St. Pete, Nathalia. "Driving down an alley looking for dumpster furniture, I spotted this on the side of a garage."

9/1/10

it eats it twice

Someday Cat

Brian has found the best thing on the internet. We can now all return to the lives, activities and interests we pursued prior to 1995.

The worst thing on the internet is a whole nother ball o' wax, and we don't want to go down that rabbit hole. But this is the worst thing I've seen today. Thanks, Bob! "Yowza. At my nuttiest in a relationship, i've never pulled a Santa Claus. Oh well, life is long: Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac Dies In Chimney Trying To Break Into Boyfriend's Home."

Dispatches from Day Jobs

LD travels around to different offices for work.

"I thought this lady had pictures of her cat on her office wall. She sees me looking at them and explains that she cut them out of various calendars and magazines and taped them all together. She says she will get a cat when she retires so that she can spend time with it."

8/31/10

Alley News

Hey kids, so, the other night we got to celebrate our little buddy Ezra's second birthday. A good time was had by all 120 of Ezra's closest friends (for real). However, the next day his folks' got some unwelcome news, in the form of the results of his latest scans. After months and months of chemo and radiation and surgery and stem cell transplant, etc. etc., it looks like his neuroblastoma is back (or never left), which means starting all over again, and then some. This is a big blow, and we're all really worried. It may mean Kyle and Robyn will have to go to New York for a few months for experimental treatments at Memorial Sloan, the best neuroblastoma hospital in the country. Should this happen, I'll be calling on you NYC peeps to hang out or help out if possible. Please keep them all in your thoughts. I posted Robyn's more detailed update here: Relapse.

KJ and little E Sunday night, at right, by Jesse.

* * * *

Cellphone Roundup, now with more cats per bite

St. Pete: Nat bar doodle.	Budapest, Dan: Budapest cats.
West Virgina, Bob. "A Gentleman's Club."	West Virgina, Bob. "Hi-Way Inn. We drank here."
DC, Shauna: "Ha."	St. Pete: Journey tribute band!
NYC, Annie: "Watching the bartender at my favorite joint inject an organic/local watermelon w booze. Ps I can pix txt now!!"	St. Pete, my apartment. What I found under the printer. Another one's been living in the printer for 3 weeks.
North Carolina, Jess. "This is happening at Clays Corner Citgo. They just played an early version of Cuckoo."	Oakland, Marlz: "Just another beautiful day in SF."
Tampa, Mandy. But it says, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth. And it's at Inkwood Books. So it must be some brilliant bookmobile marketing.	Tampa, Mandy. Topic: how cats like to sit on things. "Ellie on newspaper. Close to the smallest thing she's sat on."
St. Pete, Jess. "Just the usual around here."	St. Pete, me. Aunt Jesse made a ball for Waffles.

8/29/10

Peter D. Gelles

Our friend Marisa aka Miss Mess lost a very dear friend of hers last week. Here they are looking adorable at her cousin's wedding.

The extended family and friends of Peter D. Bayuk Gelles mourn his untimely death at age 33 on August 20, 2010 in Brooklyn, NY. Peter was a devoted son, loving brother, and most loyal friend. He is survived by his mother, Mary June Bayuk, his father and step-mother, Jeremiah and Laurie Gelles, and his elder brothers Jacob and Sean Gelles. Peter's infectious laughter and insatiable curiosity will be missed, and we regret most of all that his many talents were not fully realized. Peter's life's works include directing two award-winning independent films (Abandon, 2004; Crenshaw Nights, 2008), and he was proud to have served most recently as the director for SiTV's Model Latina. His passion for film was rivaled only by his penchant for armchair psychoanalysis and spirited debate, and we will yearn for his pithy commentary and dry wit. A memorial service in Peter's honor was held on Wednesday 8/25/10, 12pm, at Congregation Beth Elohimm, 274 Garfield Pl., Brooklyn, NY.

8/27/10

have a nice day

A Cliché-Ridden Guide To Avoiding The Black People

This weekend a bunch of crazy bigots shall descend upon DC with their misspelled signs and funny clothes! But how will they avoid scary black people in Chocolate City? Glenn Beck Rally Attendees Warned Of Dangers Of DC Metro, HuffPo. Heehee.

Brian says:

That blog actually calls out my Metro stop (Potomac Ave) by name as "unsafe". The major structures within 100 yards of that stations are a Harris Teeter, an elementary school, a family-owned Italian sandwich shop, a GameStop, and a pizza place.

The only thing that makes it look ANY different from Clarendon is the fact that the little children waiting to cross the street are black.

UNSAFE!

Dispatches, North and South

Text from Annie: Im watching a softball game between a team of hasidic Jews and a team of mostly overweight Hispanic dudes. I love new York.
Text from Me: Im at a dive bar talking to friendly drunks fresh outta jail. I love florida?

At dad's house

8/26/10

yelling at the gods for satisfaction, receiving only a soda bottle falling from an airplane

Happy birthday, mom!

It's almost (fantasy) football season, which means so many wonderful things, like this photo of 'Skins safety LaRon Landry, promoting the quality of Leadership! Yes, please.

You should click everything in this list. Guaranteed to please or your money back.

• Hungover Owls, DC Bolen/Coach.
• Dorothy Surrenders, Maine Megs. "Dude! I was trolling the interwebs last night - u gotta see this! Check out that blog dorothy surrenders - scroll down to my weekend crush. Guinevere Turner on taxi cab confessions! Oh man. That girl is drunk!" [I'd give you the direct link to the post, but then you'd miss all the nice photos of ladies in tank tops. -ed]
• Party Cat, Oakland Marlz. Love Party Cat. Kinda reminds me of Megs.
• Cosmologist's theory about black holes puts a new spin on the universe wapo, Mr. Seeno. "Sadly, there is no point in our looking for other universes inside black holes. As you approach a black hole, the increasing gravitational field makes time tick more and more slowly. So, for an external observer, any universe inside would form only after an infinite amount of time had elapsed."
• Nelly - Over And Over ft. Tim McGraw , NYC Bob. "oh my god, this is SO gay!"

Here's a sweet pic from WV Andy, to go.

8/24/10

Lunch?

Follow your dreams

I've got a small crew of people here who don't work Mondays, and one of them is Heather. Heather is always game for anything. She also doesn't mind getting up early. So, yesterday she and I took some kayaks down to the Gandy Bridge and set off in the pouring rain.

(This stretch of narrow beach along the highway is called The Redneck Riveria, and here is why.)

We paddled toward the plant pictured above for a while, saw some dolphins, and then turned around when it started really storming. It felt great. I've got nothing else to report about it, but I don't have much else going on besides yoga, and two friends have asked me nicely to not let HK become a yoga blog. Shrug.

Speaking of yoga, I had a class Sunday morning at 9am. It was pouring down rain, and I was surprised that nine middle-aged regulars and LD showed up. Most of them were really struggling that day, but they didn't complain. I like people like that. I'm going to try to be one of those people some day.

Occasionally I say something dumb and LD makes a note of it in her little machine. Then she makes a movie.

Follow Your Dreams, Jenny Miller

Lunch

Dan W. made this one about my busy sister.

8/18/10

stuff that break dancers and kids do routinely

Eka Pada Koundinyasana

I put a little calendar there in the right nav to show my teaching schedule. Now your only excuse for not coming to class is that you live in another state.

This guy's got sick body control: Digital Asana Project: Jumping to Eka Pada Koundinyasana II. But don't let the freaks get you down. You too can do the thing one of my teachers calls "Blossoming Butt" pose. Or you can just call it plain old One-Legged Arm Balance, if Sanskrit and butt blossoms make you uncomfortable.

Strike a Yoga Pose: One-Legged Arm Balance

Here's what it looks like if you're really good at it, and you happen to be on a boulder in a river.

From Hillary's Yoga Practice: Free Online Yoga Podcast Classes

8/18/10

thanks for getting me off

Have your papers in order when Jesus comes again

bob: this is awesome. Fifteen Things You Never Knew About James Bond, from Bully Says: Comics Oughta Be Fun!

He thanks girls for getting him off.
Also, he knows what a Chinese name doesn't sound like.

me: wow, these are awful! who was doing the typesetting? and the coloring?
bob: indians.

* * *

Gay/Straight Alliance Beat

From Miss Mess: WHAT YOUR OPPOSITION TO GAY MARRIAGE MEANS

Bob's Crazy Hometown Paper Beat

Let's do a few, and really get a feel for the fist-shaking pulse of Authentic America.

Bob: This is in response to a letter in which someone questioned the Christian sensibilities of the Arizona legislation permitting all manner of racial profiling in the hunt for the ever-elusive illegals. The previous letter, now lost to the HD's website, suggested somehow that Jesus may show up in AZ w/out papers and not be permitted to enter the US and save it from ... I dunno, entering a deflationary economic downward spiral?

Miriam: "huntington": "city" of "thieves" and "excessive" use "of" quotation "marks"

me: people in in the greater Huntington "area" are sure pissed off about a lot of things.

Bob: it seems like it's all they "ever" do. one of the things that strikes me in general about the place, to this day, is how much the hillbilly-with-a-shotgun sensibility defines that joint. nobody cooperates, everybody hates everybody else for one reason or another, don't give an inch or you'll get swindled. this is, of course, top of mind since i have to go there this weekend and engage in just the kind of activity that inspires the worst of this in people. sigh.

Miriam: what a pithy summing-up of everything that's "wrong" with huntington! perhaps you should write an "op-ed" for the h-d!

Bob: i "could" do that, but i "couldn't" deal with the backlash from people like "T-Bagger" who says: "The majority of workers in Huntington who are getting taxed live outside of city limits. Most Huntington residents are on welfare and won't have to pay anything."

* From Mom: this is our capsized boat in Tanzania...At this point, I was still inside trying to hold on for dear life, which as you can see from the angle of the boat didn't last much longer. Thought you'd all enjoy seeing the shot. That's Tukei on the left trying to save the littlest passenger. Someone on the rescue boat snapped this shot. hugs...usinafrica

8/17/10

So Bad, So Good

The Re-Establishing Internet Trust Station

I'm back from DC where I got to visit a lot but not all of my peeps, because I was busy working and Girls Rock! DC-ing. Check out the coverage and the photo galleries of the 9:30 Club showcase! At DCist: Third Annual Girls Rock! DC Showcase @ 9:30 Club, and at Brightest Young Things: Girls Sure Do Rock! DC. Such an awesome time, and the volunteer afterparty at the Black Cat was the funnest. My vocabulary is getting terribler.

(Hey, please hang up and drive before we have to shake our heads at your stupid death: Lost cell-phone caller drives into river, dies. It's easy — just pull over. Really.)

I'm sitting here watching our FIRST PLACE RAYS play the Texas Rangers, which means I'll be stuck on the couch for three hours, just long enough for a much delayed cellphone pic roundup. By the way, it's a good time to be a Nat's fan, too. And here we go...

What do you feel? Good, bad, what?

Bob, NYC: "Baby's first World Cup. Next time round, he'll be bored as well."	Anonymous: "Here is me. Fresh outta the shower." Wrong number, buddy.
Sadly, I don't remember who sent this. But it said, "Well, are ya?"	Another uncredited punny cellpic gift.
Bob, NYC: "Killer, the world's most hideously ugly dog."	Bob, NYC: "This is the toilet where i get my hair cut."
Jesse, Tampa: Baby possum didn't make it.	Me, St. Pete: Neither did this guy.
St. Pete gallery walk: Sister to LD, "Who does this remind you of?"	St. Pete gallery walk: Very Catholic decks.
St. Pete gallery walk: So True	My apartment: Omar the Terrible.
St. Pete Beach: My sister and I were wandering through this typical Florida art gallery, making fun, when we heard the magic words: "Screech owl."	St. Pete Value Village: I can't say anything about this that Lileks hasn't. But I've had a little Jewish cuisine in my life, and it didn't come with socks or 5 shots of vodka.
Bolen, DC: Something something "bullshit."	Waffle House: Waffles sleeps propped on the window crank.
Waffles holds my hand when she sleeps. Awww.	Jesse, Tampa: Robyn and Ezra in the pantry.
Nathalia, St. Pete: Audrey Tatou in men's clothing — as Coco Chanel!	DC: Peanut Butter is Fine.
Heck's Kitchen: More cats per serving.	My sister made this in her leather class. Pretty sweet, huh?
Megs, Maine: Mustachioed mermaids, dragon cartat, Sasquach jerky, spooky things, terrible tattoos. Lots of boozing in Maine.
Jesse, North Carolina Folkie School: "It's the garden scarecrow."	Jesse, North Carolina: "I'm watching an intergenerational mountain clogging class."
Jesse, St. Pete: Weird penis fungi growing in the plant.	DC: At Kingsbury School, The Re-Establishing Internet Trust Station.
Jill, Boston: Don't let no Muslins install your hvac.	Megs flew these live lobsters from Maine to Florida in a cooler full of seaweed.
DC: Random showcase volunteers.	DC: Roadies and band coaches make the rock happen.
Columbus, OH: LD & Dad jams.	Ranger Ted, Montana: RT and Stockyard Queen's big D bullrider pal Sara. "Her chaps say 'Cowboi' on them." And her FB has nekkid beefcake pics, too!

8/13/10

Friday the 13th part MMX

THEY MUST MAKE. THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE.

Here we preview The Expendables, the latest in a long line of probable disappointments for Bob. Then we direct you to a post I should have done myself.

Perfectly Terrible

August 5th:

bob: i'm ok. busy. and excited that the expendables comes out next week as it's the MOVIE EVENT OF THE MILLENNIUM

i just watched the trailer again.

there is no way it's not a perfect movie.

me: hahaha

bob: 'The Expendables' Trailer

me: ive heard this before

bob: but it's DIFFERENT this time, jenny! just look at the cast! and the last time i said it was about the new rambo movie, which was the perfect movie!

me: ah, dudes killin towel heads, one-liner "jokes!"

bob: you're missing the big picture, jennifer gail -- look at the CAST

me: i am

bob: every 80s movie roid-head ever in ONE MOVIE

me: yes

bob: THIS IS A RECIPE FOR PERFECTION!

me: i could not sit through this. when's it come out?

bob: next week!

me: sly looks pretty good

bob: surgery and steroids will keep you young

me: this looks godawful

bob: IT LOOKS PERFECT

me: the chick is hot

bob: spirit of the thing.

me: perfectly terrible :)

bob: i will not disagree w you on that point, but i think the point is that it's just the kind of terrible that is superfun!

it's the kind of thing i wish i could see w andy, that i considered flying to wv for the express purposes of seeing it w andy, but then changed my mind because that's fucking stupid

me: it's cool, i understand your enthusiasm. if it were something like charlies angels, or similarly action-chick terrible, i would be psyched

i was sad to hear Salt had no redeeming qualities and that i definitely shouldnt go. sigh

bob: i heard it was very good

ao scott was over the moon for it and andy liked it, which i understand is no barometer, but we often agree on pictures like that

me: like if instead it had sigourney weaver, and linda hamilton, hillary swank, that chick from crouching tiger, angelina...

ao scott liked it?

bob: yup dude. i'd be stoked about that movie too. why don't they make that movie?

me: cuz they only make dude movies

Today:

bob: from rebecca. funstuff given our most recent conversation: What If The Expendables Were Women?

Boob Report

Jessica Roake is back in action! What a boob: My breast-feeding failure, at Slate. She adds, "I emphatically deny the title; I wanted to call it nipple sombreros!"

8/11/10

I Can Has History?

Girls Rock! DC

So I'm up in DC, back at the old house, workjob mornings and rock camp afternoons, and life's pretty good. Camp is all-consuming. And we're not allowed to post pictures of campers, hence, there's not a lot of Heck's going on. If you'd like to follow GR!DC on FB, it is here.

Summer Reading

• From Oakland Marlz, Over a Century of Affectionate Men Through the Camera Lens, SFGate. Related: Affectionate Women. Also submitted: "Quite and opus." =^..^= I Can Has History? =^..^=
• From NY Bongz: "yay latifah. as always, set your eyes to safe browsing mode and ignore most of the words." Queen Latifah & Jeanette Jenkins Are On A Boat!, dlisted. The Queen is such a stud.
• Kentucky Neil: "If this guy wins, can i move in with you?" Rand Paul's Kooky College Days (Hint: There's a Secret Society Involved), GQ.
• Maine Megs: "Maybe not total badass of the day, but way to make an exit!" Fed-Up Flight Attendant Makes Sliding Exit, NYT. "A JetBlue flight attendant unleashed a tirade, pulled the emergency-exit chute and fled Kennedy Airport."
• NYC Bob and Miss Mess: "Pure awesome: Churchgoers, strippers protest one another in Coshocton County, Columbus Dispatch. "Also, with video. These are some ROUGH looking strippers, but god bless em!" Strippers Turn Tables on Ohio Church With Protest of Their Own

Foreign Mail Beg

From: Dan W.
Subject: cats of the world

Hi Jenny,

Attached is a photo of a cat I saw in Vilnius a couple of days ago. I haven't seen any in Budapest yet.

Mast photos: St. Pete Double, by AJ