Christ! What the fuck is he
doing [in the goddamn road]!?"* (This was actually in reference to
him being a pedestrian, not a black. We have few brown people in Arlington
but NO pedestrians.) The second was a well-dressed, if portly, black woman
waiting for the bus. Shocked again, there IS a bus that comes to the North
part of Arlington. (For the record, there are very few fat people in Arlington,
as well.) I offer this as further proof of the de-gentrification of Upper
Arlington. "I see black people." With all those Kerry supporters,
there goes the neighborhood, indeed.
But, I digress. What I NEED from everyone are some motherfucking talking
points! My folks are Republicans who vote candidate, not party and--even
though my father is reading the Koran, got picked up at a Jersey gay bar
in April, and plays the banjo and my mother delivers food to AIDS patients
and has a skill saw in her Lexus for Habitat for Humanity emergencies,
they are leaning Bush! (PS-they LOVE Teresa Heinz).
Their #1 criterion is national security and they think Bush "won't
blink". Aside from the usual (guffaw-licious) response, my only retort
was along the lines of Bush hadn't even been abroad until 1999 but that
the Heinz-Kerry's partied-down, yo, with the international elite. Want
to score some Portugese soldiers to beef up the 'coalition'? What better
way to ask than on the stern of your yacht moored in Mallorca? How about
hitting up Chirac at a casino in Monaco? Bush thinks both of those places
are pronounced, "Marlboro." I'm actually using the Heinz-Kerry's
surpassing wealth and privilege as a bulwark for tastier foreign relations.
Do I think I'm right? I'll bet you Teresa's Gulfstream V that I am! What
else? I want to Kerry-fy the rest of these UA ig'nants ASAFP. Thoughts?
lova,
bova
*actual quote
09.01.04
I'll be at Mt. Hood until Tuesday. Hold down the fort.
Bova, temporarily reassigned to the Heart
Of It All, is reporting live from Upper
Arlington, Ohio.
The Suburb: Upper Arlington, Ohio.
When a group of Kerry supporters started organizing in their upper-class, majority-Republican suburb, they expected some resistance. They didn't expect their yard signs to be stolen, or their bumper stickers to be peeled off ... and the papers are still talking about how they "ruined" the sacred Independence Day parade. Listen to Greg Warner's report here. Visit the Upper Arlington For Kerry site. 
this entire table stolen directly from airamericaradio.com/
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(Ed. note. Upper Arlington, whose alma mater include, among others, me, Bova, Tess, Constance, Mart, Julie Comnick, and Dana, etc. is, like the U.S. itself, widely envied for its wealth, education, public works and services, athletics, and surplus of button-nosed blonde people. It is even more deeply resented for those reasons, and the perceived ignorance, arrogance, and presumption of entitlement of its citizens. That many of us Golden Bears were actually poor, (and I mean, don't-answer-the-door poor, utilities-being-turned-off poor, gotta-work-at-Dairy-Queen-to-pay-for-your-beer poor) did not help at all, and we were used to being pointedly disliked on every court, field and diamond from Bexley to Whitehall. For these reasons, I feel that there's little difference between my youth of a thousand little indignities in UA, and my adulthood of being a not-rich, not-jerky, unjustly villified American. It somehow follows that how goes Central Ohio goes the nation. Get it? Good.)
COLUMBUS, Sept. 1
Michael J. Bova.
I've been thinking about doing an embedded reporter story about the election from the very heart of the country. The people of Columbus and, indeed, Upper Arlington will be deciding our fates. How the Golden Bears go, so goes the nation. (Take THAT Bedford-Stuyvesant! Enjoy those foodstamps and that faux Gucci clutch!) There is a UA for Kerry organization and according to a story in the Other Paper, Kerry signs currently outnumber Bush signs 3-2! Don't even bother going to the *already rigged* electronic vote 'counting' machines in November. The fine people of UA will decide for you.
If I see one more 17yo in one of those atrocious little BMW X3 sport utility trucklets, I'm going to be the first one in line at Walmart when the attack rifle ban is lifted. I'm going to get one with a bayonet, 4000 round clip, night-vision sight and a cup holder. It will go perfectly with my trendy camo cargo pants and vintage Coach man-bag. Tres Militare. lova, bova
New Magnetic Fields tunes, from i: I Thought You Were My Boyfriend, and I Looked All Over Town.
WANTED: Embedded reporters at Tristan Taormino's summer camp. Please apply to the Kitchen. If you dare.
DON'T MISS DARK ODYSSEY '04! A Journey of Sexual Exploration September 15-20, 2004 in Northern Maryland
This is the unique event I co-produce which combines sex, BDSM, and spirituality in a fun camp environment. We return for our second year with top-notch presenters and kick-ass events all on two hundred secluded acres of land.
Confirmed Presenters: Nina Hartley, Adam Jarvey, Anton, Barbara Carrellas, Bridgett Harrington, David & kate, Felice Shays, Grady Challis, Helen Boyd, Jim, Joe Samson, Juicy Lucy & Martin, Kate Bornstein, Major G. Gardner, Michelle, PhantomMaster and FemCar, Rahne Alexander, Saida, Sir C, Tristan Taormino, and Wilddragon.
Sample
of Workshops: Finding Your Own Erotic Path, Urban Tantra, Expanded Orgasm,
Transgender Sexualities, G-Spot Stimulation & Female Ejaculation,
Vaginal & Anal Fisting, Multi-Orgasmic Man, How to Strip for Your
Lover, Sexual Trancework, Master/slave Basics, Bondage for Sex, Erotic
Breath Control, Fire Play, When Slap, Kick & Slam Meet Sex, BDSM Spiritualities,
and many more!
In addition to workshops, Dark Odyssey features nightly social events, lakeside bonfires, plus a 10,000 square foot fully equipped dungeon and other intimate play spaces open for play around the clock.
Participating Group members get a discount on registration. The earlier you register, the better rate you get!
08.31.04
Dang, forgot the content again. I'll post something later. After lunch.
I totally promise.
"Serena the innovator strikes again," said Serena.
Zulk asks, What's Your Anti-Drug? I must confess, I Hate Republicans.
I bought some music and I'm gonna share it with you, RIAA be damned.
Sweet Old World, Lucinda Williams (Sweet Old World)
Sidewalks of the City, Lucinda Williams (Sweet Old World)
Miss Being Mrs. Loretta Lynn (Van Lear Rose)
Family Tree, Loretta Lynn (Van Lear Rose)
Wrecking Ball, Emmylou Harris (Wrecking Ball)
Going Back to Harlan, Emmylou Harris (Wrecking Ball) Ball)
Can You Hear Me Now? Emmylou Harris (Stumble Into Grace)
Is the convention over yet? I guess not if wonkette's still there.
08.30.04
Purple
goes camping.
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RIP Drac rocknroll dog, from Mr. Scutari. And farewell to Laura Brannigan. And thanks RT for the chickens.
Gloria, you're always on the run now
Running after somebody
You gotta get him somehow
I think you've got to slow down
Before you start to blow it
I think you're headed for a breakdown
So be careful not to show it
You really don't remember
Was it something that he said
Are the voices in your head
Calling, Gloria
Gloria, don't you think you're falling
If everybody wants you
Why isn't anybody calling
You don't have to answer
Leave them hanging on the line
Oh oh oh, calling Gloria
Gloria (Gloria)
I think they got your number (Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria)
That you've been living under (Gloria)
But you really don't remember
Was it something that they said
Are the voices in your head
Calling, Gloria
A ha ha, a ha ha, Gloria
How's it gonna go down
Will you meet him on the main line
Or will you catch him on the rebound
Will you marry for the money
Take a lover in the afternoon
Feel your innocence slipping away
Don't believe it's coming back soon
And you really don't remember
Was it something that he said
Are the voices in your head
Calling, Gloria
Gloria (Gloria)
I think they got your number (Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria)
That you've been living under (Gloria)
But you really don't remember
Was it something that they said
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria
Gloria, Gloria, Gloria
08.27.04
I jogged up to the kitchen here at work yesterday afternoon, hoping to
catch the end of the game - happily, the TV was on and 10 people were
already in there watching. Sweet. We saw Abby score with a header from
a corner kick by Lilly. The kitchen erupted! Well, we cheered. In the
polite and quiet way of IT professionals stationed in Northern Virgina
cubicles. I watched the medal ceremony last night - the ladies were singing
their heads off. Not very well, but with relish. Let's hope Rowdy Foudy
goes into politics, as has been speculated.
U.S.
Women Win Soccer Gold Medal: Era Ends Joyously for Pioneering Team,
by Barry Svrluga. Let's
Hoist One to Thank the Fab Five of Women's Soccer, Sally Jenkins.
If there's been a glaring omission in our coverage of everything in the world, it is probably GERMANY. What's going on in Germany? Luckily, daily correspondent Ranger Ted has sent this:
New jawbone grown in man's back. "LONDON (AP) - A German who had his lower jaw cut out because of cancer has enjoyed his first meal in nine years - a bratwurst sandwich - after surgeons grew a new jaw bone in his back muscle and transplanted it to his mouth in what experts call an 'ambitious' experiment."
Here's a nice blog: ro50. Please see his July 27 entry on the weird deodorant ads. I've seen them in Playboy and Maxim, and man, they are gross.
The Case Against George W. Bush, By Ron Reagan, Esquire, September 2004. Craigslist. From Deb Duncan, a creatively edited State of the Union address, wmv.
08.26.04
Gotta hustle to work today. Make yourself at home. Eat whatever's in the
fridge.
Politics: Liz Penn/Dana Stevens on Kerry's Daily Show appearance: If He Only Had a Heart, and more on that, and all things Washington, from Howard Kurtz. Oh, and, Mr. Swftboat, Esq. quit the BC04 campaign. Also, Abu Ghraib hasn't magically disappeared. From the New York Times, Holding the Pentagon Accountable: For Abu Ghraib: "...the two reports issued this week on the Abu Ghraib prison are an indictment of the way the Bush administration set the stage for Iraqi prisoners to be brutalized by American prison guards, military intelligence officers and private contractors."
Movies: World's first zombie romantic comedy? Shaun of the Dead. We liked it a lot. Coming soon to a theater near you. Also, our own Matt Cowal, E Street Cinema manager guy, was on the news last night, speaking eloquently for 8 seconds about all the new lefty documentaries. He made us proud. And he wore a nice shirt. Good job Matt!
Space: from J. Hudson - "I want a ticket to the Super Earth."
Cute Animals: The inspiring tale of a tiny goat named Pedro. From Ranger Ted.
Contest: Name that guy. "This must have 1985 or 1986. I was on
summer trip near 
Ft.
Walton Beach with MYF (Methodist Youth Fellowship). I remember Europe's
Final Countdown was huuuge. I am standing in the back row. I had adopted
a "wacky" persona named "Shaka __." Yes, I am wearing a coonskin cap,
Vuarnet sunglasses, a bathrobe and a Bloom County t-shirt that reads "Ahead
Warp Zillion!!!!" I am carrying a toy African spear. And no, I didn't
get laid." Pictured at right. Winning entries receive fabulous prizes.
Los Deportes: The Post's Olympics Editor Tracee Hamilton's chat. Found this blog yesterday, Olympic Fever: Come discuss the 2004 Athens Summer games with a couple of fanatics! Deb D. says, "Speaking of Logan Tom...I thought I'd share with you the shot I got of her at the Sidney Olympics. We were several rows up... The light was awful. I was zoomed in, using 800 speed film. I literally had to hold my breath to try to minimize the camera shake. But - I love the shot." Click the small pic for the big pic.
Two more Olympics shots. At bottom left, silly Speedo-required frolicking of pretty people: Swimmers Jenny Thompson, Amanda Beard, Michael Phelps and Natalie Coughlin. Cick for bigger. Bottom right, sailor takes celebratory plunge into the Mediteranean.
Happy birthday mom!
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08.25.04
The Americans in Athens, for the most part, are doing great, behaving
like adults, and looking adorable. Making us proud, in other words. And
then there's Texas. Cohen's
Borat sparks TV storm, from Dave D. Just scratch the surface and Jew-hating
is alive and well, Ali G. demonstrates, by getting a country and western
bar to sing "Throw the Jew Down the Well."
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SI sets the record straight: There was no misinterpreting Iraqi players' anger at Bush's campaign. "I had a feeling SI.com might ruffle some feathers in Washington with my story last week about Iraqi soccer players' displeasure with President Bush after he used the Iraqi Olympic team in his latest re-election campaign ad."
But isn't it irksome how people use the word "Washington?" That's why we who live here say D.C. The District is a city, where people live, work and smoke crack. Washington is the place where powerful special interests scheme to destroy all that you love.
HK gets a very nice mention today at largehearted boy. The large-hearted southern boy appears to be an indie-rock aficionado, who posts good links and lots of mp3s. Check him out.
Did you miss Kerry last night on The Daily Show? Lisa de Moraes sums it up pretty well in the TV Column's We Watch So You Don't Have To. Stewart can make anyone seem chill and fun, which is why watching it was so painful. Kerry didn't do anything wrong. He just treated it like any other campaign stop. Oh well. We love the Jon on the right, but we'll take the John on the left.
Dirty Gay Stuff: In other poli-news, Cheney FINALLY, but still surprisingly, addresses the fact of his lesbian daughter, and the Cheneys' disagreement with Bush over writing stupidity into the Constitution: Cheney Sees Gay Marriage as State Issue. Whines The Family Research Council, "Unfortunately, protection of our values is made more difficult when mixed messages emanate from the White House...We support President Bush's commitment to a constitutional amendment on marriage, but we are left to wonder why the vice president is allowed to depart from this position when the top of the ticket is unified on all other issues." Go fuck yourself Tony Perkins. That's why.
On the Cheney revelation, Dunlap says, "i just don't get it. imagine edwards and kerry splitting on an issue that involved AMENDING THE CONSTITUTION!!! The press would be like "Here's Mr. Flip and Mr. Flop." "Divided Ticket unfit for Leadership," but we have headlines like "Beautiful Bush Twins set to tear up the Big Apple."
IN BRIEFS: Possibly the Best Parody Site Ever, OBJECTIVE: Christian Ministries, located by Sallypants. A woman after our own hearts, Linda Bucklin: fractals, a Chevelle, and The Great Cat Adventures. Queen First Rock Album released in Iran - Ain't that ironic! reports Jay Hudson. Yahoo's Olympic Image Galleries. Good stuff. Pic below from SuSuBelle.
08.24.04
I'm sure glad the November election won't be decided by judges. I mean,
look
what happens when a panel of subjective people under political pressure
are allowed to decide the outcome of a competition. Oh, wait a minute...
Let's judge some stuff ourselves. From Mr. Minter...
Best Use of an Internet Classic: please
think of the kittens, craigslist.
Place We Most Wish We Were: Beach
Volleyball Has Lots of Sand, Little Stress. Least Surprising:
Bush
is trying to bend the Olympics to political ends.
Best Use of a Search Tool: Who
is Andy Dick, According to Googlism? zulkey.com.
Most Revolting: Iraqi
Teens Abused at Abu Ghraib, Report Finds. Complete with photo gallery!
It's cool how our Commander-in-Chief really steps up to take responsibilty
for the actions of his military, and doesn't waste time dragging Kerry's
war record through the mud, considering he's never done shit. I hope he
loses by the biggest margin of any incumbent in history.
Best Angry Voter - Janet Jackson on the Super Bowl incident: "I
truly feel in my heart that the president wanted to take the focus off
of him at that time, and I was the perfect vehicle to do so at that moment
. . . I mean, it's a bunch of bullshit. . . Will I be voting for Bush?
Hell, no!" [NYP],
Wonkette. 
Seek and Ye Shall Find. Maybe. Last 20 Searchengine Queries.
Google: ellen degeneres fake pic
Google: wambach abby naked
Google: kitchen photos
Google: crazy bike video wheelie almost falls impossible
Google: athens olympians playboy pics
Google: sexy men kitchen
Google: scans playboy greece olympics
Google: "misty may" bottom or ass
Google: Abby wambach gay
Google: 3M Corporation World's Largest pink ribbon
Google: playboy greece olympics scans
Google: gay wambach
Google: horny female olympians
Yahoo: abby wambach pics
Yahoo: "playboy women of the olympics"
Google: +"DJ Mongoose" +artist +name
Yahoo: Inge de Bruijn birthday beach pics
Google: abby wambach curve
Google: playboy "women of the olympics" pics
Yahoo: NUDE PHOTOS OF JENNY MILLER
Best Local Olympian: The silver medalist from Takoma Park, Ms. Sara McMann! We love ya, McMann. We'll totally erase all your late fees if you come back to Video Americain.
08.23.04
Back to the grind. Let's resume our Olympic uncoverage. The women's soccer
team (Abby Wambach, below) just beat Germany, 2-1 in overtime, to advance
to the gold medal game. The women's volleyball team, starring supercute
Logan Tom (below, twice) got a must-win over world champion Cuba to stay
in the hunt. On the beach, McPeak and Youngs (pictured) and May and Walsh
are
meeting in the semifinals! So, that's cool. We've got one women's
wrestler left, who Wilbon wrote about today: Through
It All, Miranda Has Kept Her Grip. Sally Jenkins wrote about the utterly
dominant softball team: At
These Olympics, Athena Wears a Softball Jersey. All that without even
getting into gymnastics and track and all that - the U.S. women are kicking
ass and looking good. That's what we like.
We also like this, this, this, this, this, and this. And this. See how I just GIVE you good stuff to look at Adam? You lazy ingrate. Tonight at the Galaxy Hut: Meredith Bragg (with Brian "BWA" Minter).
08.21.04
Happy Birthday HK. Let the terrible
twos begin.
08.20.04
Claire's got Wendy McClure, aka Poundy,
over at Zulkey. Wendy's famous for Old
Weight Watchers Recipe cards and, this is really good, "a meticulously
detailed recap of a news segment that appeared on the Chicago FOX news
affiliate...called Blah Blah
Blogging," in which she was featured. See The
Wendy McClure Interview: A Li'l Under Twenty Questions.
People
keep sending me new stuff from VICE, which I'm growing to heartily
loathe. I do like how they're such dudes, though, and how they
cuss a lot, and call people names. Like, I might say, VICE is staffed
by a bunch of pigfuckers, if I wrote for VICE. I also really like
this column by VICE founder Gavin McInness in The American Conservative:
Hip to Be Square:
It's geting cooler to be conservative. So, this'll be your last batch
of faggots, douchebags, bitches and homos, care of those assholes. After
this, you're on your own: Dos
Greatest Hits | Regular
Dos | Dos
and Don'ts of Photography | 100
Extra Dos and Don'ts by The Onion's Amie Barrodale. Speaking of which,
here's The Onion, which is both funny
and venerable.
ETC: Adopt Pinkey from CZ. Crazed cat goes for the gold. Build your own Bush, by way of the dust congress.
Tonight: TAKING THE PISS, A night of "good music" At The Marx Café 3203 Mt. Pleasant St. NW WDC 10 P.M. - 3 A.M. FREE (bird)!!! With DJs: DJ Mongoose (Archie Moore), DJ Five-Year-Plan (Brandon Grover), The Kaiser (Mark Williams), & our very own housie, The Pinstriped Rebel (*les*).
08.19.04
TOP STORY: Day
17 is up in record time, leaving this procrastinator in the dust.
Bears Will Attack Editor-in-Chief, Emperor and Janitor Brian Minter has
named this month's haul, The
Tiny Catastrophes Issue.
GAY STUFF: Heather Matarazzo Comes Out, nydailynews. See also AfterEllen.com.
Politicking: Announces the always busy MoveOn.org, "Uncovered: The Whole Truth about the Iraq War, the documentary film [by the Outfoxed guy] which clearly and powerfully shows how the Bush administration mislead the American public into this failed war on Iraq....has been such a success on DVD, it's about to premiere on the big screen in commercial theaters this weekend. The new theatrical version includes an exclusive interview with UN weapons inspector David Kay and a section on the media's role in the build up to war."
Uncovered
will premiere in two area theaters this Friday:
E Street Cinema, (Matt's
theater) 555 11th St NW
Showtimes: 1:40, 3:45, 5:45, 7:45, and 9:50 (Friday-Sunday 11:35 AM)
Avalon Theater, 5612 Connecticut
Avenue NW
Showtimes: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, and 9:30 PM
MUSIC: TOP 10 MOST RIDICULOUS BLACK METAL PICS OF ALL TIME, also from Eric at antiprint.com
OLYMPICS: A Stab at Greatness, about the women's fencers, and today's Post chat with 19-year old sabre gold medalist Mariel Zagunis, in which she even answered my lame question. See also, Today's Post chat with Amy Shipley, who's going to talk about last night's swimming and gymnastics.
Mariel Zagunis is a funny kid. Quotes from yesterday's story: "I think a year or two ago, I was more of a fighter. I was crazy in my head, and I was fighting physically for everything instead of going and strategically fencing against an opponent, finding their weaknesses and destroying their strengths." Zagunis then felt compelled in the mixed zone between media and athletes to break into her three-toed sloth impressions, which were rather good. "I guess you could call me a little nutty," she said. "And yesterday, Emily Jacobson and I were walking around the village, and we saw an albino pigeon, and it was moving its head really weird, and I did an impression of that. We almost peed our pants. But anyway. You had to be there, I think."
Zulkey asks and answers, "Michael Phelps has won only 30 gold medals so far instead of his projected track of 800. And silver for the women's gymnastics team? Give me a break. So why are we so bad right now?"
Spoils of Victory Update from the Post - "The Romanian women's gymnastics team won the gold medal and hit the jackpot all on the same night. From their government, they will each receive two cars, a free college education and rent-free housing along with a $50,000 bonuses. In a country where the average monthly take-home pay is $170, that's far from chump change." [not so good for the South Korean ladies, though] "A South Korean judo coach, apparently temporarily blanking on everything the Olympics are supposed to stand for, has been expelled for hitting one of his athletes after she lost a bout. Suh Joung-bok was expelled by the South Korean Federation after a journalist reported seeing him strike Ye Gue-rin after she lost Saturday. He apologized, presumably on his way back to Seoul."
CAUSES: Huber says, "post this shit on your blogs, people... and do it. it's easy." - love cheryl
Subject:
World's Largest Pink Ribbon
3M Corporation (they make Post Its) is building the World's Largest Pink
Ribbon in Times Square for breast cancer awareness month in October. For
every person who clicks on this link and signs up, Post-It will donate
$1 to breast cancer research and place a Post-It in their name on the
billboard. Please sign up and pass along! Thanks.
08.18.04
The Washington Post sent quite a team to Athens, including Sally Jenkins,
Amy Shipley, Mike Wise, Michael Wilbon, and Liz
Clarke. Check out her chat today about last night's gymnastics. She's
cool. Also glad to learn this morning I'm not the only person who wants
to strangle NBC gymnastics commentator Tim
Daggett. Man, is NBC annoying or what? Too bad they have the games
through 2012. 
Happily, Dave has chimed in this morning with Olympic commentary.
"is it me, or does misty may give off a little bit of a porn star vibe with her alliterative name and hot trashy shoulder tat?
"did you watch the women's saber fencing? that chinese woman grunted and pumped her fist after EVERY point - even if she lost it. She made Seles look like Marcel Marceau. I was so happy the little 19 year old 'Merican beat her.
"it is hard for me not to pull for the Romanian women's team in gymnastics. Not only are they good, but they effing NEED to win. I keep imagining their little families (in 19th century peasant gear) held at gunpoint in antiquated "Wizard of Id"-style dungeons."
Thanks Dave! He also pointed me in the direction of eurobasket.com, which appears to provide game summarizes using one of those free internet translators.
A funny from Bob: - N.Y. Mayor to War Protesters: Shop Till You Drop, Too
So, I've been spending a little time on the Curve message boards, particularly the Abby Wambach Is Superfine, Part VI thread. Yes, it's true. Anyway, there's a cute post on there today, which I will copy here in all its enthusiastic unedited glory, followed by the photos the poster so kindly sent to me. The pics include Mia, Kristine Lilly (I think) and Abby with the angst-causing mystery ring she's been wearing on her left middle finger. (gasp! what could it mean?) Click the pic to see the rest.
Hey iam new around here!
Hey iam new around here...I never knew there were all these Abby fans Iam lovin this! I went to there CT game on the first and as I waited for the players to get to there bus Abby was the first to get to the bus! She went inside and she showed us the Got Abby! t-shirt to us from the bus then she comes out of the bus and stands right by me and huggs her friend who was waiting for her outside and she was eating something and holding a Gateraid and just chatting away with her friend while all this I was a few feet away from them and I took some pics! she is sooo hot!
Believe me, I am only too aware there's a lot more going on in the world besides the Olympics, but trust me, you don't want to know about it. It's bad, people, all bad. If you don't stick your head in the sand sometimes, you'll lose it. Let HK be your sandbox. Oh, alright, if you want politics, try Kerry Fingers Sexy Stars, via the great wonkette.
08.17.04
Welcome to Day
17. May something worthy of sharing happen to you or near you. Then
write it up and send to BWA. Come on darlin', I know you want to. No one
even has to know about it. C'mon....do it....
I probably spent 11 hours on the damn internet yesterday. Help me. I need to get some links out of my system: 1). a really crazy site, from Zulk. 2.) a truly crazy video, Spike Jonze, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Y Control, from antiprint.com. 3. BWA Campain Update 4.) Deb's new Italian photo album. 5.) Vincent Gallo - the guy's a Neanderthal, from what I've gathered. "He has never read a book of fiction and says he can barely spell....Mr. Gallo, who calls himself a conservative Republican, says that he sees the movie as a love story and a celebration of America that is virulently antidrug and anti-pornography." Also, he "publicly insulted" and fell out with our girl Chloë, all while promoting his film with the infamous blowjob billboard.
The
Olympic Update: The paper tells me this morning what I saw on television
last night which I'd read about yesterday morning. Tonight they'll show
swimming, women's gymnastics and soccer, and more, the results of which
are already in. Last night's viewing was notable for top-heavy, superbuff,
gay-looking men gymnasticking all over the place. The Japanese were noticeably
better, won the gold, and our boys won silver, which was very good.
You know what? The people are consistently perverted. So must be HK:
Last 13 Searchengine Queries Unique Visitors
17 Aug, Tue, 10:08:09 Google: "women of the olympics" scan
17 Aug, Tue, 10:22:16 Google: "morgan hamm", gay
17 Aug, Tue, 10:49:10 Google: "women of the olympics" playboy
17 Aug, Tue, 10:55:47 Google: the women of the olympics playboy scans
17 Aug, Tue, 11:31:41 Google: Morgan Hamm nude
17 Aug, Tue, 11:41:16 Google: "women of the olympics" playboy
pics
17 Aug, Tue, 11:46:54 Google: ally wambach pictures
17 Aug, Tue, 11:50:02 Google: abby wambach naked
17 Aug, Tue, 12:10:17 Google: playboy's women of the olympics pics
17 Aug, Tue, 12:11:24 Google: kitchen painting before and after pictures
17 Aug, Tue, 12:27:26 Google: Morgan Hamm - mental
17 Aug, Tue, 12:45:32 Google: women's soccer ohio shorts naked
17 Aug, Tue, 12:51:56 Google: "Women of the Olympics" Playboy
Pics
08.16.04 Thanks for tuning into our continuing Olympic coverage, live from a DC-area basement cubicle. Win or lose, some of our team's got a class problem. Speaking of no class, how about the GOP's "Swift Boat" smear ad? Eh, nevermind. Fuck politics. Back to the games. From the mailbag, Bob writes, "thank you for posting naked olympians. imma look at them at work anyways. i watched women's gymnastics last night. the romanian ladies are hot. one commentator kept mixing his easy-to-reach clichéd metaphors in an amusing fashion, saying something like, 'the romanians are like that! you give them an inch and they'll eat you alive!'"
I'm reading this. It's brutal! LPTJ now has message boards + Misson to Burma review + presidential nominees.
08.15.04
Every four years we're overjoyed by the sudden inundation of hot women
all over the television, newspapers and magazines. (Some would argue that
there are always hot women all over the television, newspapers and magazines,
but in our opinion, it's not the case. In our opinion, give us soccer
players. Or Inge de Bruijn). On
Playboy's Women of the Olympics spread - The
Rise of the Buff Bunny, nytimes (from UB).
"I
braced myself for depressing cheesecake, but instead found 12 elegant,
full-page photographs of female Olympians who are decidedly more athletic
than they are sexy. Or, rather, they are both athletic and sexy —
the new sexy."
It's true - they're fairly straight up jock pics, but naked. Because I am your Courageous Blogging Friend Who Fears No Mighty Media Empire, I've scanned two of the pages for your edification. *Warning* large files, unclothed ladies, work unsuitable. HERE and HERE.
My mom used to tell me that I should date Ellen. "Ellen's cute," she would say, as if a) that wasn't painfully obvious, and b) by virtue of our mutual lesbianism, I had a shot. Ellen has that affect on moms, I think. It's been fifteen years since the first time I saw Ellen (pre-tv show, with mullet, doing standup at The Funny Bone in Columbus), and I've never even been invited to one of her parties, but thanks to the new york times (and underblog) again, we can get a little taste of what it would be like in the inner circle of funny famous ladies: Alexandra Hedison and Ellen DeGeneres: Burning the Candle. "Ms. DeGeneres relaxed on a couch and sipped a vodka and cranberry, even though her white T-shirt read: 'Beer. Ask for it by name. Accept no substitute.'"
The
U.S. men's basketball team just got spanked by Puerto Rico. I'm listening
to men's beach volleyball right now, and I just learned some good vocabulary.
When a ball falls between the two players with neither of them going for
it, because of miscommunication or no communication, it's called a "Husband
and Wife Play." In other fun commentary, yesterday during men's gymnastics,
as the identical Hamm twins prepared to compete: "It's probably impossible
to imagine how many times Paul and Morgan Hamm have done things side by
side, one after the other."
08.14.04
Post's
opening ceremonies slideshow, with naked guys!
Here's a cute pic for the Abby lovers. Wambach picked up her second yellow card in today's win over Brazil, which means she'll have to miss the game versus Australia. She and Hamm both scored. Just watched the US beach volleyball team of McPeak and Youngs win - now onto synchronized diving, which is very weird.
Forward Abby Wambach, a former Washington Freedom star, places teammate
Julie Foudy in a playful full nelson during practice yesterday.
Photo Credit: Giorgos Nissiotis -- AP
08.13.04
No Frills Friday (the 13th)
flaming bunny (from cz)
"She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, still attached to the couch." (from bob)
Opening ceremonies tonight at 8. And after, Amanda says, friday the 13th at the black cat? it's a no brainer.
so bring all your ladders, open umbrellas, broken mirrors and sidewalk cracks down to the black cat tonight for our show: Friday August 13 Washington, DC The Black Cat 1811 14th St., NW DC.
The Routineers
Two If By Sea
People Who Know People
doors open at 9:30, bands at 10 (we are headlining but you should be sure to check out Two If By Sea...they are great). love, Amanda
08.12.04
I see you're back for more. Let's see what I have to offer today...a
lady on the bus asked me for change for a dollar this morning, and
I had it. And tomorrow, when my Playboy arrives, I may scan and
post the interview in which Pro Bowl idiot Terrell Owens insinuates
Browns QB Jeff Garcia is *gasp* a gay. A few columnists appear
to get the gist of the story right: Owens
drops another: Garcia shows usual class, T.O. has none; Owens'
childish act won't be missed.
Speaking
of gay, AL
QAEDA PLANS
TO DROP GAY BOMBS. And, RIVER
OF BEER DISCOVERED IN GERMANY.
Over at Debcentral, "criminally insane people write to my husband asking for birthday cards." Zulkey introduces the newest specialty columnist, Notorious L.U.V. Or Notorious Dr. L.U.V. Or Dr. Luvie Smalls. DCHipster aka International Playgirl, has posted mp3s from her mix CD contest.
In national news, the Republicans are bad, and the Democrats are paranoid. Including me and everyone I know.
Booze news you can use: Brian Eskridge says, "Don't let this happen to you." Driver pulls over the cops: 'I'm drunk'. To the right of that story, please watch the video of South Korea's Animal Cheerleading Team. Brought to my attention by CZ.
Happy beginning of the 2004 OLYMPICS! WNBA veteran Dan Staley will carry the U.S. flag into Olympic stadium. And, U.S. Olympic Women's Soccer Team Downs Greece 3-0 in Opening Match of Olympics. Pictured are Kate Markgraf and Abby Wambach in a celebratory cuddle, as HK strives to continue collecting hundreds of errant hits from hopeful abby+wambach+lesbian searchers.....
WHAT ARE THE PEOPLE LOOKING FOR?
HK's actual last 20 visits via engine searches:
Google: humorous pictures+kitchen
Google: "ana marie cox" mpeg
Yahoo: hot horny paperback novel about hot mothers and there dogs
Google: "only hope" t-shirt r2d2
Google: jenny miller
Google: jenny miller
Mamma: Jennifer Miller- children story writer
Google: Harry S. Miller mp3 Cat came back
Google: pictures of BAD kitchens
MSN Search: pics of abby wambach
Google: heck's kitchen
Google: pictures of kitchen
Google: jennifer miller
Yahoo: abby wambach lesbian
MSN Search: Whitetail nudist park
Google: pictures kitchen
Google: kitchen picture
Google: la jenny
Google: photos of the scene of oedipus rex with eyes out talking to
daughters
Yahoo: abby wambach lesbian
Thanks Abby!
08.11.04
Matt met John Sayles today. He's got a new movie coming out, called
Silver City. Says Matt:
"It's a clever website - the movie is a not-so-subtle attack on
Bush apparently. Chris Cooper does an 
uncanny
Bush impression... from the site: "We live in the most beautiful state
in the Union. Yet, we rank only #35 in tourism. Maryland gets more tourism
dollars than Colorado. Now, I'm no tourism expert, but I would bet my
bottom dollar that no one wakes up in the morning and turns to their
husband or wife or non-homosexual partner and says "Honey, let's go
on a trip to Maryland!"
Speaking of this oozing abscess of an administration, I bought a compilation for the cause: future soundtrack for america, a joint project of Barsuk, MoveOn.org, Music For America, and McSweeney's. I'm going to post just a few tracks for ya, this day only, cuz I don't want no trouble.
The Long Winters, The Commander Thinks Aloud
Tom Waits, Day After Tomorrow
Bright Eyes, Going for the Gold
Death Cab for Cutie, The Temporary Life
08.10.04
08.09.04
Sorry about the state of the kitchen. I've spent the weekend doing weekend
things, and the working days doing working things, so my boss, The
Famous Jaime, doesn't get mad and fire me. Speaking of fire, here
is some. Run, deer! Also, happy birthday to Mr. David Dunlap, who is
not yet 35. Please see the daily specials for actual content.
08.04.04
Some of you wrote to ask how I got yesterday's aerial view of U Street.
The truth is, I snapped that shot during one of my recent flying dreams.
I was plummeting toward the ocean floor aboard a rapidly sinking ship
in a beautiful, green sea, when I thought to get out of the boat and
float back up to the surface. But when I reached the surface I POPPED
right out and kept going up! And I flew around and around, and finally
flew home to Emerson St., and on the way I got that photo of Erik and
Constance's new digs.
The photo at right, captured from yahoo.com and passed this way by Zulkey, has a few problems - 1. the U.S. men's basketball team is celebrating a last second win over shitty Germany, and 2. this caption has some errors. Can you find them? Click here for the full screenshot.
I've been listening to this all day - From Mr. M. Cowal: "i've
been enjoying this rad website: www.headheritage.co.uk.
One of my favorite music sites from weirdo julian cope...Maybe too metal/proggy
for ya, but if you feel like listening to some weird stuff - this record
sounds like a bowie ripoff but it's fun and you can hear the whole thing...
Be-Bop
Deluxe — Axe Victim.
From Ranger Ted: Alex Raymond and Rip Kirby: The Look of Love: The Rise and Fall of the Photo-Realistic Newspaper Strip, 1946-1970. Awesome site. Also from RT, J.C. Coovert: Photographer of the Cotton South. Great galleries.
No, Vote for Change isn't a tour name that's going to get anyone too excited, but MoveOn.org's got a pretty nifty line-up for this concert series, beginning October 1, including Bright Eyes, Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, R.E.M., Jurassic 5, Dixie Chicks, Death Cab for Cutie, James Taylor, Ben Harper, My Morning Jacket, Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt, John Fogerty, and Keb' Mo'. So, that sounds pretty cool.
Sportsfans, and there are at least one of you, please
come by again tomorrow for HK's largely unanticipated NFC East preview.
Thanks!
08.03.04
Constance and Erik
are moving to town in less than 2 weeks! Take that, New York, stealer
of friends. So today we'll have another HK PSA: Important Distances
To and Fro CC & E's new digs, at 1624 U Street.
To the Emerson Street House- 2.7 miles. To Logan Circle Crew (Bob, Sally, Rebecca) - .99 mile. To the Metro - 1.08 miles. To Fox and Hounds - .92 mile. To the Lucky Bar - 1.19 miles. To American University - 4.46 miles. To George W. Bush - 1.83 miles. Woohoo!
From the busy folks at MoveOn.org, BEGINNING TONIGHT!
"Fox News wishes Outfoxed would just go away. Instead, Outfoxed has been so popular -- selling 100,000 copies in two weeks -- that it's coming to a theater near you this weekend. Even better, you're invited to a special sneak preview on Thursday night at 7:00 PM. And you can help make Outfoxed a box-office success by coming to see the movie anytime this weekend -- and bringing a friend!
"Starting Friday, screenings are at 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, and
9:30 PM.
Where: Avalon Theater 5612 Connecticut Avenue, NW Washington, DC Phone:
(202) 966-6000
Tickets are $9.25. Groups of 25 or more are $6.75 each.
"On Thursday, Raj Goyle from the Center for American Progress will speak and answer questions after the movie. We expect Thursday's preview screening to sell out quickly, so reserve tickets by sending your name and the name of up to one guest to: outfoxeddc@yahoo.com."
Jay's pissed off. AND he's about to be a father of a second little daughter. Congrats Jay! "I felt that the readers of HK would appreciate (not enjoy) this article from the BBC on China's hosting of a "man-made" beauty contest. Why not just bind their feet and sew up their genitals?! I know I am mixing cultures, but this beauty pageant seems to pushing the limits of absurdity. How can a country destroy Buddhist monasteries b/c they are viewed as naïve superstitious institutions, unlike the honorable practice of injecting god only knows into your cheeks, lips, and breasts? Well, anyway, here it is… China to hold fake beauty pageant." He's also pissed about this: "Gay marriage outlawed in Missouri.....Way to go Missouri. I'm sure your parents are proud and God must favor you - maybe s/he will give you a state lottery and some vegetable pigments so you can draw pictographs of your victory on your cave walls…"
Tune in tomorrow for the Sports Talk Crib Sheet for Girlie Men #2: The Rest of the NFC East.
08.02.04
Boys and girls of all stripes, HK cares about your happiness and well-being.
I know some of you got picked on in gym class and have since written
off the national sports obsession as just a bunch of macho, violent,
nationalistic hooey. But it's time to stop letting that keep you off
the playground. Following sports is an addictive diversion that will
keep you from worrying about more important things, and there's no better
macho, violent, nationalistic American diversion than FOOTBALL. And
lucky you, you live in one great football town. Starting this week,
inspired by the Governator, we proudly present......
08.01.04
I thought I'd renewed jennymiller.com when I re-upped for another year
with my host. Alas, this was not the case, and the site's been down
and is still down for most people. Says Webmasters, "What you are experiencing
is part of the propagation, and will resolve completely within 24 hours
(or less)." So, I'm mostly taking the day off. See you after the propagation.
07.30.04
Help is on the way! America can do better! But not here at HK, where I'm
buried under work, and somewhat fuzzy from a night of righteous, beery,
fist-pumping and bellowing at the gay bar's Kerry party. Today's banner
features cosmonaut hero Yuri Gargarin. Says housemate Kevin,"I am reading
a book about Mir and they are talking about Yuri Gagarin. They say there
are all rumors going around in Russia that he did not die in a plane crash
in 1968. The rumors include space alien abductions and that he possibly
saw some weird shit in space and that he is in a mental hospital."
If you have any knowledge about this rumor, please be in touch.
From transient housie Edward, champeen bicycle racer and professional dirt digger: "hey ya'll check out this picture of what i found today. it's a "halifax" spear point. it's about 3,000-5,000 years old. i found it digging around within the foundation of a slave house from the 1800's. i turned the picture upside down because it looks cooler that way. ed"
Zulk interviews JT Leroy | Web classic: My Cat Hates You, from Bill S. | BWA Campaign Blog 'Morning After' Edition
07.29.04
Welcome back to HK, your source for half-naked athletes, gratuitous kittenry,
wild-eyed partisan politics, hot lesbians, beheaded
mammalian aliens, and all things of interest to YOU! You, dear reader,
are why we never have time to search for a better job.
TONIGHT:
Come out to Townhouse/Cobalt, get drunk, and cheer with all your patriotic
might for Mr.
Kerry's daughters at 9:45 EST (BWA says none measure up in hotness
to "the Gore sisters," but I'm becoming a fan of those long-nosed
ladies) and the Nominee himself (10 EST), whom I will call Killer
henceworth. Killer is a leader, and onetime killer, of men. As BWA
wrote, "'Tough' is the official watchword of the moderate left this
season, and it is being measured in terms of miltary service and a willingness
to crack skulls." Killer is one tough nickname. Right?
LAST NIGHT: What's the best indie lesbian Canadian movie of the '90s?That's
right. Better than Chocolate. It's unrated! Because there's tons
of nudity! And it will remind you of the '90s! Fannypack, check. Flannel
shirts, many. Sarah Mclachlan song, hmhmm. Gay bookstore/sex toy shop
called 10%, yep. Body painting sex scene, but of 
course.
Shorts: Here is a photo of Mike Tyson at his birthday party last month. The Post's headline is At 38, Tyson's Title Quest Won't Be a Cakewalk. From Jay, Simpsons to "unveil" gay character. I'd put all my money on Lenny. The lead story on Lenny's 'zine last week was "Carl is great!" It can't be Smithers, because he's already been outed. From Jill, Purple goes camping. And from Dave, My Unexpected "Appearance" on HBO. This made my day. It's the Republican Christian candidate Ali G. duped on his show last week. Whines Mr. James Broadwater, "...this stunt pulled by HBO is just one more reason why I believe that the liberal, anti-God media needs to be brought under the strict control of the FCC, and that as soon as possible."
07.28.04
Can't talk but will offer you some fun photos culled from various sources
yesterday, as I am actually really working today. HTML doesn't write itself,
you know. Except a little bit. BWA
falls for Obama, and he found this great blog for his link of the
week, Pocahontas
Never Came Home. Pics: 1) Wonkette catches the Post/swimmer dude with
their pants
down. This photo was 
cropped
in yesterday's print edition, but was posted as is on the website. 2)
My former cat lives on, continues being cute. 3) A bridal shower of lovely
ladies you may know.
First I need some filler. Is Ghost Ship one of the worst movies ever made? Possibly. The first 5 minutes are awesome, though. Here are some thoughts by random people on IMDB about Ghost Ship:
"Yeah, a ship! That's about it. If you love ships, then watch this movie. It has actually two of them!"
"Is shideous a word? Well it ought to be. Then I would use it to describe this movie."
"To finish my review off this film quite clearly has one of the worst title ever in the history of not just horror films but films of all genres."
"The movie as a whole is moderately diverting and worth a watch if you don't have anything better to do."
07.27.04
Bill Clinton brought down the house last night in Boston, and on Emerson
Street as well. Or so it seemed to me, watching the legions of shiny-eyed
believers cheering through Bill's energize-the-base address. My base was
certainly energized. I don't know when the man became our Reagan, but
there's no doubt he was recieved like a rockstar/charismatic preacher
last night. And Hillary, too. Man. I am fired up. Related stuff:
 |
 |
 |
No Holds Barred: Alternative News Outlets Smack Down Coverage Conventions. A little bit of this and that from Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Ana Marie Cox.
Kicking Ass. This is the actual DNC blog. This is the convention page, with streams and transcripts, including Clinton's.
Story, analysis, video and photos at washingtonpost.com.
DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION WATCH PARTY at they gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. Cobalt, R and 17th, Thursday night. Assorted peeps meeting early at Townhouse. Watching Kerry later.
The bold return of the BWA CAMPAIGN BLOG!. Our favorite source for political commentary and paranoid, yet romantic ramblings. Read it, and nominate it at Best Political Blog Reader's Choice Award, for the love of Brian.
I was surprised and happy Saturday, whilst frittering away another day on the porch, to receive a package from crafting star Melissa Dettloff, aka, Lekkner. She made and sent me this pillow based on last week's bitching about guys telling women to smile. Isn't she awesome? Go buy her stuff.
Yay. "I get so hot when you talk broccoli: Scantily clad PETA volunteers Ravi Chand of Virginia and Bethany Walker of Ohio horizontally promote vegetarianism in Boise, Idaho. The idea of the nationwide "Live Make-Out Tour" is to demonstrate PETA's contention that vegetarians make better lovers than meat eaters." Submitted by Ranger Ted.
* * * * * *
07.26.04
Last night we got a triple dose of lefty exposé and satire, beginning
with "Fraudcast News," the 15th season finale of The Simpsons, which was
a pretty heavy, straightforward indictment of Rupert Murdoch's vast media
empire, which includes, of co
09.28.04
When
you have seven roommates+ boyfriends and girlfriends, hangers-on, and
the temporarily indigent, there's always something cooking in the kitchen,
and odds are it will be offered to you, you no-good lazyass cheapskate.
But here in this kitchen, no one's around to pick up the slack, and I
leave a lot of slack around.
from 
And
a bunch of other stuff, all sent in by you good looking ne'er do wells.
Usually I at least bother to look through these and post what's semi-decent,
but today I just don't care. So here is almost everything everyone sent
me today, except for something from Mart with the subject line "Dickbreath":
From
Brian, left coast metrosexual:
. It
grants wishes!
Today's
topic is work and cows. Let's do that thing where we split the world into
two kinds of people - those of you who know what you're doing with your
lives, and those of us who end up in odd jobs that we're accidentally
qualified for, which we hang onto, knowing not what else to do, which
slowly erode away our lives, a day at a time, until....until I don't know
what. Until we write the great American novel or go to law school, I guess.
Anyway, I'm working on two new projects this month, which I will now tell
you about.
"Interestingly
enough, milk prices are at an all time high. (Your Dad did a great piece
on this a few months ago that explains the myriad reasons.) Used to be
farmers were guaranteed a minimum milk price by the gov't. Although some
of these price supports remain, they were mostly gutted by Reagan in the
1980's. Then the market started to fluctuate wildly based on the capitalist
principle of supply and demand. Having seen my parents weather this maelstrom,
and having milked cows too, I am all in favor of guaranteed prices to
farmers.
graphics
(stat tickers for fantasy nerds!), and so on and so on. Oh yes, there's
also the embarrassing big giant crushes football commentators have on
quarterbacks Brett Favre and Tom Brady. Can they hear themselves
talking? What does Brett like to eat? Who's Tom screwing 
09.13.04
It's
bewildering is what it is. It makes you want to blow things up, really.
Hey Kerry! ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK! God. Can we get some of that old killer
instinct around here? Remember how you killed ten men?
